Advice or opinions wanted. Any thoughts are appreciated.

[keywesty]

I was considering writing her a letter. Not a "I want you back letter" but more a friendly touching base letting her know I'm OK with her decision and not apologizing but accepting my responsibility for what went wrong. No groveling or sucking up to her just a short handwritten note. I am really confused if I should continue on with this idea or stick with out of sight but definitly not out of mind. I don't think she need's to know how much pain she left behind this time. I do however want her to at least think I'm doing great and pushing on ( even if I not ) lol. Gawd...love can sure suck sometimes. I would love some input from you women if I should do this or not.

[Rhainnonxx]

Don't! if you really want her to think your doing fine the best action to take is no action

[keywesty]

Yep, that's kinda the conclusion I've come to. Beside's I think knowing how angry and frustrated I've become with the whole mess that would probably come across in anything I wrote. So no letter, just keep on the NC. She won't be back, I'm resonably sure.

[fuchsia_bee]

ye, don't write her a letter...if you will she will know that you are thinking about her, missing her and stuff like that. let her think that you are fine and that you get on with your life. this way maybe she will wonder what you are doing and maybe sometimes she will contact you. good luck and best of wishes

[tremolo]

I wrote my ex a similar letter recently. Mostly because the night he broke up with me (a month ago), he didn't want to talk, so a lot of things went left unsaid. We'd had no communication since then, and I felt like I had things to say that were important to put out there - I also didn't want to leave things on a bad note. I was cordial to him that night - at least, after he broke up with me - but because of the argument we'd had the day before, I wanted to smooth over a few rough edges. I never said I missed him, never said I wanted him back... I told him he shouldn't even feel obligated to respond to my letter. Just by sending it and telling him I'd been thinking about us, he may (wrongly) assume I want him back. The fact is, I don't, unless he's willing to treat me better. I don't care so much if he knows I still have some lingering feelings for him. I made it clear I was happy for the time we spent together, but I think I also gave him the sense I'd moved on, without saying as much.

I knew he wouldn't write back, because was non-communicative in our relationship, so why would he respond after our break-up? But since he hasn't, I feel vaguely let down. I don't know if he ever got the email, ever read it, and if he did, I'll never know whether he gave a flying **** about it. That stings ever so vaguely. Perhaps he's met someone new already, and I'm a distant memory. Either way, I feel like I did myself a small favor in trying to clean up the image he had of me. I feel better also that I've said basically what I wanted to say, and - assuming he did read it - there shouldn't be any confusion on his part about how I felt and acted in our relationship. I managed, I think, to implicitly point to what he did wrong, while acknowledging my own faults and letting him know I don't precisely blame him for his decision. At the same time, I think I conveyed how unfortunate - and unnecessary - it was that our break up happened. We just had a communication problem.

While I may regret somewhat that my letter has gone, and will likely go, unacknowledged, and that he may know I've been thinking about him, I feel like the letter was all in all a good thing. If he reads it and trashes it and thinks negative things about me because I sent that letter... well then, that's really his problem and not mine. I don't want to go back to that old relationship, so whatever happens is fine. I have a feeling I'm going to come out better than he does in the end.