I'm in a bad place right now - advice (very) welcome.

**Davros** · 24-06-11, 07:27 PM

I guess you could call this a sort of post-graduation blues.
I graduated college (university) last year with a high degree in English Lit. I was overjoyed and excited for the future.
findng a job for the next year was tough going. I decided to stay in the city I'd studied in even though it was 2 hours away from my hometown because the career prospects were much, much more than my tiny little home town.
I worked at the bar job I'd had to get me through college for the next several months (i hated it and was always overlooked even though I worked my butt off) at the same time as taking on lots of unpaid work placements to build up my experience.

After graduating I also moved in with my boyfriend because my friends and flatmates all went home after they'd finished college.

A couple of months ago I quit my bar job because I was so, so sick of it. I was getting absolutely nowhere and I thought it would push my search of finding a better paying job (I could litterally only just afford my rent and bills) but since then I have struggled to find a job. Noone wants to know me because I havent got any direct skills that other degrees offer like computer science and graphic design - even straight admin jobs dont contact me for interviews even though I have office experience and am extremely profficient in the MS package. I am clever and dilligent yet I'm overlooked. There are three colleges in this city and jobs seem to be very scarce indeed.

On top of this I'm finding it difficult living with my boyfriend. He can be very untidy and because he works he expects me to do everything (he doesnt pay my rent by the way) he leaves his crap everywhere, plates, clothes, and if I suggest he do something he pulls out 'IVE BEEN AT WORK ALL DAY'. Its so irritating. We live in a dingy one bedroom flat thats full of damp and I have no friends left here apart from my old work mates who I hardly ever see. Im stuck in this flat alone every day, trying desperately to look for jobs. when he comes in, if the flat isnt tidy he just calls me lazy and plays his games all night.

I feel so down. I went home for a month recently and it was brilliant. I had so much company and saw all my friends and felt amazing again. My mum was so supportive and going home again is so tempting but I know that the job prospects are so small. And theres no media companies or big companies like what I'd like to get into.

also my flat in the city is on a running contract which means I have to give my landlord two months notice if i want to leave. So its not asif i can just bail and go home because I'd still have to pay my rent.

Id like to stress that in this spare time I have I dont just watch TV, I take on creative projects that have an end result that I can show employers. I'm not a slacker in any way.

I just don't know what to do. When I get a job I'd probably like to move out, with or without the bf. I feel very suffocated at the minute and very lost as what to do. I have no money at all so I cant go anywhere. And even if i get my bar job back im still stuck here and I'll never afford to move out.

**IncognitoSir** · 25-06-11, 03:08 AM

Your bf complaints really bother me. I know it sucks not to have a job, but don't blame your unhappiness on him. He DOES work all day and I'm sure he's been a slob ever since you've met him it's just never mattered because you didn't live with him at the time. Why not clean up the house while you're their all day? Looking for a job is a job in itself. All you can do is keep looking and try to stay positive. I'd encourage you to try to work somewhere though in the meantime, income is better than no income.

**Davros** · 25-06-11, 03:16 AM

The boyfriend tidying annoys me because when I lived with my friends we'd clear up our own mess. We aren't married and I'm happy to clear up my own stuff but clearing up after my boyfriend every day like he's a child when I'm 21 and hes 26 is not what I had in mind for my life. When I worked and he lazed about playing games for months I still tidied my mess up.

**Davros** · 25-06-11, 03:29 AM

Sorry I sound like a proper doom and gloom. I love him lots and I do it it's just a bad time right now I guess.

sadie_genie · 25-06-11, 11:05 AM

Go to graduate school or teacher's college.

**Sonrisa** · 25-06-11, 11:09 AM

why doesn't he pay rent?

**Jolicoeur** · 25-06-11, 11:26 PM

I think you need a challenge. As soon as you find an interesting job, this blues will blow over like it never happened. Personally, I think you should look for a job further than the city you're in. Scout nation-wide, or maybe even internationally.

I don't really understand why you have to give your landlord two months notice. Aren't you subletting from your boyfriend? Before you moved in, did he live alone or did he kick another flatmate out for you?

The hard thing is what to do when you find an interesting job away from your boyfriend. But if he is too selfish to clean up his own mess, and especially if it is bothering you, you guys have a shaky future anyway.

Or you could always take another post-gradution course to get more marketable skills, as long as it is something you like doing.

**doppelgaenger** · 26-06-11, 03:52 PM

One of my friends graduated two years ago with a degree in English, and he is a supervisor in retail. He started at an entry level position. If you don't want to be a teacher, then follow your skills to an entry level job and climb up the corporate ladder. If you don't have skills, develop some.