sucks today the pain crappy feeling is much worst then before ....am i going to make it with this moving on thing? how to kill this love feelings towards you still? how can you do it? how?
-I had bad days too...just when I would think MAYBE I would be ok.. some small thing, and I would be right back under knife again.. its so painful.. but the bad days will be less and less.. believe that...
shit should i cried again today? im so tired to bare this pain...wanted to see you again so bad but then you will think im a psycho and will hate me for it...
Last night was hard. I barely slept because of you. So I lost it a little last night and I hate myself for it. I'm tired of fighting about this....I'm tired of feeling like I'm trying to convince you of the relationship we had and your feelings for me. I don't deserve that. I deserve to be with someone that sees it all without even one hint of doubt. It sucks because I thought you were that person. I thought you would always be there. But now I'm beginning to realize that you won't and probably in a few months we won't even speak to each other. You said you don't see any logical reason as to why we can't have some sort of a friendship...really? How about the fact that we BOTH still have strong feelings for the other one, we BOTH are still attracted to each other and we BOTH still see some sort of a future with one another. Yes....that's a true statement. How can we be friends when we feel this way? How can you expect me to be your friend then you meet some other girl? That's not what I want. This is so obnoxious. I want to be done with you. My heart is finally starting to believe my head. Today I called in sick because I barely slept last night, so today I'm actually going to purge you from my life. I'm getting rid of all the pictures and gifts that we have together. They are going into a box and will not be opened again. I can't throw them away or burn them...because they are a part of me that I will never forget. Because you were everything to me. I wish you'd see what you are tossing aside. Maybe now you will because I deleted my fb account and I will NOT contact you again. If you want some sort of a relationship we established that you will be the one that will work to make it happen. The last time that I have plans to see you are in two weeks. After that time I will no longer make plans. You will realize what you are missing. If not, well...I'll find someone else who will know what they have when they have it.
Last edited by confused&single; 27-06-11 at 07:23 PM.
you would like this video...
[url=http://www.weebls-stuff.com/songs/Amazing+Horse/]Amazing Horse - Weebl's Stuff[/url]
the most loneliest day of my lifeeeeeeeeeeeeee..............
i guess you just want to end the relationship. the last time you asked me why i don't go to your hse to comfort u. now i did, i hv made my effort, convincing that we can do much better, cried...but nothing gonna change your decision. its hard for me...coz i still love you very much.i don't know how and what to do, going back to single life...its a mess for me without you taking care of me anymore...i won't open my heart to anyone else again...2 times are enough for me. i cant do much now except to accept the fact, to let u go. adios...miss u...love u always...
So probably the most bizarre thing ever happened just now. I opened my email account that I used to see if you had your online dating profile up still. Normally I don't check those things because well I just joined to see if yours existed, I have no intention of actually using that site, but today I did. Guess who got matched with me? That's right...you ****ing did! Are you kidding me? Seriously!?!? What does that mean? I mean I don't have a full account so I know it was completely random, but even if it was completely random is that a sign? Am I supposed to hang on just a little longer? I forwarded it to you because it was just to bizarre and I know that you read into signs more than I do. Maybe it'll tell you it's a god damn sign that we are meant to be together. Or maybe you'll just delete it and ignore me some more...like you're good at, at this point.
Pictures, gifts, and memories are almost all boxed away. You really were a great boyfriend....I just wish you would let me love you again and that you'd let yourself love me again. We could be really great if you'd stop causing drama.
Good to see you back DH.
"All is fair in love and war." - Francis Edward Smedley
thanks Cerby.. I think its the medicine that is stabalizing me. but whatever.. i cant stop thinking about her but it wont stop me from living my life, especially because I cant do anything about it.