Date #4 - Is it too soon to sleep with the guy & how you handle a interesting questio

[Juanny30]

Hi:

I feel like living a sex and the city episode...but I seriously would like to read opinions here.

When is okay to have sex with the guy you like? I get all different answers but I have not found a realistic one...my female friends tell me the longer you wait the better, other people say that guys will not hold for long...anyway...

I went out with the guy I like last week and we ended up in his place watching TV but we did something else more...I had a great time...there is a lot of physical attraction between us...but now I am worried. I am worried that he is not going to call because two reasons...

1) I slept with him too soon (4th date - female friends told me to wait like 2 months)
2) He had issues getting "ready" for the action. This one is a very sensitive issue...not sure but he could not get it ready so we try different things but ...it was bad...he told me it was because he ran in the morning and when he works out like it happens...anyway, I tried to make him feel that it was okay....he finally was able to but the action did not last long...so I do not know what to think...so I traveled to Puerto Rico and while I was there, I did not hear from him....so I wonder if he is embarrased and if he is going to call after this incident...who knows....

Guys, any thoughts?

[Paul Cho]

I personally like it when girls sleep with me as soon as possible, once we get that out of the way, I can develop them to what I want. It's a huge hang up and once you get it out of the way, its smooth sailing.




Paul Cho

[funkmasta]

Ok lol. I could be wrong but you may get some dogs responding. I AM NOT ONE OF THEM SO LISTEN CLOSE

So first of all regarding when to sleep with a guy. I will tell you this
If a girl has sex with me too soon I DO NOT LIKE THAT. I used too when I was like 16. But that was when sex was new and number 1. Now that Im older (19) my primary concern is "is she wife material?"
A girl who sleeps with you before really emotionally clicking is NOT wife material and I lose interest. There is no set time lol. Thats just silly. The time is right when it feels right. Trust me you will feel... brace yourself
...AN EMOTIONAL CONNECTION. Yea, its crazy ain't it? A non sexual connection?! But it happens, and when it does, THEN the time is right.

Second of all, regarding the last bit
I know if I was in his position I would make up a story like "I ran thats why" LOLOL!! Thats cracked me up. But what is likely really going on is he likes you, was very nervous, NOT EMOTIONALLY CONNECTED so he
Had a hard time keeping it up and finished quick. Thats what happens to guys when they are really nervous. Trust me. And Im willing to bet he is waiting for you to call him. He "failed" not you. If that happened to me
I would definatly be waiting for her response, not call again to get, "nah u suck in the sack"

[misombra]

He is embarassed that his penis did not work. its better you found this out right away. I do not buy the nervousness argument nor the "it happens when I work out" excuse. Tell him to call you when the viagra kicks in.

[funkmasta]

uhm... its a scientific fact that its physically impossible to get an erection if you are past rational nervousness. Once in the instinct nervousness, the animal that we are but try to deny, its not possible. Its like a dog can't get an erection if he is nervous

[misombra]

Well whatever. I wouldn't date him.

[Juanny30]

Ok, so when guys are nervous?? really?

I know the working out was a lame excuse...I just hope it wasnt because I do not turn him on....

We will see if I hear from him today...

Since you mentioned EMOTIONALLY CONNECTED...what are some signs to know if a guy is emotional connected?

[girl68]

Right time is when you're both hot and horny for each other. Guys who pass judgment on girls who sleep with them "too soon" are in my opinion not worth another roll in the hay, nevermind something more.

[Boisdevie]

Here is my opinion and I'm a 47 year old male.
My current GF had sex with me at her instigation on the second date - and we are still together 9 months later
My previous had sex with me on our second date and we were together for 8 years.
My previous had sex with me on our second date and we were married for 13 years.
The moral of this story - sex is fun and also if you have sex with a guy does not mean that you are loose or 'easy'. That said, I am an a feminist so perhaps that changes things.

[Juanny30]

Boisdevie:

Thanks for sharing your personal experience.

I still believe in love and I still believe that we need to let love happened...the sad part is that I have been played so many times that is not even funny...so I am tired and it is hard to believe in men. I really like this guy but my insecurities and past experiences are telling me that he is another player...I am tired of being all worried about being player, and have all the stress in the world about if I should sleep with him or not, if he is going to call or not...I am exhausted and dating should not be like this...we will see. I have not heard from him since Saturday and I was out of the country so I am hoping that he will make contact with me tomorrow...but we will see...I think after tomorrow the chances of him not to be interested anymore are very high...I am getting mentally prepared...

[IncognitoSir]

Dont try to measure attraction and insticnt like this......3rd date, 2 months, etc. If you guys are really into each other and you send the guy home with blue balls for 2 months of course he'lll see you as a tease. You should sex him up when you're ready to, not when your friends suggest or the lifetime network, or some magazine. His "problems" he had could very well be nervousness.......happens ALL the time to a lot of guys. Could also be low T (testosterone) although he just went running, im sure it can deplete T as well as lifting weights does for sure. That could be a future issue though, might have to address that in the future if you guys continue that is.

[DarkHelmet82]

dont let him pressure you and if he does watch out for the roofie colada... do it when your ready.. simple as taht.

[Nice Lover Boy]

I personally like it when girls sleep with me as soon as possible, once we get that out of the way, I can develop them to what I want. It's a huge hang up and once you get it out of the way, its smooth sailing.




Paul Cho

I like you already! We could be good bros.