He went to a party without me, didn't invite me, I'm angry but do I have a right?

[lisa2011]

Yesterday he went to an all day beach party. When he told me he was going he just said "I'm going to the beach with some friends, see you later." Didn't invite me or anything even though he knew I had no plans and it was a Sunday and I'd be bored. We live in a very small town and basically the only thing going on that day was that beach party. He got back after dark with this huge group of people guys and girls and they were all drunk. I was mad. It seemed like he didn't want me there, that he didn't invite me on purpose. He could have at least said "Come later if you can."

He doesn't seem to think he's in the wrong. He thinks I should have invited myself if I wanted to go. But I think he should have invited me if he wanted me to go with him. It seems obvious to me he didn't want me there!

Am I wrong? Maybe I'm being competely irrational. Thanks for your help!!!!

[lisa2011]

BTW The guy I'm talking about is my boyfriend!

[Horseyguy]

yup you are wrong and needy

[Boisdevie]

If my GF went to a party without inviting me then she would be my ex GF very quick. You have every right to be pissed off. If I'm going to a social occasion I WANT me GF to be there because she's important. I hope you get my message

[Horseyguy]

Gotta love co-dependancy

[iamminzy]

He is not obligated to invite you even though you are his gf. Try to think it in another perspective. It's just like if you go out and hang out with your friends, you may or may not plan on inviting him. I'm not saying you won't invite in, but do you see where this is going?

Sometimes I get upset too when my friends don't invite me, but I don't confront them about it. Sometimes I tell hem hey I wanna go too! That gives them a sign that you want to come along. Last time, my date and I didn't hang out in a while and I just blurted out that I wanted to go to the acquarium too, he planne don going with his friends and I went with them otherwise I wouldn't even have went if I didn't say it in a subtle way. If you want to go, just say it in a subtle way.

For example, if he plans on having another beach party or a house party. Just tell him upfront that you want to go to or tell him hey that sounds like fun, I wanna go too in a subtle way that indicates that you are interested in going.

My ex got mad at me because I did not invite him along with my friends when I went out with them. That does sound a bit needy and a little too much. I mean do I have to invite him to everything? They're my friends and we planned on hanging out as old time buddies. Why does someone who isn't an old time buddy want to hang out with them? I think the important thing is he told you about it. Btw my ex is one of those people who wants attention and likes to hang around people so he can gain people's attention and a bit arrogant. But I don't think you are like that.

Sometimes if people feel like inviting you, they will invite you but sometimes they do not plan on inviting anyone especially if you don't sound interested, they won't even bother.

So don't blame him and you are wrong, but it just that you need to be more assertive this also goes for me too.

[Horseyguy]

If my GF went to a party without inviting me then she would be my ex GF very quick. You have every right to be pissed off. If I'm going to a social occasion I WANT me GF to be there because she's important. I hope you get my message

And I suspect if your GF told you she was going to a party you would have said something if she hadn't invited you.

He told her he was going it's not like he was trying to hide it from her so she can't blame him because she wasn't assertive enough to speak up that's just dumb.

[bulrush]

Lisa2011,
It was rude of your bf not to invite you, but people do have a life away from their gf/bf. Sometimes it's good to do something yourself, as long as there is no flirting or anything going on.

Since my gf lives 6 hours away from me, we only see each other every other weekend. So she goes out with her girl friends (sometimes guy friends) all the time. If I suspect hanky panky, I talk to her about it in a calm rational way. She is a very upfront, honest person and I trust her. If she had a problem with me for some reason, she just wouldn't cheat first, she would talk to me about it. So I trust her. That is how mature people handle issues: they talk about them like a calm adult.

I think I see some trust issues here. Sounds like you don't trust your bf. Do you have a concrete reason not to trust him or is this just generalized anxiety from past boyfriends perhaps?