Originally Posted by
Enchanté
So here's the deal. I've recently been dumped (about a month ago) by my boyfriend of 7 months. We were studying abroad together, and so we basically lived together for the entire academic year, traveled together, spent practically every moment together. He became one of my best friends; he respected me, listened to me, and could be crazy and fun with me. I've never felt so comfortable with someone on so many levels. We could joke around and yet talk about serious issues, and I trusted him completely. He wasn't my first boyfriend, but the first who really treated me right, and who I felt really good about being with. However, he had warned me that he was nervous about the summer because he was a very "out of sight, out of mind" person and it's hard for him to be invested in places he's not. But he never wanted to break up, and he felt that we would be fine. We even bought plane tickets so I could visit him once in the middle of the summer. The first month being apart was fine; we would text every day, skype when we could, things were good. Then into the second month apart he expressed concern that he felt he was being a bad boyfriend because he didn't feel as connected, and he was busy with two jobs and not able to talk all the time. It made me nervous and I recognized that it was possible that we wouldn't make it through the summer. But because that terrified me I let it go. Then about two weeks later he broke up with me saying he knew how to make the relationship work, he just didn't want to. That he knew what it felt like to be head over heels for someone, and he just wasn't feeling it.
Well that sucked. I mean I can't argue with that--if he doesn't think its worth it then that's outside of my control. But now I keep second-guessing myself wondering if it was just the distance that did it, since we were amazing when we were together. I can't seem to turn off the possibility in my head that when he sees me again, and hangs out with me again, he'll change his mind. But deep down, I know that's highly unlikely. I know him better than that--when it's time for him to move on, he does, and it doesn't take him long. But I know that for every moment we were actually together he was head over heels for me, he did think it was worth it. He would tell me, and he would mean it. But people change, and feelings change. But is it crazy for me to think that he may change his mind? That the next time I see him in a couple of months, he’ll realize he made a mistake? Now I just want to move on and not think about him ever. but I can't. I want to still talk to him, check up on his facebook, know what he's doing. But that makes everything worse. I want so badly for him to change his mind, but I know he won't. How do I get over this, when I was never ready for it to end and I still don't think it should have?