I do understand why women are attracted to ghetto stereotypical black men. These men represent many of the core values of being an attractive man. There are seen as bad boys so that doesn’t need any explanation. They are seen as men who can protect themselves thus being able to protect others. Their culture is seen as hyper masculinity because they display a lot of masculinity beyond the normal amount of masculinity many cultures display.
In the black community it is not very acceptable for a black man to reject the stereotypical ghetto culture. They are seen as self-haters and sellouts. Black women who are ghetto and black women who are non-ghetto desire a ghetto black man. Dating a non-ghetto black is neither desired nor acceptable.
Things don’t get much better outside of the black community. There are three types of white women. There are ones who are not attracted to black men. The second type is looking for a ghetto black man. The third type is looking for a non-ghetto black man. Of the three the first and second types of white women are much more common than the third. So far I’ve only met 2 or 3 white women who are attracted to non-ghetto black men.
Non-ghetto black men are instantly labeled as being nerds and nice guys. They are seen as weak men. That is not always the case. I’ve seen black men who lived interesting non-ghetto lives are labeled as nerds and nice guys. There is plenty of ways acting like a man instead of a nice boy without being ghetto. If a white man acts a certain way that is considered a bad boy, and then a non-ghetto black man acts the same way, he is seen as a weak nice guy. I live in the south. There are some successful black country singers and women find them to be unattractive. Some ghetto blacks make comments that these black country singers don’t want to be black. NBA Hall of Famer Karl Malone is seen as an uncle tom by many blacks for not being ghetto on and off the court. I remember as a little kid watching the Jazz and the Bulls play in the Finals, almost every black person in the room watching the game called Karl Malone an uncle tom. The Uncle Tom comments briefly stopped when the played for the Lakers because he was playing with Kobe and Shaq.
I've also seen punk rock black men seen as unattractive as well and seen as nerds. While a white guy can live the punk rock lifestyle and will be seen as interesting.
It's like black men are almost forced to live a lifestyle in order to have a chance of being attractive.
Please don't mention Will Smith and Jamie Fox. They are celebrities thus they can break the norms because of their social status.