He is not calling back...I know this is so typical....

[Juanny30]

Girls.

I am sure some of you have experienced the feeling of liking a guy and after 4 dates...then he stopped calling...I know that the meaning is that he is not into me, but it hurst so much...this is getting old...

I want to ask all the girls, what do you do to deal with this feeling? I was so excited, I told there was chemistry, he said he cared about me, he said he liked me, he even talked about doing future things like going out to Puerto Rico in August, etc... so it does hurt....and bad...

I need help...at least I need to read how others deal with this...

Tired...

[DarkHelmet82]

how long has it been since you talked? Maybe hes busy or hes playing games... DONT ASSUME

[Wakeup]

As hard as it is, I think you need to stop appearing so desperate. It's only been 4 dates and really all you should be feeling right now is some disappointment. Why are you so upset?

[pisces25]

Have you tried to call him?

[Juanny30]

Wake up:
I know you are right. I have been through so many stories like this that myself esteem has been damaged bad...I am dissapointed but at the same becuase it happens all the time, I feel so down about myself...as I keep being all excited about a guy and then nothing happens...I feel something is wrong with me and I know it is...just need to let it go...it is hard. Thank you for reading and for your opinions...I keep hoping to meet the right guy ....

DarkHelmet82:
The last time I heard from him was Saturday...yeah, he could be busy with school... but not only a text? really? or you mentioned PLAYING Games...so what is the game? can you explain cause I do not get it...

Pisces25:
I have not the courage to call him as if he does not answer or call back it is going to be painful...do not want to look desperate...

[Wakeup]

have not the courage to call him as if he does not answer or call back it is going to be painful...do not want to look desperate...

Has he been doing all the texting and calling first and making all the arrangements to meet? If he has, then perhaps it's your turn to do some inviting (and paying for the date too).

Don't be silly either, you need to look out for your own emotional best interests and finding out the truth is what you need to do so that you are'nt sitting there in angst and self-loathing. Call him (don't text) invite him to do something (your treat). If he doesn't answer (leave a voice mail) and if doesn't call you back then you can Next the fool and on to the next adventure in dating.

Where are you meeting these men?

[MerryH]

The last time I heard from him was Saturday

Saturday!? That's nothing. Have a little more patience. He probably is trying not to look desperate, just like you are. And I think you're being too demanding, as well. Four dates is still a very new relationship. He doesn't need to call/text you every day or be the only one who initiates contact. You can put some effort in, too.

[Juanny30]

Wake up:
Yes, he has initiated all the first contacts. The last time we met we had a great time and we had sex...and it was a little akward as he has problems getting "ready" but I did make sure he knew I understood it happens and that I still really liked him... I guess I just need to overcome my trauma of being scared of make the first contact...and just do it... I am meeting these men online and through friends... I guess just need to find another way to meet new people.

MerryH:
Patience...yes, and thanks for your perspective...it is just that I am used to men doing this...

I am going to call today after work and see what happens...I just hope I do not get hurt again. I guess I am just too demanding as I really liked him....

Thanks

[The Gent]

Hey Juanny. Don't fret too much, this Romeo sounds like he wants you to make the next move. I know I love when a girl gets in touch first. Text/Call/Leave a voicemail/Facebook message him.....maybe not all at once, but definitely all in the same day (We all know how unreliable technology can be!)
Once he sees that you're serious about him, you'll get all the attention you need

[Juanny30]

The Gent:

I hope you are right, I just texted him saying "Hi, I hope you are doing good". I am hoping that you were right cause I do not want to bother him if he does not want to contact me anymore...

But oh well, I think I will be able to get an answer very soon to my question, if he is not in to me, obviously he is not going to answer, if he is, he will...so we will see...

[unknown88]

I'm not female but I wanted to add a little guy perspective here, just because he didn't call you back after 4 dates doesn't necessarily mean he lost interest, is his life quite busy? Maybe he's scared of getting too close...send him a text asking how he is. If he can't even give you a reply to this then pfft...it's his own god damn loss. It can hurt to not know why people wasn't interested in you but most of the time it could simply be that you're not compatible and he could feel bad that you like him while he noticed this and doesn't know how to tell you, end of the day anyone with balls and who was a real man who had 4 dates with a girl would tell them they don't think it will work out and why, thats my 2 cents.

*edit* oops just seen your last message above this after i posted hahaha, my bad guess i should start reading the whole topics not just the original post lol!

[Juanny30]

It is great to use this forum to get different perspectives...

He did answer my text but I got short answers, like "I am good", etc so following advice from all and not my silly head...I sent a message saying "I am done with my traveling now so call me if you want to do something". He just replied "Sounds good". I did my part, I looked for me (as scared as I was I did it) and I made it clear that I am interested in him..." so now the ball is with him...so not sure if this was helpful though as I am still on the same road...I do not know anything, he might have replied just because to be nice...and I will not hear from him...who knows...the thing that confuses me is that he is used to flirt and to send cute messages...like "good morning beautiful", "I am thinking about you", etc....and I guess that is why this changed hurts me....the last email he sent me on Saturday he was still kinda flirting...but today...he only used short answers...this makes me feel so akward and makes me feel he is not interested in the same way...
I decided just to wait and I want to try to delete the memories of the time we had together because when I think about it and then I compare how he is behaiving now...it does hurt...if he cares about me like he said, I am hoping that he will call me and/or hopefully he will have the courage to tell me this is not working...we will see

"

[VincenzoG91]

January 30,

This thread reminds me of a line from an old episode of Friends. Joey was talking about how he didn't want to date this girl anymore but he wanted to let her down easy. Rachel snapped, "Oh, be a man. Just stop calling her." In real life, Jennifer Aniston has probably had some experience with that.

[iamminzy]

this situation happen to me too. I dated this guy online on Jan 1 and in late march. he played me. he told me he wanted to see me so we planned to go out on friday night and then early morning he canceled and then later on he said i'm coming back, and I was like wtf? At this time, I was already at my friends house doing something and I told my friends I'm going out with him and they heard me getting angry on the phone. And i said w/e bye. Then later that night, after not hearing from him I tried to call him after talking to my friends and he never picked up my phone calls. So i assumed he was asleep. I didn't leave a voicemail. Then I tried to call him 2 more times on saturday afternoon because that was day we planned to do something. He didn't call me back. Everything slightly went downhill from then on. I kinda lost my trust in him and became more insecure. I even cried because it hurt that a guy was playing with my heart like that. I finally messaged him on facebook late at night on saturday telling him about my feelings and that its not mature to not call someone or leave a text or message or anything. I ranted on facebook haha because I was furious. He saw my facebook message and rant on facebook.

He aimed me when I was at starbucks on a date with a guy who my friend was friends with because I felt sad and needed someone to comfort me, not that I was trying to be a player or anything. He called me later on and explained the situation that he ignored me because he was busy. And I told him, you could have called or said something, even one little short text would do it. He also said he spent the time thinking about our relationship whether I wanted to move in with him and get married n have children. I think he is insecured about that because he was in a relationship with his ex for 4 years and he found out she didn't want children. He apologized and said that it was his fault that he was wrong.

But anyways, I forgave him. Couple weeks later he went to hawaii for vacation and when he came back, I slightly ignored him. Ignored his calls and aim message and facebook message. To give him the feeling of being ignored and give him his own taste of medicine. if you want to be serious in a relationship, it's wrong to ignore someone. I took the initation to rant on facebook about this guy not saying his name. I don't know if I should have done that or not, but it shows that guys can't mess with me and I am not that fragile. It showned that I wasn't desperate and that if you do something to hurt me, get ready for karma haha... cuz he aint the only guy in this world, there are plently. he found out i went out with another guy though, but I said i needed someone to comfort me and he was there for me. When we have problems with guys, we go out with guys to find out more about what guys are like cuz they known more about them.

Though I wasn't desperate, but I was heartbroken and was sad though...

[Cerby]

...But anyways, I forgave him. Couple weeks later he went to hawaii for vacation and when he came back, I slightly ignored him. Ignored his calls and aim message and facebook message. To give him the feeling of being ignored and give him his own taste of medicine. if you want to be serious in a relationship, it's wrong to ignore someone. I took the initation to rant on facebook about this guy not saying his name. I don't know if I should have done that or not, but it shows that guys can't mess with me and I am not that fragile. It showned that I wasn't desperate and that if you do something to hurt me, get ready for karma haha... cuz he aint the only guy in this world, there are plently. he found out i went out with another guy though, but I said i needed someone to comfort me and he was there for me. When we have problems with guys, we go out with guys to find out more about what guys are like cuz they known more about them.

Though I wasn't desperate, but I was heartbroken and was sad though...

Shouldn't have been heartbroken and sad, you were the one who bungled that up, Ignored him, ranted on Facebook. It doesn't show you're not fragile, it shows you have some emotional issues to overcome. You sound confident that you showed him, but in reality once you started ignoring him as a "taste of my own medecine" He would be done with you.