My Girlfriend googled for "cheating on bf not feeling guilty".

[Simsala]

Hi there,

I am freaking out and don't know what to do.

Im 27, my girlfriend 25. We have been together for a year now, and have a very good relationship. Talk about almost everything. We have an active sex life, at least sex once a day, sometimes even more but often she tells me I am too much for her and she can't have that much sex, so I am trying to control myself. Just a week ago, she asked me if I want to go back to her country in october to meet her parents and family. She always tells me how much she loves me and never felt like this about anyone and sees a real future with me. So yes, I'm guessing those things point to a good healthy relationship.

Over the past few weeks my girlfriend has been very addicted to Facebook, she would always chat with people on facebook, and when I would look on her screen, she would quickly switch tabs so I wouldn't know that she's on facebook. Obviously I saw it, I even saw that she was chatting to guys. I would often see her looking at photos of other guys on facebook.
Especially in the past week, she always tabbed out of the window when I would walk in on her, so that did make me feel a bit... well weird.
However I am not the jealous guy at all. Who knows, they might be gay friends of her, or old buddies etc. Plus if she feels looking at other guys... well I think at one point we all check out other people without actually having "cheating thoughts".
I trust her 100% and also never felt like I should ask her who those guys are since that might come across that she has to explain her self. We both have our own laptops, but I have a MacBook and she has a Windows laptops, and sometimes I ask her I could use her laptop because I need to run Windows program. She even told me her password so I could use her laptop.
Although when I use her laptop, she often forgets to close the window she used last (facebook) nor does she logout of facebook, but I would never consider logging into her facebook account to check her messages nor even read anything. I simply dont do that, I respect her privacy. Same with her, she borrowed my laptop now and then and she would never go through my stuff, she respects me as well.
So yes, we are not hiding anything from each other, that's at least what I thought.

Today when I was on her laptop, I was googling for "cheap holidays" and I got a shock! When I started typing in "chea..." the browser shows up the history of related keywords and what popped up was "cheating on bf not feeling guilty"! I know she had to type that in recently, probably within the last 2-3 weeks, because she asked me to install a plugin for her browser which lead to deleting all the history.

I felt so sick I had to throw up My girlfriend is since yesterday on holidays with a female friend of hers. They are backpacking for 5 days.

So I really don't know what to do. I dont want to ask her on the phone about this, but waiting until next monday drives me insane. I already have really jealous thoughts. I feel really insecure at the moment. All those moments where she was hiding facebook now made me think what if there was something. And that facebook hiding thing only stated a few weeks ago. What if she has an affair? But then why would she ask me to meet her parents only a week ago? And aren't affairs to have sex? And yet she says I am too much for her.

Someone please give me advice.

[DarkHelmet82]

thats a feature of google.. you can check out her hitoru by going in to the menu of the browser your using.... although i just tried it and got cheap flights and shit like that.....

[DarkHelmet82]

always listen to your gut though.. never lies.... ask her abour it

[Simsala]

I am a web developer. I am very familar with browser features. that keyword was typed in from her laptop and is not a google suggestion, it's from the history of typed in keywords.
I also know her browser has deleted her history about 3 weeks ago when she asked me to installed a browser plugin for her.

I am trying to think so hard why she would google for something like that a few weeks ago and then last week ask me to finally meet her parents.

[DarkHelmet82]

well then shes a cheating whore... does anyone else use the laptop? maybe one of her skanky friends?

[maxmax]

One thing is for certain: you have to confront her about it.

[IncognitoSir]

wow, that's a tough cookie. You could sit her next to you while you're google and begin to type in cheap flights and just be like" what is this!, cheating on boyfriend etc etc....." and let her explain it to you lol. Really not funny, it's not like you were snooping at all but damn. That's definitely a red flag. I hope she doesn't have some lame excuse like, she was looking for information for a friend or some crap like that. I think you should wait to do it in person though, don't mention it until she gets back. Confront her in person about it and let her explain it to you. stay calm and pay attention to her facial expressions and body language as she responds to you. If she is indeed cheating on you and doesn't feel guilty about it, it means her countenance is lacking and she could flat out lie on the phone about it and you wouldn't be able to tell the difference. Sounds like something is definitely up though.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I say you call her right now and break up with her. Ruin her trip like she ruined the relationship. It actually might not even ruin the trip since she doesn't feel bad about it, but I think you should do it anyway. You know she's ****ing someone else; you can try to rationalize it away as something else all day long, but in the end there is only one explanation of how that string of words got entered onto her machine.

[curiousgurl29]

I would talk to her about it before doing anything else!

[Junket]

I can't wait to find out how this ends!

[Simsala]

It's almost 4am now and it has been almost 12 hours since I found out, and yet I still feel physically sick, like I have to throw up. I'm shaking as well, not funny at all.

There is no way I would just want to break up with her, I love her too much. It's actually very complicated. I'll try to sum up and leave out a few details to make it less complicated and shorter, but this is roughly the main story.

At the end of 2009 I decided I want to move to Canada. So I applied for a visa and after 6 months of paper work I finally got my visa, which is valid from January 2011 on.

Just in the summer of 2010 after my application got accepted, I decided to sell all my belongings - furniture, tv, computer, all my gadgets etc - basically sold everything I ever worked for, so I could start a new life in Canada. I also moved out of my apartment into a shared house to save money.

That's where I met her. First it was just getting along very well, then one thing lead to another and we started having sex. Because we both knew I would leave at the beginning of 2011, we said were not gonna make it complicated. But what do you know, we started falling in love! But neither of us wanted to tell the other how we really felt. It takes a lot for me to actually fall in love. I am 27 years old and have been in a few relationships before, but never EVER did I have such strong feelings about anyone, it made me actually question if I have actually really loved my previous partners because the love I am sharing with her now is so intense. So yes, it's not just a fling, I'm very aware of my feelings.
But then 2 weeks before I left for Canada, she told me she loves me and I told her as well. We were both so happy! But then I had to make the though call and decided to move to Canada. Why? Well, I sold all my belongings, I went through 6 months of paper work to get the visa. Visa, flights, travel insurance, health insurance etc. cost me several 1000 euro all together. Plus I had just quit my job before christmas.

So I left and I did not feel well. We said we shouldnt contact each other, just to make it easier. After 1 week in Vancouver I had to call her, and she screamed on the phone thats how happy she was.
We emailed and talked on the phone for 2 months and then I decided I will go back to Europe to her, simply because I have never felt like that before and as I said, it takes a lot for me to actually get such a deep connection to anyone and love should come above everything else. So I went back to Europe in March, giving up on my Dream of living in Canada, although I loved every single second I was in Vancouver.



I moved back into the house with her, and we have had the best time together since then. Although I really don't like the country we're currently in, I am putting up with it for her. She also doesn't like the country, so we decided to move to Canada together, but that wont happen for another year. The only thing that keeps me here is knowing that in a years time we will leave here together to go to Canada.

But then today, when I found out she was googling for "cheating on bf not feeling guilty".

Something is just not right, that's not like her!

I decided not to call her about and wait until monday when she is back from her trip. I just need to focus on something else, or it's driving me insane over the next 4 days.


Edit:
Okay, my insanity is taking over. I opened up her laptop and checked some history.
To my surprise I saw that she was on many porn sites a lot, and the even bigger surprise is that movies she was into was
"orgies"
"threesome with 2 guys"
"guy ****s girl while boyfriend watches"
"boyfriend sells girlfriend"

I looked at those movies and they all seem to be orgies where a girl gets ****ed by several guys, or the boyfriend sits there and watches his girlfriend getting ****ed?!?!

Okay... erm... what?
Okay.... positive thinking here!
Maybe my girlfriend simply has fantasies about a threesome with another guy, or even an orgy and she feels weird that she doesn't feel guilty about it, so she googled for "cheating on bf not feeling guilty".

On the other hand, maybe she was in an orgy a few weeks ago and doesn't regret it and is really turned on since then.

I don't know what to think. All I know is that I feel so insecure that I actually went against my believes of respecting each others privacy and looked up her browser history.

My mind thinks all sorts of stuff at the moment Someone please calm me down.

[tremolo]

Ok - let's just give her the benefit of the doubt for a second. I know I personally google weird things sometimes just because I'm curious about stuff. Maybe a friend of mine is going through something, or maybe a thought crosses my mind that intrigues me. I've googled all manner of really sketchy sounding things just to gain information. If you checked my browsing history, you might be really shocked - but I'm a totally normal person, never cheat on my boyfriends, have no perversions, etc. That said - I don't think I've ever googled anything about cheating - except how to know if someone's cheating on you.

Then again, that all sounds enormously sketchy. You definitely need to talk to her, and I think Incognito's suggestion is a good one, as far as how to play it.

I hope she's not the cheater you imagine her to be. Let us know what happens...

[OmnicronPercei8]

When you talk to her, provided she doesn't come out the flat out truth that she has in fact cheated on you, you'll never truly KNOW and always suspect. The line of trust has been broken to an extent and you're going to always be wary of whenever she goes out with friends, or basically anywhere out of sight from you. Tremolo is correct that people google some messed up crap (I googled How does Lion Taste the other day - I don't really want to know!) but that just sounds like some shady shit. I mean with a count of hands who would google THAT? No one here!

Best of luck to you in your situation.

[pisces25]

I googled How does Lion Taste the other day - I don't really want to know!

hahahaha just out of curiosity what was the answer?

Back to OP.. Maybe ask her how she feels about orgies/threesomes and if she'd ever be interested or fantasized about one? See if she lies about it?

[IncognitoSir]

The whole porn thing changes what I said originally. Women usually watch porn that interest them, that they like and are into. Unlike a guy who might get off to damn near any kind of off the wall fetish crap. That being said, she watched orgy porn and "boyfriend watches gf get ****ed" porn because she has a interest in that. Now I find it hard to believe you've dated her this long and never knew or realized she was into orgies or getting ****ed by another man while you watch. She's not the girl you thought she was, and not because of the porn, but because of all this in combination together. Crazy how something this small changes everything that you've known.......I feel sorry for you man, because this bitch is doing you dirty.