Some people are drains and some are radiators... Keep clear of the drains and hug the radiators!
2 weeks and one day.
The pain has only gotten worse.
I have blocked her on facebook, And had my number changed.
I bet shes out there having the time of her life, Whilst im sat inside, Suffering in my own self pitty. How i hate life right now, I can't even move on and get back into a job.
I could just break down right now, The pain is so raw. Must stay strong i guess, God knows how long this will take me to recover from.
You can't my friend. It is out of your control. Accepting that will make things slightly easier.
Some people are drains and some are radiators... Keep clear of the drains and hug the radiators!
Hard not to break NC when I have to keep asking for my stuff back!
I'm going to try hard. Had nc for 5 days after the breakup. Got drunk Thursday and texted. Drunk texted Friday during the day, and had a total break down friday night. Drove to her apt at 5 30 am and left a note. Plan was to wake her up, but her best friend was staying with her. Exchanged texts saturday. She basically said she doesn't regret spending all that time with me, but wasn't happy for a month because I wasn't motivated. I'm going through a depression because I just graduated college and I'm not sure what I want out of life. Go to grad school or get a job. She wanted me to get a job and propose asap. Conversation ended ok, but I started drinking after and sent a hateful text for leaving me when I'm already down. She replied and said to leave her alone, nothing I say phases her, and she doesn't care at all. Didn't text sat night, but did Sunday afternoon. No reply.
Now I'm just thinking about all the messed up shit she has done to me, and how she hurt me so many times.
Hopefully second week and on will be easier.
Oh god, I am so in need of this.
I have just returned home from a farewell meal with my ex. It did not go as I had planned it in my head. It was absolutely awful, the most heartbreaking and difficult thing I have ever had to do. I had to sit with the love of my life while he made it perfectly clear that he was in love with someone new. It took absolutely everything in me not to burst into tears right there and then. It was supposed to be a good thing, we were supposed to be friends. 2 years of so, so much, I can't not have him in my life. But I tried tonight, I tried so damn hard and no matter what happens I am proud of myself for giving it a go. At least I can say no regrets in that situation.
I said the hardest goodbye, I breathed in his smell for the last time and I let my heart crash back down on the floor. It was horrible, I'm shaking so much, but it's over. There is my closure.
But yes, NC starts here. I cannot do this to myself again, I am broken.
If anyone, anyone is considering meeting their ex like this please please don't. Tonight has been genuinely the most heartbreaking night of my life, all at once I've taken 10 steps back and I'm right back where I was at the start when this shitty situation first came to light. I have no idea what I had hoped for or what I was expecting but this was not it. Don't do this to yourself, please.
Oh bollocks back to day one again.
Got a text from my ex last night saying her Nan was in hospital and stupidly I responded.
After that she obviously had trouble sleeping because she decided to send me a text at 3am which I guess was her way of saying she was awake so I can be awake too
Didn't work though as the phone was on mute so I didn't get the message until I woke up
Kicking myself now for making contact in the first place
Not a heavy sigh, but the end of day four and all in all I had a good day doing things that filled my time and thoughts away from my ex. While watching fireworks, I wished she was in my arms, but I also realized this morning that will never happen again and pushed the thoughts away. I've been replaced by someone she thought was better for her than me, and if that's true, I never want to play second fiddle to that (even though really he is). I had my shot, it didn't work and I'm accepting that and moving on.
Edit - At some point during this challenge, if I don't backslide, I plan on putting all her pictures, emails, and chat logs on a disk along with her cards and letters she had written me and put them in a shoebox that will go out in the garage (last cleaned sometime Spring 2010).
Last edited by OmnicronPercei8; 05-07-11 at 12:55 PM.
oh fark me, back to day one again even though I was at day one to start with
another text flurry, better this time though. Left it on really good terms, managed to agree to just leave it as it is and move on with our lives.
She was trying to leave the door slightly ajar but I kept nudging it shut again.
I feel like I got the closure I was looking for which is good.
Day 1, but I'm over it after 3 weeks of NC. Met her for a coffee and a walk, didn't talk about us at all, just a pleasant discussion about life.
I never thought I would be here, but I'm happy to be moving on, and I actually don't mind that we talked for a couple of hours yesterday, if anything it put me in a better place after a bad breakup.
And believe it or not, you'll all get here too.
"All is fair in love and war." - Francis Edward Smedley
Held strong with NC rest of Sunday and all through July 4th. Woke up thinking about her. Having anxiety attacks right now. Lacking sleep and not eating much at all.
Had a very cute girl interested in me Sunday night. She slept next to me, I could not sleep and did not try anything. I am just not ready.
I need to find happiness being single again and get my life back on track.