Lack of sex in a relationship - is it cause for concern

[LOVE_CONFUSED]

Ok, so without boring you to death I'll give you as much info as I can without going on and on.

My fiance and I have only been together for 18 months, we've had alot of stress and upset from my family as they were not happy when I ended my previous relationship and have never been interested in my life with my now fiance. Basically, I have very little contact with my family due to a number of things that have happened.

Every now and then however, they raise their ugly little heads and start causing stress in my life as families do. I can handle stress from this as they've hurt me so much now i feel like I've got no more fight left in me where they are concerend. My partner on the otherhand does not handle stress very well.

We've been intimate once in the past month, I worry that he is going off me sexually. I know he's not cheating on me or anything like that because we are at home together each evening and we go out together etc. We've been distance from each other over the last couple of weeks, a slight part of it is down to me have a cold sore on my lip which has caused us to be even more distant as he doesnt want to kiss me because of it and I havent either. We've felt like miles apart over the last week or so.
I briefly spoke to him about the lack of closeness over the weekend and he said sex wasnt everything, this I know but I dont think I'm wrong for wanting it with him.
He tells me how much he loves me and I dont doubt it but I'm worried about our sex life.

[lahnnabell]

Every couples go through ruts like this. You can either acknowledge it for what it is and work together on riding it out, or you can keeping waiting for the other person to do something about it. Either way, if you both aren't on the same page, it's time to call it quits.

[LOVE_CONFUSED]

Of course I dont want to call it quits, neither does he. Its just a difficult patch which I've never experienced before.

[lahnnabell]

You need to have an honest heart-to-heart then and lay it all out. Tell him it's not just about the sex, but about you feeling connected to him because he's your partner. And I get that you don't want to call it quits, but sometimes that stems from fear of giving up being comfortable more than the desire to stick it out when the going gets tough. You need to be honest with yourself about where this is headed.

[pisces25]

The emotional distance between you would certainly be creating a gulf and making him less likely to want sex. We often want our partners when we are feeling relaxed and have a close emotional connection. Sounds like the stress may be getting to him or this could just be an excuse.

However I always get concerned when someone sex isn't everything. It isn't however talking about it is. All relationships will go through peaks and troughs with sex, and if one partner is worried that it has died off there needs to be a reason why. It could be that he is stressed or it could be something else. It may return to normal once the stress dissipates but if it was me I would want to dig a little deeper just to make sure he wasn't going off sex altogether or there was some deeper reason for his lack of interest.

You have every right to want a healthy functioning sex-life and yes it is a cause for concern when relationships go a long time without it (unless it was normal for long periods of abstinence in the relationship). I just got out of an otherwise perfect relationship as we weren't sexually compatible. I tried to everything to keep the relationship alive but the issue was too big and kept rearing its ugly head.

If you are worried you need to address it with him and get some answers. Otherwise just leave it a big longer. His drive might return naturally. If not then you can ask questions.

[smackie9]

Look , if you really want this to work for you, you need to talk to him about it. Communication is absolutely vital in order for a relationship/marriage to survive. Speaking briefly to him about it ain't gonna do it, right? Coming on here isn't really a solution, because we don't know you or your fiance, and we can only guess, like what you are doing.....that's only going to cause more anxiety instead of dealing with him directly. Don't accept his lame ass answers, talk to him again.

[Boisdevie]

A diffcult patch? My arse. You guys have had sex once in a month - that means something is very very wrong and what is this shite about a cold sore? That is just a lame excuse. It sounds to me like your relationship is going down the pan.

[LOVE_CONFUSED]

The thing is on a day to day basis we are a happy functioning couple, its when things with my family resurface every now and then it stresses him out and annoys him alot more than it does me. To say he's had it easy is an understatement and families have stuck their noses in to his previous relationship too which ruined it.

It just so happens that with our work patterns we havent had much us time to do these things. I'm not asking for negative feedback which hints that my relationship is slowly running out of steam, I'm asking for advice on if this can happen and hopefully how to get things back on track.

[Dependable]

BLOW JOBS, lots of BLOW JOBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it will help

[Wakeup]

Stress and a cold sore. Not the best conducive to being horny, IMHO. Why don't you wait until you're sore free and then seduce him? I'm sure you remember how that went... think back to when you were first starting to date.. then do now what you did then.

*BLOW JOBS, lots of BLOW JOBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it will help

Sarcasm or not, that's Not the best thing to be doing when she has a cold sore.