How to stay busy?

[Renwo]

I know when I'm busy doing something, I think about my ex a lot less. I'm fresh out of college and currently unemployed. When I was in school, I could always keep busy with course work.

I already went to the gym and lifted weights, then walked 3 miles. Which made me feel a lot better.

I've been working on a short story about our relationship from beginning to the end, writing about all the good and the bad (mostly the bad). I'm very close to finishing it, but I can't bring myself to finish the last few months in the timeline. It just hurts too much.

I live in a rather small town, so there is not much to do. I'm thinking about buying a guitar and learning how to play to pass the time.

Anyone have any ideas?

[OmnicronPercei8]

Today I've done laundry, cleaned my bedroom from top to bottom, went to the gym (where I met a new cutie), went to the grocery store, mowed my grass, and am about to do some studying. I also need to clean my kitchen, living room, and bathrooms. I can wash my car and detail it. I too am looking for a new job, so I need to do that as well as look up some volunteer activities in my area ( [url=http://www.volunteermatch.org]VolunteerMatch - Where Volunteering Begins[/url] ). Finally I want to write some in my journal (a powerful tool that's helped me quite a bit through this) and put some lyrics down on paper of a song I've been writing.

Of course, I don't plan on accomplishing all of this today, but I keep a running list of stuff I should be doing and as long as there is stuff to do and I'm on my feet, I don't think about my ex as much. Well, I do but it's fleeting.

[VincenzoG91]

Adopt a pet.

[Cerby]

Why are you writing a story about your relationship? I can't see that being at all positive to your healing, writing down all the memories you have.

Do what you're doing, and write less about your relationship

[Warhawk]

If you really like music, I'd say pick up the guitar if you never have before. It may be frustrating to learn at first, but if you work at it anyone can learn it. Once you get pretty good at it, you can write your own music. Emotion plays a big part in the beauty of music, its rough to say but when you are depressed that's when you are most creative, or you create something that really means something to you. When you create something really beautiful and meaningful, it makes you feel better about your self. Well at least for me.

Hope that helps!

[DarkHelmet82]

If you really like music, I'd say pick up the guitar if you never have before. It may be frustrating to learn at first, but if you work at it anyone can learn it. Once you get pretty good at it, you can write your own music. Emotion plays a big part in the beauty of music, its rough to say but when you are depressed that's when you are most creative, or you create something that really means something to you. When you create something really beautiful and meaningful, it makes you feel better about your self. Well at least for me.

Hope that helps!

Thats what i did and I wound up making songs for my ex... didnt work out as planned.. but did help lol

[Warhawk]

Thats what i did and I wound up making songs for my ex... didnt work out as planned.. but did help lol

Haha. My ex and I went through a rough patch before and I wrote her a song. I never wrote lyrics before but I did for her, and it just all worked out somehow. Anyways, I'd sing it to her when we were going to sleep or just to be cute. One time we were both coming home from a night out, we were cuddling in bed falling asleep, and we were both singing the song I made for her, I'd use her name, and she would use my name. It was something so special that I have never shared with anyone and she has never done the same. Just sucks that you have moments like that and they make you feel on top of the world, then next thing you know your girlfriend wants to break up.

[Poodle3]

I have been doing more mountain biking recently, and dusted off my decks and loads of other music gear.. And taking a lot of nature photos. And I've set up the drumkit that got banished to the loft, and I've dug out loads of old computer games. Sitting up in your pants playing Streetfighter 2 and cranking out techno at 3am helps chase away the blues. I'm studying for a degree alongside a full time job, so I don't have as much free time as I'd like, but it all gets filled. Guitar is a good idea.

Check this out - Yesterday I brought a petrol remote control car, it is a beast, it goes about 60 mph.. I am rubbish at driving it though, I have crashed it into the side of a barn already, but she still lives on.

Spend your time doing things you probably aren't allowed to do if you are living with a woman, because soon enough you probably will be, and they make you turn down the music at midnight and get angry if you embark on a 24hrs herb fueled gameboy marathon.

[OmnicronPercei8]

I think this can be sound advice, but it's not for everyone. Do all the things only a bachelor's life allows because when you're with someone else, things like being able to pull an all-night video game session or whatever it is you like gets replaced by having to wake up early to do whatever plans she has lined up!

Personally I don't do so much of my old life stuff anymore. Before I met my ex, I would do that kind of crap and sit and pray that I could meet someone that I could fall for because I'd done the bachelor's life for long enough and was tired of all of that. I'd rather grow from my loss and become a new man than go back to old tricks.

[OmnicronPercei8]

Why are you writing a story about your relationship? I can't see that being at all positive to your healing, writing down all the memories you have.

Do what you're doing, and write less about your relationship

I thought it was beneficial to me to write about my adjustment during this time of personal crisis. I had dated a girl years ago that I thought that I loved (was merely infatuated with though) and came across an old journal that I had started. It didn't have everything in it, just the first time she really messed me up. It was nice to go back and re-read through that and laugh, and remember how much better off I was without her. I'm hoping that X amount of time in the future, I'll be able to do the same regarding my most recent Ex.

[Renwo]

I ended up buying a guitar, and obtained dvd lessons for first time beginners. My fingertips on my left hand are killing me right now. Hopefully they will feel better tomorrow.

Far as the short story is concerned. It has helped me because I was writing all the negatives and the hurt I was put through in the relationship which reminds me that I have to let this person go, and not to give in just in case she decides to beg me back like she has done many times in the past. The story is at 8500 words at the moment. I will finish it and hopefully share it with complete strangers for critique.

[DannyH]

I think this can be sound advice, but it's not for everyone. Do all the things only a bachelor's life allows because when you're with someone else, things like being able to pull an all-night video game session or whatever it is you like gets replaced by having to wake up early to do whatever plans she has lined up!

Personally I don't do so much of my old life stuff anymore. Before I met my ex, I would do that kind of crap and sit and pray that I could meet someone that I could fall for because I'd done the bachelor's life for long enough and was tired of all of that. I'd rather grow from my loss and become a new man than go back to old tricks.

...... really couldn't do an all night video game session?!?
! I wrote it all out too just to make sure I was remembering it all straight making sure the bad was the bad and that it wasn't all good. Enjoy the guitar really learning to play and write songs is soo much fun esp when you find places to play at. Me I do the guitar and walks with music, mma classes, and anything that involves shooting stuff.

[OmnicronPercei8]

Actually I had a really, really cool chick. There were several times we did do all night video game sessions (Rock Band) at least until we were both too drunk to sing good or play the drums or guitar haha! I found the perfect girl and if she said we needed to get up early to do something and needed to be in bed by 12 we were typically still up having fun at 2 am. It sucks to let all that go, but then again I wasn't really the one to let all that go. Nothing left to do but face the facts.

[DannyH]

dear god drunken rock band....never ever good comes from that... wait no youtube videos

[DarkHelmet82]

Actually I had a really, really cool chick. There were several times we did do all night video game sessions (Rock Band) at least until we were both too drunk to sing good or play the drums or guitar haha! I found the perfect girl and if she said we needed to get up early to do something and needed to be in bed by 12 we were typically still up having fun at 2 am. It sucks to let all that go, but then again I wasn't really the one to let all that go. Nothing left to do but face the facts.

My ex was the same way.. except it was call of duty... o well