The July NC Challenge

[senokotmax]

I broke NC today too. I've totally failed this challenge.

Been having anxiety sessions all day at work and just needed to contact her. She keeps ignoring my texts and calls!! Drives me mental.

[DarkHelmet82]

im doing well so far

[Emmalina]

Day 1 ...
It's horrible knowing that you can never speak to someone you love so much again, and that if or when you do speak to them in the future the love won't be there anymore, on either part. That's awful. Why does love have to go, why isn't it enough? When you care so deeply about someone, surely it should be a great enough foundation for something to last. How does it go, and where do all the feelings go? They surely can't just disappear, what happens to them?
This is horrible. I don't want to contact him but I don't want to not contact him.
I miss him so much.

[senokotmax]

Day 1 ...
It's horrible knowing that you can never speak to someone you love so much again, and that if or when you do speak to them in the future the love won't be there anymore, on either part. That's awful. Why does love have to go, why isn't it enough? When you care so deeply about someone, surely it should be a great enough foundation for something to last. How does it go, and where do all the feelings go? They surely can't just disappear, what happens to them?
This is horrible. I don't want to contact him but I don't want to not contact him.
I miss him so much.

Right there with you. Wouldn't it be brilliant to turn back to the clock to when it was still good and stay like that forever? It's so hard to accept it is gone and can't come back...

[Emmalina]

Right there with you. Wouldn't it be brilliant to turn back to the clock to when it was still good and stay like that forever? It's so hard to accept it is gone and can't come back...

I agree.
It would be fantastic. Back to the days when they were crazy about you too, when you could laugh all night and spend whole days in bed together, make plans for the future together and not know that it would end up any different.
I would replay our glory days over and over and over and it would all be okay. I miss those days more than I can even bear to think about. I don't think I do miss him any longer, at least not the person he is now, but I do miss the person he used to be, I miss what we had together, it's awful knowing there will never be a situation where we will get it back to how it was.

[OmnicronPercei8]

Day 5. Today my issue was struggling with the fact that my ex potentially has cervical cancer. She mentioned that one night after we'd had several to drink that she we supposed to book an appointment to have a C-PAP (not sure if I remember that right) and that it hurts like hell. She'd had one after her child was born and they told her that they would monitor her cervix to see if she would eventually have to have it removed. She asked me that night if I would still be interested in her if she wasn't able to have children (knowing I'd like a big family) and I said absolutely yes. We could always adopt if we wanted to have our large family. She told me that if they told her that she had cervical cancer or I guess the C-PAP came back bad then we could shoot to have a child and we could just say screw what anyone would think (her getting knocked up before anyone really even knew we were dating including her ex-fiance who we work with).

My sadness came today that it's another shattered dream that I will never share with her. We will never have children together and she might be moving fast with the guy she's with so she can have a child with him. Even if things don't work out for them and she did come back (if I happened to take her back) then we would probably never be able to have our own child together. Nothing new, and nothing's changed, but it's just something that I hadn't thought of before today

[confusius]

I want to contact her, but probably not this month.....hopefully. But reading this and getting advises from couple people help me moving forward. I hope I won't breakdown.

[Cerby]

I want to contact her, but probably not this month.....hopefully. But reading this and getting advises from couple people help me moving forward. I hope I won't breakdown.

I wrote a letter to mine, but it actually helped me move forward instead of drag me back. From what I hear this isn't normal though, I had accepted that it was over and the letter was more of a goodbye, she called, we went for coffee, and made peace with what happened.

But I'm also a manwhore and am now dating someone else, so I guess thats just the way it goes.

[McRich01]

2 Weeks and 3 Days - Well, Here i am, The pain is easing a lot if i'm honest, I certainly didn't think i'd be here today 4 weeks ago when you decided to leave me for no reason what so ever ! And after you played me for 2 weeks, I guess that made it easier because you turned my love into pure hatred towards you.

I've had to comfort 2 friends who have just had there ex's break up with them ! One after 3 years and the other after 4 years, Suddenly 16 months doesn't sound a lot.

Although i can't help but think about you when certain songs come on the radio and I'm driving ! Because some songs remind me of you and our past, However i only miss who you used to be, Not who you are now.

It'll hit you soon. What you've lost, What you've thrown away. And you know what ? I'll turn you away, Because i hate you.

The pain does get easier !

[OmnicronPercei8]

Day 6. I had a really hard day just being at work today again with her. I didn't really look at her as I passed by a handful of times on my way here or there, and I'm pretty sure she didn't really look at me. I just buried my head down and got work done. I feel like I really need to get another job soon because not only are we dealing with the silent treatment, I feel she will start to resent me because it is awkward between us at work as well. I really didn't have many people I called true friends at work prior to dating her. Just her and another girl. Now the other girl has moved away and my ex and I are no longer friends. I truly feel like I am a ghost in that place and I just haunt the aisles.

Contemplated the fantasy of when I do eventually leave, if she'll give me a last hug goodbye. It won't seem out of line to anyone else as I'll probably get hugs from all my female coworkers. I don't want to just walk by her desk for the last time and not say anything and that's it forever...

[McRich01]

I agree.
It would be fantastic. Back to the days when they were crazy about you too, when you could laugh all night and spend whole days in bed together, make plans for the future together and not know that it would end up any different.
I would replay our glory days over and over and over and it would all be okay. I miss those days more than I can even bear to think about. I don't think I do miss him any longer, at least not the person he is now, but I do miss the person he used to be, I miss what we had together, it's awful knowing there will never be a situation where we will get it back to how it was.

Hang in there !

2 weeks and 4 days - I feel good today, In fact, I feel great, Not having you to worry about, Not having all the silly phone calls every minute, No longer any trust issues, No longer having to manage two people ! I think it hit me the other day that its not me who's lost anything in this, But in fact, You have lost everything. I have gained freedom, And i have found out who i am, I am having such a good time socializing with friends, Pursuing my life now.

You think just because you have your little gay friend hanging off your arm that you are okay, And in fact it may seem like you're okay when you're with him, But what you going to do when he suddenly finds out what you are ? So many people take the piss out of you, Even your friends do, In fact, The amount of people who think you're an attention seeking little bitch is funny. What's even more funny is the fact that i couldn't give two shits whether your shagging this gay friend of yours like i've heard, It actually makes me laugh to think you're so desperate to open your legs. Have some morals, And maybe some self respect !

Me, I'm doing great ! off out with friends most weekends, Talking to various girls Moved on completely, Who knows, At this rate i'll be dating someone so much more attractive then you ! So much more maturer, Someone who deserves happiness, And deserves to be swept off there feet and treated like a princess.

You wonder why i screwed up valentines day ? and your birthday ? Well because i couldn't be arsed with you.

To Everyone here ! Time really is a healer ! Stop dwelling over your ex, Chin up, Smile, Move on and be happy !

[senokotmax]

Today is Day ONE.

[McRich01]

Today is Day ONE.

Hang in there. The first week is the hardest, Followed by the second, But i can honestly tell you after the 2nd week you actually can feel the recovery ! And its great !

[DarkHelmet82]

its been 8 days for me.

[Renwo]

Day 4. Staying strong!