Just not feeling it... will it improve?

[LaMb ChOp]

..........

[Wakeup]

Whats wrong with you, lamby that you have to keep getting reassurance from this board about your every relationship action and sexual decision.

It only takes common sense to figure out that to continue in this relationship will be unfair to this guy. Where are you meetinging these men? Is it from online dating sites?

If when you kiss him you don't nor did you feel much of anything then I have ask you what were you thinking by going to bed with him?

You're freshly out of a marriage and I'm thinking you're going crazy just trying to screw how many you can even when you're not even attracted to them or have much of anything else going in the mutuality department.

When you going to start choosing wisely instead of with your punanny? Common sense is a wonderful tool to help you make wise decisions.

[LaMb ChOp]

..........

[Wakeup]

First you have to be happy as a single and then you'll start to pick better lovers and/or partners. Adjust to being on your own and doing things that will make you happy and an interesting person to know, capable of being alone and content. It's about self worth and having the ability to be happy in your own skin. Once you're at that state your good and healthy sense of self value won't allow you to get to the point you got to with this guy and you'll have the strength to tell him that you don't think you're a good match and wish him luck and next him.

[UnknownXV]

Meh, personally sex isn't that big a deal to me. Besides, he can always use toys and try out other kinky ways to please you, if it's that important for you. Talk to him about it.

[bulrush]

Lamb Chop,
Don't worry about if you are being wild and sleeping with different people. You have to be yourself, but be safe at the same time.

Second, the more people you sleep with, the more likely you will find that great match. Some people will be good, and some will be bad. If you want to work with a certain guy to make him better, talk to him in a tactful way. If he can take constructive hints, then he is probably a decent guy. If he doesn't want to improve himself to please you, find someone else. There are still guys out there that love to please a woman, you just have to tell them what you like.

Men do not have ESP, you have to tell them what you like.

You also have to be honest with yourself as to what you like. Looking at today, how do you want a guy to behave? Do you want him to go slow and gentle? Or simply take you fast and pound you hard?

The more you are honest with yourself, the happier you will be.

I sort of know what you mean. My last gf, we had great chemistry. Both of us were very happy in bed. But we disagreed on one of the bigger things, and we ended up breaking up. Odd thing was, we are still good friends.

[vashti]

the last thing I want/need is to be with someone else who I don't enjoy sleeping with. Thing is the last guy I slept with was absolutely amazing, extremely good looking and very experienced so could it be that sex is never gonna be the same again for me now that I feel I've experience the best sex ever?

OMG, that would totally suck! What if - in order to have a good sex life - we have to settle for someone who isn't a good match in any other way?

Anyway, I don't think he will be able to recover from being underwhelming in bed, unless maybe you are pretty young (<25) and he is still learning. Men beyond that age are probably pretty well enmeshed in doing things the way they *always* have, and I doubt they will be motivated to improve much.

[IndigoGal]

If the sex isn't good at all, I usually figure it's just not going to work out. Yes, you can work on things with a guy, but there has to be some initial chemistry there. For some people sex isn't that big a deal and for them, bad sex might not matter. Personally, great sex very important to me, especially if I see a future with the person. I cannot be faithful to someone who doesn't satisfy me sexually. I think there are a lot of people out there who feel the same way.

I had a similar experience with a guy I was seeing a little while back. He seemed to feel we were having mind-blowing sex. He couldn't believe he could go three times in a night (apparently he hadn't in a very long time). I didn't feel like the sex was bad, but it certainly wasn't great either. I think a lot of people are used to mediocre sex, and heck, if that satisfies them, good for them. If you're used to truly amazing sex (and what that is will be different for most people) mediocre just won't cut it. If it matters to you, it's not going to work out with this guy.

As for being ruined by the last guy who rocked your world, don't worry. There are actually a lot of men out there who have skills, and a big part of how rocked your world is going to be has to do with your attraction to them and whether you have that spark. Skills can be learned, but that spark has to be there.

[deeblondie82]

I get what your saying. Ive been with guys who were amazing and then no so. You need to either work on it and maybe he will get better or go on to dating someone new