I want to tell P that I love him...I really really do. And I know I love him. But part of me is afraid that he doesn't want to hear it. There's nothing to suggest that he doesn't, I think its my own insecurities acting against me - and I'm afraid of potentially ruining what we have going at the moment. Generally I speak my mind, and so many times lately I've wanted to blurt it out, and I've just held it in.
Its pretty irrational really - he's just not the type to turn around and hurt me, everything he says and everything he does shows me that he at least cares quite a bit. Its just stupid.
Why can't I say it?
I've never been first to say it to any male...its nerve wracking just thinking about it. The thought of it terrifies me and fills me with excitement at the same time.
We've been together nearly 5 months, and I've been holding it in about a month now....maybe I just need to get over it and just blurt it out next time I feel it.
Hmm....