What do men in relationships really think when watching porn?

[Mathias]

Only if the girl is assertive enough to go get it. If she stands and waits for something to happen it may not happen. Which is my entire point. Most men don't grasp the concept that men are more likely to go after women so they will have an easier time to get laid. Waiting for something means there is a chance it will never happen.

It may not, but it's going to happen a lot more than the man getting laid.

[Katmeow85]

You can't do it all yourself. You've tried to change things, and he's made it clear they won't change.

How many times do you want to run into the wall before you realize it's not going to change into a door?

He has started to do things though. Little things to help me with our son. He wasnt pulling his weight and now after he has noticed this sadness around me he has started to actually help me with him.

It is just this sex issue now.

[DannyH]

It may not, but it's going to happen a lot more than the man getting laid.

If an average guy wants to get laid he will continue to talk to women until he gets what he wants. If an average women wants to get laid she waits for the guy to come to her some nights 3 or 4 guys talk to her none are acceptable what then? oh yeah she doesn't get laid. The average guy can walk up to somebody the first minute he gets there. The average women will have to wait for a guy to approach. Even women who are attractive go home alone some nights. The average dude can take somebody home every single night as long as he keeps going after what he wants.
Women get laid by more then men and faster then men is only a myth

[Mathias]

If an average guy wants to get laid he will continue to talk to women until he gets what he wants. If an average women wants to get laid she waits for the guy to come to her some nights 3 or 4 guys talk to her none are acceptable what then? oh yeah she doesn't get laid. The average guy can walk up to somebody the first minute he gets there. The average women will have to wait for a guy to approach. Even women who are attractive go home alone some nights. The average dude can take somebody home every single night as long as he keeps going after what he wants.
Women get laid by more then men and faster then men is only a myth

You just changed your argument. Of course overall, women don't get laid more than men in heterosexual pairings. That's impossible. You said earlier it was EASIER for men. That's wrong.

But, you've proved you:

1. Can't understand the difference when you changed your argument

or

2. Are being intentionally disingenuous.

Either way, we're done here.

[DannyH]

You just changed your argument. Of course overall, women don't get laid more than men in heterosexual pairings. That's impossible. You said earlier it was EASIER for men. That's wrong.

But, you've proved you:

1. Can't understand the difference when you changed your argument

or

2. Are being intentionally disingenuous.

Either way, we're done here.

Proving my points in a bit more detail. I went from basics of it in to a little more depth behind it. Due to the fact of men making the first move and women normally wait for the men to do so.
Go back up and read about the wall description. take any wall in your house and wait for it to come to you. Now go up and touch it. Which was easier. Men get the myth that women have an easier time getting laid from what they see at the bars and clubs. A handful of select women who get approached all the time and they just say yes or no. That isn't most women. That is a small fraction. Whoever isn't afraid to go up and get what they want will always have an easier time then waiting for it. Which happens to be men. I didn't change my tune. You brought up a different point so I countered to it. The myth part was in regards to your

It may not, but it's going to happen a lot more than the man getting laid.

Whoever goes after what they want will get it easier. Men normally do so. I will admit women who go after what they want have a huge advantage and a really easier time getting laid because now they have men approach them and they aren't afraid to approach a man they want. Problem is that isn't most women now is it.

[ctr916]

I have never put in to account the amount of money a man makes. I take in to account whether I am attracted to him - personality usually more than looks. I feel uncomfortable if they are flashing the cash. I feel like they are trying to buy me.

Also porn is sex and sex is porn but there is a difference. Porn on a live stage is people performing sexual acts to the public for money. Sex in a bedroom is private and usually isn't paid for. Sex in a bedroom is usually between two people that have a mutual attraction for each other and want to do it for free because of this like.

In my opinion, it depends on the guy; some guys may be willing to ignore you if they know they can get someone who is worth five thousand dollars an hour in a given market based economy. Women do something similar, for free; are you going to claim that it doesn't affect men and their willingness to "tell women what they want to hear" for a little while?

Money and sex are two different things; how would you distinguish in a hypothetical, non money based economy between sex and porn?

[ctr916]

Also it is really affecting me. I was happy before I knew what he was doing. What he was watching. Now I hate myself. I hate the way I look more than I ever did before. I actually felt beautiful. I feel second best. I was happy. I had built up some self-esteem just to have it all knocked out of me. I'm scared to leave him on his own in case I catch him doing it again. It is on my mind 24/7. I dont feel like doing anything. I'm in pain and I can't stop feeling sad. I've tried to get it out of my mind but I can't. I've even asked for counselling. If you dont understand how it is hurting me you can never really understand. It may just be porn to you and it doesnt hurt you but it hurts some people.

If you knew something you were doing was hurting your partner this badly wouldnt you stop?

Why enable a form of co-dependence? Why do you resort to a form of fallacy and blame the guy instead of working on your attitude and character?

[Katmeow85]

Why enable a form of co-dependence? Why do you resort to a form of fallacy and blame the guy instead of working on your attitude and character?

I am working on it. Going to counselling by myself, reading books...etc

It still doesnt help that hed rather look at porn than have sex with me.

[Katmeow85]

In my opinion, it depends on the guy; some guys may be willing to ignore you if they know they can get someone who is worth five thousand dollars an hour in a given market based economy. Women do something similar, for free; are you going to claim that it doesn't affect men and their willingness to "tell women what they want to hear" for a little while?

Money and sex are two different things; how would you distinguish in a hypothetical, non money based economy between sex and porn?

What? Youve lost me.

[ctr916]

See this is how I know you do not even know what fallacy means. Most guy make the first move on everything towards women. First interaction, first date, move in for the first kiss, move in for the chance to have sex. I'll put it simply like this. Take the wall on the opposite side of the room. Sit in your chair and wait for the wall to come to you. No matter how long you wait the wall is never gonna come to you. Now go up and touch the wall. Which was easier. Touching the wall. Most women wait for Men to make the moves. That isn't a fallacy it's human nature.Since women normally wait for guys to make the first approach. They have really no control on who comes over. Sure they can look at a guy across the room and try to give him signals it doesn't mean his is gonna pop on over there. Most men who just want to have a ONS will go and talk to women til he gets it. Women who act like the majority of women and wait for guys to approach them are not even guaranteed to be approached at all. Going to get what you want provides you will more access, move chances, more variety then simply waiting for something to happen.
A women normally get's to say yes or no to a man. The man hears no he can move on to the next women most of the time more quickly then the next man will approach the women. I mean she can have 10 guys approach her and none of them suitable to sleep with and she says no to all of them nobody else approaches what is she gonna do? go home alone.
Hell what are some of the most annoying/difficult times in people's lives. Waiting for stuff. Waiting for red lights, waiting for a pay check, waiting for an important phone call, waiting for the package in the mail, waiting for a taxi, waiting for your food to arrive when you order out. Now imagine you had to wait for women to approach you. If most guys did that most of them would never get laid.
Money, Lifestyle, clothes, fame, education, Religion, gender have really a different effect on the whole aspect of sex and relationships in general. They really only affect the type of people that are attracted to you. They are not even a guarantee to get you laid more often or even easier. Just affect what type of people you get.
Just how life works bro.

I also can bet if Katmeow85 was getting all the sex she needs from her man she would careless about the porn but she isn't. She isn't getting what she wants from her guy and he would rather watch porn then screw is what it seems like. It's one thing to watch porn and still give your girl what she wants. Its another thing to use porn as a replacement for her.

"Sex is porn, simply because porn is sex" <---- This statement is a fallacy. Porn is the depiction of sex. Not the act of sex. Like all of your other misconceptions.

Simply resorting to a stereotype is not a proof that I am resorting to fallacy, but merely that you are engaging in that form of special pleading.

How does that work when money is involved versus when money isn't invovled? Do women evolve dopplegangers and use men for sex in one case and not the other; why the double-standard if most women claim to not care about money?

"Sex is porn, simply because porn is sex" Can there even be "porn" without sex being involved? Where is the fallacy? Live porn is a sex act as is digital porn; which is also an act of sex; are you claiming that is false?

[ctr916]

What? Youve lost me.

Perhaps, that may be one reason you don't seem to have better coping skills.

[Katmeow85]

Perhaps, that may be one reason you don't seem to have better coping skills.

I have coping skills. Just not very well in this case. I have dealt with alot. You cant only judge me on this reaction.
If i wasnt coping well i would be a mess right now and screaming at my bf. Im not. Im on here instead venting my frustrations.

[DannyH]

Simply resorting to a stereotype is not a proof that I am resorting to fallacy, but merely that you are engaging in that form of special pleading.

How does that work when money is involved versus when money isn't invovled? Do women evolve dopplegangers and use men for sex in one case and not the other; why the double-standard if most women claim to not care about money?

"Sex is porn, simply because porn is sex" Can there even be "porn" without sex being involved? Where is the fallacy? Live porn is a sex act as is digital porn; which is also an act of sex; are you claiming that is false?

Sex can exist without porn. Porn cannot exist without sex. That doesn't mean porn is sex. that is a sweeping generalization a fallacy. You would know that if you actually understood what a fallacy is. Porn is the depiction of sex. Not the act of sex. Which is what you do not understand. When you understand the meaning of depiction. Sleeping with your wife or girl would be sex. Recording it while doing it would still be having sex. The recording itself would be pornography. That sex is porn line I copied from you a few posts back. There is no such thing as live porn. There is a such thing as live sex. Live sex would of course be the act of sex. If you recorded the live act that had sex in it then that video would be pornography.

[misombra]

That's not always the only factor. My wife has as high a libido as mine... at least.

Now I see how it was so easy to chose her over your child.

[ctr916]

I have coping skills. Just not very well in this case. I have dealt with alot. You cant only judge me on this reaction.
If i wasnt coping well i would be a mess right now and screaming at my bf. Im not. Im on here instead venting my frustrations.

Thank you (from one gender to another) for trying.