Originally Posted by
ForMadmenOnly
Why why why?? Why "[be] a bitch". And why is not ok to forgive you that?
Why do you have to "try out shit" all the time? And why do you have to test men all the time?
It's not like we do it on purpose ... as I said half the time we don't even know we're being unreasonable. It's up to you to kindly tell us when we are being unreasonable. You don't have to go along with us if you don't want to, but you do have to compromise and sometimes go along with us. Same of us with you. It's called a happy balance. Why would you want to always give a woman her way and never get what you want. That's what "nice" guys do. They over accomodate to the point where you become boring and predictible to us.
I am a genuinely good and quite guy. I simply cannot say no.
And how is that working out for you so far? Get reading up on how to be assertive, Read books on confidence. "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" might be a good read for you. As as the poster above recommends.. "Codependent No More" for sure.
And funny enough my last gf was a Canadian one. When we met she was extremely insecure, because her ex cheated on her. She told me she is looking for a nice guy. Since day one she was testing me with all the usual female tricks.
Do you tell her what she's doing? Do you tell her that you don't appreciate her doing those things she does because if makes you not trust her to be grown up enough or over her baggage to be a good partner or, do you just say "yes dear" and try even harder to please her.. treating her like a princess that she is not?
I got abused, sweared at and emotionally bullied. I forgave her everything. I would always say "Baby you don't even have to say sorry".
You disgust me.. lol joking (kinda). Do you think catering to her like that is a masculine trait? That she would think that you could protect her in a dangerous situation? You can't even protect yourself from her and her abusive shit.
But the more I would say that the more she would push me around. She even cheated! I forgave her that too. And then she started the "i need time and space". I went crazy and made her life a living hell. I called her names and verbally abused her.
You need therapy (sorry, but you have a real problem)
And guess what happened? Suddenly she couldn't understand why a "good guy" like me wanted to hurt her. Suddenly I was not a good guy anymore?!? I was a bad person!?!
You see...you taught her to not like you. You're not a bad person you are a insecure woose. Sorry, I'm sure you don't mean to be but you do need to work on yourself so that you don't cling to woman who do not respect you and you need to let them know that if they don't value you, you will leave their broken ass.
I know its bad to generalize but all women in my life have been like this. They take take take, and when it is time to give back they are quick to sat NO. Not only girlfriends but female friends as well.
Yea well, you give, give, give what do you expect?
So +1 to the OP for his nice question.
Yes, I hate to see people like you being taken advantage of and abused. Start working on yourself, your self worth and confidence and quit thinking that every woman deserves what you give. Not all of them deserve and you need to be able to distinguise
Being in a happy healthy relationship where both people respect one another means both people have to be caring to the other but loving enough to not ruin the relationship by giving into unreasonable demands and princess/prince like behaviour of entitlement.
P.S. Great post "Derums"
Last edited by Wakeup; 13-07-11 at 01:09 AM.
Reason: to add
“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion