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Thread: Did they ever care?

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    Did they ever care?

    I have really been feeling well the last couple of days, I am back to my happy and optimistic self again. There has been NC for 5 days. My question is, if someone that you dated did try to harm you emotionally, or in any other way, did they ever care or not?

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    if they cared why would they try and hurt you?

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    easier to take your pain out to someone else, right?

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    yeah thats why people do things like that.. it makes them feel better about themselves

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    glad they left

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    Quote Originally Posted by DarkHelmet82 View Post
    if they cared why would they try and hurt you?
    Some people are mentally ill, or REALLY dysfunctional, and they really believe their hurtful actions are how they show their love for someone else.
    I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
    (Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)

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    If a person grows up in an abusive environment they get a skewed version of what love and care is. It is easy for them to pick up those behaviours and repeat them without even realising it. So yes I think someone can truly care but also hurt you. That was my ex.
    Some people are drains and some are radiators... Keep clear of the drains and hug the radiators!

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    Quote Originally Posted by pisces25 View Post
    If a person grows up in an abusive environment they get a skewed version of what love and care is. It is easy for them to pick up those behaviours and repeat them without even realising it. So yes I think someone can truly care but also hurt you. That was my ex.
    Not always true. I came from a screwed up and abusive family and it showed me what not to do. It gave me like the perfect picture of a codependent emotional abusive relationship. I saw how both sides were really screwing with each other and how neither of them want to change. Growing up with that crap made me realize what I don't want. Do my parents love each other yes do they hurt each other emotionally yes. It's a sick cycle and they have been doing it for 35 years and both of them are too scared to change it.
    Getting over a broken heart is like being on shrooms. -MaidenMinx

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    simple nope!

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    Quote Originally Posted by DannyH View Post
    Not always true. I came from a screwed up and abusive family and it showed me what not to do. It gave me like the perfect picture of a codependent emotional abusive relationship. I saw how both sides were really screwing with each other and how neither of them want to change. Growing up with that crap made me realize what I don't want. Do my parents love each other yes do they hurt each other emotionally yes. It's a sick cycle and they have been doing it for 35 years and both of them are too scared to change it.
    Definately not always true but it is quite common. I am glad you were able to take a different road Danny.
    Some people are drains and some are radiators... Keep clear of the drains and hug the radiators!

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    Quote Originally Posted by DarkHelmet82 View Post
    if they cared why would they try and hurt you?
    Because people are emotional, vindictive trainwrecks. It doesn't mean their feelings weren't genuinely good at one time or another.

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