My girlfriend has a girlfriend..how?

[stev]

hey everyone,

I am really in love with this girl for 8 months now, a couple of months back she was acting strange and felt it but she didnt say anything when I asked what was going on, about 3 weeks ago she fell in love with me again..thank god..
However I discovered that she has a girlfriend and I confronted her, we spoke about it and she admitted that that strangeness 2 months back was when she started seeing this other girl and she felt weird and confused..
Now she want to be with us both, how is that possible? can you be with 2 persons at the same time and still be in love?
I was kind of upset at first but now I am just so confused...pls give me some advice..anyone had something like this? girls?

thank you
stev

[Becca-leigh]

Tough situation when feelings are involved. I don't think you can be with two people and still experience true love. If I was you I would ask for a threesome then tell her to bugger off.

[MaidenMinx]

When I was 19 I was naive enough to think I could have my cake and eat it too. I was in a long term (3 and half years at the time) relationship and fell madly in lust with a girl I was going to school with. I started seeing her. She also had a boyfriend at the time. I fell rather hard for the girl and would have left my man for her, unfortunately she didn't feel as strongly for me. I broke up with her but by that point in time the damage in my hetero relationship at the time had been done. My ex no longer trusted me (and rightfully so) and it took about a year of being guilted by him before I ended it with him.

This used to be a rather popular Jerry Springer scenario too. It was actually watching Jerry that made me realise how wrong it was. Cheating is cheating no matter the genders involved.

[Superfantastich]

whether its with a boy or girl she is CHEATING, someone in love doesnt do that..

[bulrush]

hey everyone,

I am really in love with this girl for 8 months now, a couple of months back she was acting strange and felt it but she didnt say anything when I asked what was going on, about 3 weeks ago she fell in love with me again..thank god..

However I discovered that she has a girlfriend and I confronted her, we spoke about it and she admitted that that strangeness 2 months back was when she started seeing this other girl and she felt weird and confused..

Now she want to be with us both, how is that possible? can you be with 2 persons at the same time and still be in love?

It's called polyamory, and it's only for really mature, very confident people who do not have issues with insecurity. One person is the "primary committment", the other is secondary.
[url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyamory]Polyamory - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia[/url]

Oops. Wikipedia explains there are several forms of polyamory.

[Wakeup]

whether its with a boy or girl she is CHEATING, someone in love doesnt do that..

You are very rigid in your thinking. Have you never heard of the term open relationship, polyamory or polygamy?

OP: I suggest you read up on the two terms: polyamory and polygamy and understand the dynamics of such a relationship. If after that you can't see yourself being able to adjust then get away from her and that lifestyle now before you're hurt by her cheating. I'll add that If it's agreed to then it's not cheating.

If you have the same rigidity as superfantastich then the lifestyle will definatately not suit you.

[Mathias]

whether its with a boy or girl she is CHEATING, someone in love doesnt do that..

Unfortunately, life isn't that simple.

[DannyH]

It's a pita situation if you get jealous. It may seem cool and you could not be the jealous type but something like that can bring out the worst of it. I only know the 2 bisexual females and 1 dude scenario. Only 6 months and it wasn't all that great ok first week or so was fun. Every man's dream nope not this guy's dream f that. It really is harder to handle the most people realize but when your girls are in the other room without you... it wasn't all that fun. I got played in to the situation(looking at you mark1) and was like screw it I'll try it. If I was you I'd back out if you can't handle jealousy. I walked away from it with a few good stories. At least with 2 women at the same time dating was fun. The stares were hilarious. Now going out with one felt normal but doing it with two women was a nightmare really don't know how those guys can date 2 3 4 girls at a time without them knowing each other. Mine knew each other slept with each other and it still sucked some of the time. You don't get the fun part of two women though you get one women with all of the bad. Your girl is gonna have to split time with you and her girl which may get tricky and will add more jealous if heaven forbid your girl spends more time with you or with her other girl. If you think your self-confident and not the jealous type(I mean on insane like super human levels) and she is worth it feel free to try it but it will be harder then you ever could of imagined. If your not just walk and just let her go.

[Superfantastich]

if she had told him and he wasnt upset and confused about it I wouldnt be saying this, but as he said she "loves him" so why is she suddenly bringing all this apon him and not discussing it an an earlier stage?. I just don't know of any loving, supportive polygamous long term relationships so I guess that option never come to mind, whatever floats your boat....

[devonbrown]

To me, it seems pretty simple. If the OP trusts what his gf is telling him about her feelings, he can either accept it and continue on or not accept it and leave. It isn't as much about his belief in polyamorous relationships, etc. as it is about trusting that his girlfriend is capable of feeling the way she does. And since we don't know her, we can't really make that judgment.

But, my issue is with the "strangeness" 2 months back. That she admits occurs because that is when she started seeing the other person. Unless the OP and his gf were in an open relationship then, this sounds like cheating to me. And cheating = lack of trust.

[stev]

Thanks for all your input, it is really helpful. I am still confused but am willing to give it a try since she did tell me everything and I have met the other girl and she seems cool.
However I told he that I am not sure I can accept this long term so we will see..
It sounds fun to be with 2 girls and all but when feelings are involved it gets more complicated for sure.

Thank guys!

[IncognitoSir]

Thanks for all your input, it is really helpful. I am still confused but am willing to give it a try since she did tell me everything and I have met the other girl and she seems cool.
However I told he that I am not sure I can accept this long term so we will see..
It sounds fun to be with 2 girls and all but when feelings are involved it gets more complicated for sure.

Thank guys!

How old are you guys? I ask because if you are young and lack relationship experience......this is going to mind-phuck the shit out of YOU especially. You love this girl and you are literally going to be sharing her with another woman. Sharing HER with a WOMAN. If you think you're ready for something like that, then so be it, but it seems like it's one hell of a stretch to make.