Why do cheaters say they are in love, but they cheat?

[jnr1005]

So I was wondering this about this one this morning due to last nights adventures. Doesn't affect me, but got my mind to thinking.

Brief overview:
I met this guy and have been kinda seeing him for 3 weeks, everything is good there. He lives with two other guys..one of whom is hot as hell (we will call him S), but is engaged and claims he "loves" his girl. So last night I bring my really cute female roomie to a birthday party for our mutual friends kid.

So "s" shows up and my roomie is all "ohhh..he's hot" and the two of them start flirting. (I told her he is a player and she didn't care since she is not looking for long term). We were going to a bar that night and my guy couldn't come cause he has his kids, but "S" came and needless to say "S" spent the night with my roomie at our place. The kicker is 4th of July Weekend "S" brought home this girl to his place that was also not his fiance on Friday..then Sat night he made out with this other chick. Every time I am around him it is a diff girl..

So what gives? How can "S" say he is head over heels for the girl he is getting married to in a month, but is sleeping with everyone he seems to think is cute. My guy and their other roomie both expressed some disgust at his attitude, but I think that is bc both of them were married before and had spouses that cheated.

[Wakeup]

Evidently he can separate sex from love. Tiger Woods could do that too.

[DannyH]

Evidently he can separate sex from love. Tiger Woods could do that too.

Sex and love are like that for me but when I am in a serious relationship cheating just seems like a way to screw up a good thing.

[Wakeup]

No kidding! The sexual addicted don't logic it out though.

[bulrush]

"S" might be able to separate sex from love, but he can't see how it hurts his fiance. So he appears immature. Also, when guys get married, they often feel trapped, like they have to sleep with a bunch of girls before they get married, because they will be "stuck" with just one after marriage. If the guy feels like they will be "stuck" with one girl after marriage, they are probably not sexually compatible. It usually boils down to sex. Most girls, especially younger ones in their 20s and 30s, have huge sexual hangups, it's a major problem. Just based on my experience. So girls, if you want to keep that guy, dump your hangups and preconceptions about sex. It's a good start anyway.

Or "S" might have poor impulse control.

It might even be that the fiance of S is not sexually compatible with S, so S should not get married, but feels pressured to do so. But he's afraid to break up with his fiance. He might even be afraid to admit he made a mistake getting engaged.

Keep in mind that many "hot" guys (and girls) sleep around, they know they are hot, so they have no need to committ. If you date a hot guy, you can expect most of them to cheat. Because the guy knows they can just get another girl anyway.

This is how I approach things. I have 3 or 4 needs that I must have met. These are really important to me. A girl I'm dating has to meet all 3 or 4 of my needs, before we get serious or have a chance of getting married. These criteria are "deal breakers". If I don't get these needs met, the relationship will have problems and probably fail. That also means, it's very hard for me to find that "perfect" girl. But I'm patient, and I know finding the right girls means success and happiness in the end.

[vampiress]

Keep in mind that many "hot" guys (and girls) sleep around, they know they are hot, so they have no need to committ. If you date a hot guy, you can expect most of them to cheat. Because the guy knows they can just get another girl anyway.

maybe that's what happened to me !!!!! But why did he propose if he can't keep it in his pants????? had he ever loved me??? if he can have any girl why would he say HE LOVED ME????

[Wakeup]

^^^ because you likely cater to him and don't bother giving him grief. Or: he thought you made good breeding stock. or: I think guys go by "a feeling." Or: You have money and he figured when you leave him for cheating he'll get half your shit .. lol