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Thread: CONFUSION HELP: No contact vs limited contact.

  1. #1
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    CONFUSION HELP: No contact vs limited contact.

    I need answers from somebody that is experienced in this...right now, I can say I have been doing limited contact meaning I dont initiate any contact with ex, but i do give dry answers to her, and act like I dont care that she broke up with me to seem more desirable...I turn down any options to hang out, and the only reason i talk to her when she does contact me is so i appear perfectly fine, I feel like going no contact will show that she did hurt my feelings...Is there hope in her coming back the way I been doing things? I appear like im having a good life without her, and brush her off after only like 30 seconds of her occassional text. Keep in mind i do want her back.

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    Sonrisa is offline Gwynplaine
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    displaying immature behaviour - check!
    mo'Dajvo' pa'wIjDaq je narghpu' He'So'bogh SajlIj

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    The term "no contact" does not mean I keep contacting her.

    If you want her back tell her that and quit with the horseshit. If she tells you no then you have your answer and you can accept that the relationship is toast and get on with getting over her so you can heal and find someone who does want to be your gf. Right now all your showing her is than when she contacts you, you reply.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

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    I've done a lot of thinking on the same subject and have even foolishly bought a couple of ebooks on the subject (good advice but over priced, I'm a sucker!!). Even the so called relationship experts differ in their views on nc. I think at the end of the day you should choose to do what is best for u. Personally I was absolutely terrified of cutting off 100% contact but I did it and honestly I now know it was the right thing to do. My ex has tried to get me to communicate with him but I have chosen to ignore it. He won't hate me for it, he will be a bit bemused but at the end of the day my concern is my own health and my own sanity, not his and I am finding that this way, so far, is good for my situation. Ok it's only been ten days but that's the longest we have gone without speaking in 18 months! So it's a big deal for me

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    wow.. i'm still struggling with one day with nc. I'm finding it difficult to feel good about myself. that knot in my stomach won't go away.

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    Quote Originally Posted by JennaBella View Post
    I've done a lot of thinking on the same subject and have even foolishly bought a couple of ebooks on the subject (good advice but over priced, I'm a sucker!!). Even the so called relationship experts differ in their views on nc. I think at the end of the day you should choose to do what is best for u. Personally I was absolutely terrified of cutting off 100% contact but I did it and honestly I now know it was the right thing to do. My ex has tried to get me to communicate with him but I have chosen to ignore it. He won't hate me for it, he will be a bit bemused but at the end of the day my concern is my own health and my own sanity, not his and I am finding that this way, so far, is good for my situation. Ok it's only been ten days but that's the longest we have gone without speaking in 18 months! So it's a big deal for me
    yea i actually looked at a ebook too my friend had on his comp. for the same issue...but they all seem to talk about dont engage with an ex..even on sites where it says no contact, they are always talking about dont drunk dial, fight the urge to call them, etc....but none of them really go into how to behave when they contact u, im sure they may be over me, but they only ended things last week, i didnt fight about us or anything, so considering its only been a week, i iniitiated nothing, im sure feelings are still there, its not one of those 2 month ago situations when u finally attempt no contact, this was an immediate thing of me being unresponsive...but im just confused, because if somebody went completely cold turkey on me, i would know their feelings are hurt, and that i do affect their emotions.

  7. #7
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    What ever you are doing STOP!!!! it doesn't work on all woman because every one has a different type of personality. I think is best if you communicate how hurt you were by her etc... just let her know you need some time to think things through Do not ignore her or pretend it did not matter to you because if she is a proud soul you will loose her completely, some times woman are emotional and their emotions control their actions but soon after when their emotions have cool down they will go back to being rational, a smart man is a patient one who will understand not to pay attention when a woman has a melt down and just lets it go, be afraid of a woman who is cool and does not speak when angry it only means is over but if she tries to express how she feels and wants to talk things through it means she wants to fix things but if she has nothing to say regarding the relationship then is more then over for her.

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