is there a way for me to be her friend?

[mrund3rd09]

I met this girl in one of my summer classes. I introduced myself to her, and we became acquaintances. We didn't really get to know each other, primarily because I was the one who had to initiate contact, and I didn't want to be pushy.

I'll be honest. I'm physically attracted to her, and quite frankly, I find her a bit intimidating because she's so attractive. She works at the library, and from what I can see, she's by herself most of the time, working. I spend a lot of time at the library as well, mainly because I still have classes left to finish.

I would like to try to become her friend and then ask her out if all goes well. I don't even know if she's single (I doubt it). What do you recommend me doing? And just for the record, I haven't had my first relationship yet, so I'm pretty nervous and fearful of rejection

Is asking her to have lunch with me pretty much the only card for me to play?

[devonbrown]

Just go up to her and talk to her. Stop making her out to be some goddess in your mind. She is just a flesh and blood person like you. Go say hi. Make small talk. Ask her for coffee or lunch. Just talk to her and stop overthinking it.

[jamie2010taylor]

so she's on her own and you have yet to break the ice. For now let's not worry about whether shes in a relationship at the mo, if you can prove you are more of a catch than her potential current boyfriend she will be yours. I personally don't like going up to girls on their own, it's easier in a group because you can social proof yourself with her friends which is an alpha male characteristic she will find really attractive. If she's on her own then the best you can do is ask her where to find a book your after anything like that and engage in a conversation for as long as possible, this will be difficult as she is working so split the time. It's said it takes 25 minutes of rapport with a girl before she feels comfortable giving you her number so talk to her for maybe 15 mins one day and 10 on another before asking. Don't leave it too long after either as she'll quickly lose that comfort you built with her. Tell stories as they build comfort and ask questions from time to time. Just act and speak confidently, slowly, feet shoulder width apart and hands by your side or making gestures, trust me women are very good at seeing this and it says a lot about the guy, body language. Avoid complementing her, this conveys too much interest you don't want that yet. When you ask for her number immediately afterwards say 'I'm going shopping for new clothes tommorow and I could really use some female advice, don't ask her out to lunch it again is conveying too much interest, girls don't like this as they think the easy to read. Get to know her for a couple of hours and then eject by saying you need to see someone. By this point shell like you but only as a friend, in order to get her attracted to you you need to ask to meet her friends and start getting to know them and she will start to like you a lot more, try not to be too nice, trust me nice guys finish last I've learnt that the hard way. Sorry about the waffling but if you follow this carefully and thoroughly you could potentially have a hot girlfriend within the next week.

Hope I've helped,

[HeartIsAching]

I met this girl in one of my summer classes. I introduced myself to her, and we became acquaintances. We didn't really get to know each other, primarily because I was the one who had to initiate contact, and I didn't want to be pushy.

I'll be honest. I'm physically attracted to her, and quite frankly, I find her a bit intimidating because she's so attractive. She works at the library, and from what I can see, she's by herself most of the time, working. I spend a lot of time at the library as well, mainly because I still have classes left to finish.

I would like to try to become her friend and then ask her out if all goes well. I don't even know if she's single (I doubt it). What do you recommend me doing? And just for the record, I haven't had my first relationship yet, so I'm pretty nervous and fearful of rejection

Is asking her to have lunch with me pretty much the only card for me to play?

Ask her out for something small - like coffee. Start there.

You can't win if you don't play.

[mrund3rd09]

so she's on her own and you have yet to break the ice. For now let's not worry about whether shes in a relationship at the mo, if you can prove you are more of a catch than her potential current boyfriend she will be yours. I personally don't like going up to girls on their own, it's easier in a group because you can social proof yourself with her friends which is an alpha male characteristic she will find really attractive. If she's on her own then the best you can do is ask her where to find a book your after anything like that and engage in a conversation for as long as possible, this will be difficult as she is working so split the time. It's said it takes 25 minutes of rapport with a girl before she feels comfortable giving you her number so talk to her for maybe 15 mins one day and 10 on another before asking. Don't leave it too long after either as she'll quickly lose that comfort you built with her. Tell stories as they build comfort and ask questions from time to time. Just act and speak confidently, slowly, feet shoulder width apart and hands by your side or making gestures, trust me women are very good at seeing this and it says a lot about the guy, body language. Avoid complementing her, this conveys too much interest you don't want that yet. When you ask for her number immediately afterwards say 'I'm going shopping for new clothes tommorow and I could really use some female advice, don't ask her out to lunch it again is conveying too much interest, girls don't like this as they think the easy to read. Get to know her for a couple of hours and then eject by saying you need to see someone. By this point shell like you but only as a friend, in order to get her attracted to you you need to ask to meet her friends and start getting to know them and she will start to like you a lot more, try not to be too nice, trust me nice guys finish last I've learnt that the hard way. Sorry about the waffling but if you follow this carefully and thoroughly you could potentially have a hot girlfriend within the next week.

Hope I've helped,

I don't understand why I would ask her to go shop for clothes with me. Maybe that has worked for you, but I don't think I will do that. Lunch seems safer.

[jamie2010taylor]

Yep I'm afraid I learnt that the hard way a few times. Most girls just think it's too obvious, however if you make them tag along to plans you say you've already made their funnily enough much more up for it. You can go for lunch while your out afterwards and that's fine, if you say it it sometimes scares them off a bit and they'll make excuses. It's just the complex psychology of girls. I mean it might work for you as every girl is different, I'm just telling you what I know and what works for me.

[smackie9]

Just go up to her and talk to her. Stop making her out to be some goddess in your mind. She is just a flesh and blood person like you. Go say hi. Make small talk. Ask her for coffee or lunch. Just talk to her and stop overthinking it.

LOL I said that same thing on his other thread in the ask a female.....looks like he isn't hearing what he wants to hear, but maybe needs to hear.

[Mathias]

It's just the complex psychology of girls.

They're really not that complex. You just have to listen.

[mrund3rd09]

^ lol.

well the thing is I'm pretty sure she already has a bf. There's this guy who visits her at work from time to time. I'm pretty sure it's not her sibling/cousin.

[lahnnabell]

He could be another guy that's interested in her. Just because she MIGHT have a boyfriend it shouldn't prevent you from asking her out. If she has a BF, she'll tell you (hopefully) and you can move on. I know it'll hurt a bit, but that's better than hiding out in your room instead.

[VincenzoG91]

Don't pretend to be her friend when that isn't what you want from her. Cowboy up and ask her out on a real date before you end up stuck in the Friend Zone.

[TheTooya]

You are doing things in the wrong order. Don't start off trying to be a friend when what you really want is more.

Two frightening words: Friend zone.

D: