Got his number from a third party - should I contact him?

[NeverDated]

I met (the traditional way, for once!) a fairly cool guy. He comes across as very reserved and, perhaps, even a bit unsure of himself. There seemed to be chemistry. Long story short, I failed to deploy female testicles and ask him outright for his number. After he left, I asked his friend to pass my number along and leave the ball in the guy's court. His friend said he probably wouldn't contact even if he wanted to, and insisted I take the guy's number and get in touch myself.

I took it at face value and planned on texting mid-week. However, a friend has suggested this "screams stalker" and that I should just trump it up to a good night and not contact. Thoughts?

[maxmax]

Well, you say there seemed to be chemisty. I take it you were getting along? It could seem creepy if you called him, but that depends on how you play it.

If you do contact him, a call would be better than a text; you can explain yourself better on the phone, than you can in a text.

Why not call and say something along the lines of

"Hi it's ...... We met the other day at ..... I know it must seem really odd me calling, but once you left I was talking to .... and they gave me you number and said I should deifnitely call."

"I hope you don't mind etc ..." And even joke about not wanting to come across as a 'stalker', and just tell him why it is you actually want to get in touch. I take it you'd like to see him again, date etc?

Some guys would love that approach. If a girl I met and liked did this, I would be a little surprised, but in a good way (unlike the time a girl actually took my phone out of my bag, took my number down and then wouldnt stop texting me ... but that's another story.)

[Yet another guy]

I met (the traditional way, for once!) a fairly cool guy.

What is the traditional way? Did he hit on you at a club?

[Wakeup]

Why don't you tell the guy you got his number from to give him the heads up that you'll be calling him then it won't seem stalkerish at all.

[NeverDated]

What is the traditional way? Did he hit on you at a club?

LoL, no. =) I met him through a friend (of a friend) at a local event. Initially, I'd asked my friend to get one of her hubby's single friends to keep me occupied for the night, as there was dancing. Fried of a friend heard and said "Oh, you should totally meet this guy who came with so and so's friend." He's just so many steps removed from me the chances of just running into him are negligible.

Well, you say there seemed to be chemisty. I take it you were getting along?

We were...I think? I'm a pretty forward person - I typically don't have a problem asking for a guy's number if he doesn't offer - but I tried to tone it down because he seemed fairly skittish. He's not really "typical" so I had a very hard time reading if he was interested or not. I made it a point to wander away for a few minutes every now and again and let him strike up a convo when I came back. There was some awkward sitting too close, lingering eye contact, and very engaging conversation. Still, he was kind of closed off body-language wise most of the time and would avoid eye contact after it lingered. I had a hard time gauging if he was interested, or just bored and shy, so I gave him a good excuse to not look for someone else to talk to.

Why not call and say something along the lines of

Oh dear. I'm not sure I have the stones to do that.

I take it you'd like to see him again, date etc?

I suppose I'd just kind of like to see if it plays out to anything at all [friends, dating, hey-you-psycho-I-didn't-want-to-talk-to-you-again].

Why don't you tell the guy you got his number from to give him the heads up that you'll be calling him then it won't seem stalkerish at all.

Because I don't know that guy, either. I realized after I left that I should have gotten his info, just because we were having a good time hanging out. But it was late and I didn't even think about it as I was already a little nervous engaging him to get his friend's info.

[FeelingCalledL]

Off-topic. Don't you find it a turn off that he is reserved and unsure of himself?

[NeverDated]

Off-topic. Don't you find it a turn off that he is reserved and unsure of himself?

Not really. Everyone has their quirks. Some people take a little bit to relax and open up, so I don't usually go by the initial hand shake and hello. It's definitely a turn ON when a guy is self-assured, but it's more of a neutral in my book if he isn't. If he stays super reserved and weird after we seem to be past breaking the ice, it starts to wear on me.

[richardwordoff]

If you had a good reason for why you had it then I personally wouldn't have a problem. His friend probably should have asked him if it was OK to give his number out anyway, but I think if you said you got it from him because you couldn't ask him pesonally for *insert good reason*

I may not know what I'm talking about but it seems like girls have more issues with this sort of thing than guys do

[bulrush]

Ha ha! "Deploy female testicles." That's funny.

Yes, call him. I only date women who call/message me first. They need to have a certain amount of confidence. I don't want to end up being their shrink. And yes, I get a lot of messages from women.

Captain: "Number One, deploy female testicles."
Number one: "Female testicles deployed, sir."