Read Codependent No More by Melody Beatie (I'm stating to sound like a broken record) and start going to Ala-non meetings. There is a meeting near you, just google it. They will give you support, help you to understand, encourage you to stop trying to control and help you with your own addiction (being codependent).
Good luck and congratulations for getting away and no longer enabling him. You will start to feel better if you start looking after yourself and concentrating on being the best you that you can be.
“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion