Getting my ex gf back...

[1guytb25]

Hello there

I thought maybe this will be the place to get some small advice. My gf and I started off with so much love and respect. Been together for 2 yrs but just these last 4-5 months things went upside down. I would have to say it was my fault and I realize how much of an idiot I've been. So my gf and I broke up just early last month in June. I gave her space for over a week with no contact. I thought with time she can get over it and calm down for a few days but I made the first approached and called her. I apologized to her numerous times and this was not the first time we had issues, we had a few problems before that was my fault as lying, not supportive, not being there when she needed me and I tend to have a short fuse/ anger. But this last one I really blew it.

Just this month we started to talk again and I told her that I want to work things out and get her back. She said she doesn't want to be with me and its better that I'm off with someone else and plus she can't trust me or think that I will ever change. I told her how sorry I was and express my feelings. I asked her to please allow me and let me show her that I can be the person who I was in the beginning. I left her alone for a few days again and then I get a miss call and text. If felt great but when we talk about us she still refused to take me back or getting back into a relationship. Funny thing is we talk like almost everyday and hours on the phone, she accepts my calls, we still go out and hang out. When I try to talk about us she tries to turn the conversation around and changes the topic. As far as I know she is not seeing anyone. So now my only concern is what is she waiting for or what is going on?

[Agent85]

Move on. You did blow it. Its ok, you are human and we humans make mistakes. You know your flaws now, and its up to you to be smart enough to learn from them and to fix them. You need to do this so you don't carry this kind of behavior in your next relationship. If you do, its like cancer and your screwed right off of the bat with your new girlfriend. If you get back with her, you have to find new solutions, to old problems. Once you damage the relationship, its almost impossible to repair it. Relationships are like, "one time use only". Besides, Im sure you will find someone 10 times better anyway. Don't give up. Just be patient. With her contacting you, she is just playing games with you, but she doesn't know that she is doing it. I'm sure she is grieving, and there are several steps in the grieving process. So I guessing that being said, is part of the reason why she is still talking to you every now and then. Its normal, women think and act on emotions. Its just the way they are wired, and there is nothing wrong with it, it has its pro's and con's like everything else. There is no logic or reasoning with women, just pure emotion. For us men, we base things on logic, and it also has it pro's and con's. Both sexes have to learn to adapt and accept each other as we are. Good Luck, I give you my best.

[1guytb25]

Move on. You did blow it. Its ok, you are human and we humans make mistakes. You know your flaws now, and its up to you to be smart enough to learn from them and to fix them. You need to do this so you don't carry this kind of behavior in your next relationship. If you do, its like cancer and your screwed right off of the bat with your new girlfriend. If you get back with her, you have to find new solutions, to old problems. Once you damage the relationship, its almost impossible to repair it. Relationships are like, "one time use only". Besides, Im sure you will find someone 10 times better anyway. Don't give up. Just be patient. With her contacting you, she is just playing games with you, but she doesn't know that she is doing it. I'm sure she is grieving, and there are several steps in the grieving process. So I guessing that being said, is part of the reason why she is still talking to you every now and then. Its normal, women think and act on emotions. Its just the way they are wired, and there is nothing wrong with it, it has its pro's and con's like everything else. There is no logic or reasoning with women, just pure emotion. For us men, we base things on logic, and it also has it pro's and con's. Both sexes have to learn to adapt and accept each other as we are. Good Luck, I give you my best.

I appreciate your comment, I really do love this women. I'm surprise she didn't close my out. That's the main reason why I haven't let go. All I'm doing now is just showing her my new ways and maybe that's why she can't change her mind and maybe that's the trend she wants to see, not sure. As you mention women think and act on emotion but I'll see how far this goes and within a month. When there's hope I dont give up but if I dont see progress then I will just have to tell her and let her go.

[devonbrown]

It is over. She reached her limit and told you that. Stop trying to get her back. Be friends with her if you want, but don't think it will lead to anything else.

Don't try to analyze why she isn't going no-contact on you. It doesn't really matter. She is doing what is best for her. Be happy for her and move on.

[julinneray]

It is over. She reached her limit and told you that. Stop trying to get her back. Be friends with her if you want, but don't think it will lead to anything else.

Don't try to analyze why she isn't going no-contact on you. It doesn't really matter. She is doing what is best for her. Be happy for her and move on.

I agree with Devon..I think she just wants to be friends and its up to you to get the cues and move on. otherwise if you keep pushing it you might lose her both as a gf and a friend.

[HeartIsAching]

Yep, quit trying. As Devon said, she reached her limit and that's that. All you're going to do by continually trying is push her away further. If you're patient and continuing with the friendly contact without pushing her, she MAY in the future decide to give it another go, but I doubt it - don't hang your hopes on that.