Can a girl be wet and not enjoy it?

[tptp]

I can get my GF to orgasm using 2 fingers and touching the right spots.

However, when we sleep together, I can rarely make her orgasm. it kind of makes me feel bad and I always ask her what more I can do. I feel like maybe my equipment is too small?

She says that she still enjoys it and that she doesn't need to orgasm to enjoy sex?

So how can I tell if she is telling the truth and that she really is enjoying it?
If she is wet, does that mean she is in the mood and enjoying it?

[lahnnabell]

What spots do you touch? If you're referring to her clit, then that'd be how most women get off. However, most women cannot get off through intercourse alone and need additional stimulation (clitoral stimulation) to get them there. Women don't get clitoral stimulation through vaginal intercourse. There are positions that can help with that, but they're not surefire methods.

I can be wet and still be bored. If my brain isn't stimulated (your brain is a sex organ, yes) then it doesn't happen. This is why ample amounts of foreplay are important. How much time do you spend touching and teasing her before you have intercourse?

[tptp]

What spots do you touch? If you're referring to her clit, then that'd be how most women get off. However, most women cannot get off through intercourse alone and need additional stimulation (clitoral stimulation) to get them there. Women don't get clitoral stimulation through vaginal intercourse. There are positions that can help with that, but they're not surefire methods.

I can be wet and still be bored. If my brain isn't stimulated (your brain is a sex organ, yes) then it doesn't happen. This is why ample amounts of foreplay are important. How much time do you spend touching and teasing her before you have intercourse?

Its vaginal. I have figured out how she likes it and basically can get her to orgasm without too much trouble just using 2 fingers.

When I get her to orgasm during sex I have to do the jack hammer method which requires many minutes of just going at it. It is difficult because it is physically exhausting and because I can't finish before her.

[lahnnabell]

You're probably stimulating her G-spot which is a smile piece of tissue located on the front wall of her vagina. It's a very intensely sensitive spot when pressed and rubbed which enables women to orgasm. However, it's not stimulated very well during vaginal sex which is why she probably needs the increased tempo. Your fingers are also able to do a lot more detailed work than your penis can. Your dick is a straight rod that can't do much more than move in and out of her, so sex gets monotonous pretty easily.

What positions do you use? 'Cause there are plenty that will allow increased increased G-spot stimulation, plus they're fun and exciting to try. There are also practices that will enable you to last longer, but you it'll take some time and patience to get used to.

And do you ever touch her clit? 'Cause that's the most sensitive spot for a woman and every man should know about it.

[Wakeup]

Being wet means you've aroused her but it doesn't necessarily mean she's had an orgasm. If you're getting her to orgasm with digital stimulation then you should stop worrying so much about getting her off during actual penis in vagina sex. Just slow down because by trying to go fast like a jackhammer isn't doing much for either of you if she's not getting off and you're getting exhausted... It's not a bonfire you're trying to start anyway.

When you're in her why don't you try rubbing her clit with your pelvis as you thrust and keep the rhythim steady rather than frantic... Try different things like you're tongue and experiment while having fun. Quit putting pressure on yourself and, be very clear with her you don't want her faking because if she does you'll NEVER learn what actually does and can bring her to pop.

I'm pretty sure if she's actually coming when you digitally stimulate her then she'll be fine going without an orgasm while you're in her.

Have fun

[tptp]

I don't use my fingers to stimulate her clit because I don't really know how to. I just use my tongue during oral to stimulate it.

I personally like cow girl because I like to see her breasts and reverse cow girl because I love the shape of her back, the small of her back and her waist. It makes for a good visual. She doesn't like either of those positions because she says its too much work. Since it is far easier to get me off than her, we only do positions that she likes. Those are missionary and doggy.

@wakeup, I don't do the jack hammer for my benefit, she says she can't get of with "soft sex" she says she likes it rough.

I really want to work harder at getting her of during sex because I feel like I am not big enough for her. She always talk about how size matters down there and how she is visually stimulated by big ones. I am kind of small so I know I need to work harder to make her satisfied.

It bugs me that when we have sex, I get off and she doesn't. she tries to pacify me by saying that she doesn't need to reach orgasm for sex to be fun for her. That is why I asked my original question of: "If she is wet is she enjoying sex?".

[lahnnabell]

I am the same in that I don't have to have an orgasm every single time to enjoy sex. You need to trust her when she says that. Relationships need trust.

That's a bit insensitive for her to have said that she prefers big dicks. You need to open up and tell her that while you appreciate her honesty it's a bit disheartening for you because you know that you're not as big as her ideal fantasy. You need to be able to communicate your feelings about this 'cause apparently she's lost on a little thing called tact.

Cowgirl is a good opportunity for her to stimulate her own clit. Why isn't she doing this? She should also help you learn how to stimulate her clit and you should be open to learning. If you two can't work together on this, then there is a deeper underlying problem with the foundation of your relationship.

Tips for clit stimulation: 1. LOTS of lubrication. Saliva, her own wetness, KY warming oil is awesome 2. Slow down. No sudden movements or jerky motions because the clit is basically made of nothing but nerve endings. It's incredibly sensitive. 3. Lots of petting and foreplay. You need to stimulate her body and bring blood to her nether regions. When a woman becomes aroused her clit becomes engorged with blood, the same way your penis does. When a woman is very aroused her clit will be a lot more exposed than if she were not.

[Wakeup]

To tell you the truth she sounds rather insensitive and selfish and it sounds like you're doing most of the work, most of the time. Start giving her some soft instruction/commands and see how she responds to being a giver (instead of a taker) for a change.

Frankly I don't think she can come during Jackhammer sex but she knows that it makes you cum quickly so she says its the only way she can get off. I don't know why I think this, but I'm getting that vibe. You need to communicate with her and she needs to be honest so that you both are satisfied.

If she's wet is she enjoying sex?"

It means she's aroused.. after that you have to trust her word for it that she has enjoyed it. Women get aroused (ready for penetration) through kissing, antisipation, fondling, foreplay in general.

[lahnnabell]

To tell you the truth she sounds rather insensitive and selfish and it sounds like you're doing most of the work, most of the time. Start giving her some soft instruction/commands and see how she responds to being a giver (instead of a taker) for a change.

Frankly I don't think she can come during Jackhammer sex but she knows that it makes you cum quickly so she says its the only way she can get off. I don't know why I think this, but I'm getting that vibe. You need to communicate with her and she needs to be honest.

Damn, interesting observation. I've gone that route when I was younger now that I think of it.

[bulrush]

I have seen some women report that if they get TOO wet, they stop feeling friction and really are not feeling much. But this does not seem to be the case with your GF. I've had some girlfriends that said they get too wet and cannot feel much. I've had others who were super wet but loved it. The second group of girls I think were more open-minded and relaxed about sex. Which shows you that mental stimulation is important for women. So, dirty talk from you might be in order to help her get off.

Other than that, I agree with the other advice the others gave here. She doesn't have to orgasm to really like sex, women are not like men. Men have to orgasm because their hormones are very high, and if they don't orgasm, they get very very frustrated. It's a really big deal for men. Not a big deal for women. If she wants to orgasm, she needs to use her own fingers to stimulate herself during intercourse, instead of making you do all the work.

I think her selfishness is a lack of maturity, and I think you will eventually get tired of her immaturity. However, just enjoy things in the mean time.

[tptp]

I am the same in that I don't have to have an orgasm every single time to enjoy sex. You need to trust her when she says that. Relationships need trust.

That's a bit insensitive for her to have said that she prefers big dicks. You need to open up and tell her that while you appreciate her honesty it's a bit disheartening for you because you know that you're not as big as her ideal fantasy. You need to be able to communicate your feelings about this 'cause apparently she's lost on a little thing called tact.

Cowgirl is a good opportunity for her to stimulate her own clit. Why isn't she doing this? She should also help you learn how to stimulate her clit and you should be open to learning. If you two can't work together on this, then there is a deeper underlying problem with the foundation of your relationship.

Tips for clit stimulation: 1. LOTS of lubrication. Saliva, her own wetness, KY warming oil is awesome 2. Slow down. No sudden movements or jerky motions because the clit is basically made of nothing but nerve endings. It's incredibly sensitive. 3. Lots of petting and foreplay. You need to stimulate her body and bring blood to her nether regions. When a woman becomes aroused her clit becomes engorged with blood, the same way your penis does. When a woman is very aroused her clit will be a lot more exposed than if she were not.

Thanks for the tips, for some reason she hates all oils/lubes and whenever I suggest we try some she refuses?.

I don't think she is insensitive, it might come of that way because of how I framed my posts. She never complains when she doesn't get off during sex and when I ask her about it, she always reassures me that she still enjoyed it and doesn't need to get an O to be satisfied. Having said that, I know I am not ideally sized down there. Watch any porn and it is easy to see what size girls want, she is just expressing what she likes. I accept my limitations but, wan to use what I have to the best of my abilities.

@wakeup, I know women are good at faking an O but I am telling you that is the only way she reaches an orgasm. I can tell by her body movements when she has had one. She doesn't need to do it for me, I am very easy to please. If she wants me to cum all she has to do is talk dirty and talk about one of my fantasies. The jack hammer takes a lot of physical work and self-control because I can't finish before she does.

@bulrush, I agree 100% to a girl can become too lubricated. This has happened to me when she is extra excited. The combination of my size(or lack of) and how aroused she is, I don't think she can feel much because she is soo wet. I just slide in and out without much friction and it don't think it is very pleasurable for her. Any tips for that?

[vashti]

women are not like men. Men have to orgasm because their hormones are very high, and if they don't orgasm, they get very very frustrated. It's a really big deal for men. Not a big deal for women.

Who told you this bunch of crap?

Women get frustrated without orgasm, too. They are just too polite to say so until they hit their sexual peak. At that point, they just get disgusted with you.

[maxmax]

Who told you this bunch of crap?

lol ...

10char

[lahnnabell]

Also, OP, don't ever make assumptions about sex based on what you see in porn. Many of the guys that you see in blockbuster porn are freakishly large. I've seen plenty of porn where guys aren't packin' ACs (assault c*cks). For all you know, you may fall into the average range. Sometimes women are used to one thing though. A lot of my early boyfriends were really well-sized. The first time I saw a smaller guy I was surprised. I had only seen larger sizes before and so I had nothing to compare to. Now lately all my boyfriends have been of average or a bit more. But your GF shouldn't be making comments about sizes like that. Men are pretty sensitive about this issue, just the same way women are insecure about their breast size. You'd never blatantly tell your girlfriend that you like big boobs if she was smaller chested would you? If your size were really such a big deal to her then she should find a guy that's packin'. You can't change your size so it's pointless for her to say sh*t.

And vash is right. I don't have to have an orgasm every time, but it doesn't mean I don't get frustrated from time to time. If I do feel sexually frustrated, I'll tell my BF and expect that he help me to get there.

And what's the deal with her hating lube? Nothing more frustrating than being mentally excited and ready to go, but your body's holding you back. And saliva will only get you so far.

[tptp]

Also, OP, don't ever make assumptions about sex based on what you see in porn. Many of the guys that you see in blockbuster porn are freakishly large. I've seen plenty of porn where guys aren't packin' ACs (assault c*cks). For all you know, you may fall into the average range. Sometimes women are used to one thing though. A lot of my early boyfriends were really well-sized. The first time I saw a smaller guy I was surprised. I had only seen larger sizes before and so I had nothing to compare to. Now lately all my boyfriends have been of average or a bit more. But your GF shouldn't be making comments about sizes like that. Men are pretty sensitive about this issue, just the same way women are insecure about their breast size. You'd never blatantly tell your girlfriend that you like big boobs if she was smaller chested would you? If your size were really such a big deal to her then she should find a guy that's packin'. You can't change your size so it's pointless for her to say sh*t.

And vash is right. I don't have to have an orgasm every time, but it doesn't mean I don't get frustrated from time to time. If I do feel sexually frustrated, I'll tell my BF and expect that he help me to get there.

And what's the deal with her hating lube? Nothing more frustrating than being mentally excited and ready to go, but your body's holding you back. And saliva will only get you so far.

The lube thing, I don't know, I think the problem is when a guy is on the smaller side, too much wetness can be a problem because there is no friction. So she doesn't want to add extra lubrication if she doesn't have to. We usually spend a few minutes warming her up so it isn't a big deal.

Her breasts are on the smaller side (B cups) and she has asked me if I think she needs breasts implants. I told her I find natural breasts of all sized more attractive than fake ones and the only way I would support her getting implants was if there was some sort of deformity etc..

I just want to be her ideal man, not someone she settles for. I know I don't have the ideal package and I don't want her to be attracted to another guy because she wants someone bigger. Thus I really want to be amazing in bed. The frustrating part is when I question her about sex between us she doesn't tell me whole truth because she doesn't want to hurt my feelings. So I really look for other signs that she to tell me if she is liking what I am doing.