Is it unlady like?

[lexiib]

So not too long ago, my bf has been saying that I don't want to see him, and Im not making any effort to come see him .. because I wont get on a bus and travel to his house. He's been telling me to do that lately, even though he's been the one that comes to pick me up (45mins) and we go to his house (45mins). I don't have a car, but my grams thinks its the man's job I guess, and that he should be the one to come and get me. I guess he thinks that since he's coming to get me, that he's the only one that's putting in effort and the fact that I don't catch a bus, is because I don't want to see him, when thats not true.

any thoughts?

[HeartIsAching]

What, are we stuck in the 1950's?

Being as it's more difficult for you to take a bus, I don't know that half the time would be fair, but you should at least put SOME effort into it. Why the hell should he be the one stuck doing all the work? Especially with gas being nearly $4.00/gallon these days.

[jk876]

Hello. My ex-boyfriend was the same way. We were also in a long distance relationship except I was always the one driving to see him. Eventually I stopped doing that because I got tired of doing all of the work. When I did, he said that I didn't care about him and wasn't making the effort.

I also think that it's usually the guy who should do all of the driving but since your circumstances are a little different why don't you compromise? Do you ever go down to his neck of the woods? Is it okay to stay down there so you don't have to drive back at night? Or could you at least help out with gas money or something? It's expensive and 45 mins both ways is a long time and lots of gas. Yikes!

Good luck! I'm sure it'll work out

[IndiReloaded]

Ha, I once dated a guy where I did most of the travel, in my case a commuter train. He didn't drive either and I did. I put up w/it for a while as my family lived in the area, but I also got tired of it after a while and broke up with him. THEN he started coming to visit me. I even got a proposal, LOL. It was all very icky.

Anyway OP, no, its not his job to chauffeur you around. Expecting him to do so is inconsiderate, which is unlady-like. That's a lot of driving for your BF, esp if he is taking you home as well. 3 hours of travel for him by my math. 45 min each way X 2. Plus the fuel costs as mentioned.

So,
1. Gas is expensive. Offer to pay for some.
2. Take the bus there, esp if it is daytime/safe to do so. Mbe he can take you home if the cost is about the same. That's still 1.5 hours of travel for him (take you home and go back home himself)
3. Get a BF who lives closer to you.

What your gram is suggesting is you find a guy who is a pushover. This won't work for either of you in the end.

[smackie9]

Date someone that lives closer to you.

[Boisdevie]

If you believe it's his job to do all the travelling would you also be happy if he told you that staying at home cooking all his meals was ok because it's a womans' job?