At an impasse...

[lilxcutie53]

I really wish we could hear his side of the story......

Yeah me too, bc of course he isn't going to want to share his feelings with me 100% because well..hes a guy..so it would be nice to hear what he has to say to other people..

[Bluesidhe]

If I were your boyfriend I would dump you. 2 years without sex? Unless you're waiting for bs religious reasons that's a little extreme. Especially when your main reason for not having sex with him is because you don't trust him. If my partners didn't trust me after 2 years without good reason I'd be gone.

You're holding something that he needs hostage because he doesn't text you and he only hangs out with you one day a weekend. Do you realize how childish you sound? He can do better and you should be aware of that.

There are probably deeper issues that are leading to you not wanting to have sex with him and you should probably take the time to explore what those are. "he doesn't text me!" sounds like an excuse you're hiding behind. I think you're scared of something bigger and your intimacy issues are a problem that has nothing to do with him. Maybe you should work on that by yourself. Maybe you're not ready for a relationship.

[lilxcutie53]

If I were your boyfriend I would dump you. 2 years without sex? Unless you're waiting for bs religious reasons that's a little extreme. Especially when your main reason for not having sex with him is because you don't trust him. If my partners didn't trust me after 2 years without good reason I'd be gone.

You're holding something that he needs hostage because he doesn't text you and he only hangs out with you one day a weekend. Do you realize how childish you sound? He can do better and you should be aware of that.

There are probably deeper issues that are leading to you not wanting to have sex with him and you should probably take the time to explore what those are. "he doesn't text me!" sounds like an excuse you're hiding behind. I think you're scared of something bigger and your intimacy issues are a problem that has nothing to do with him. Maybe you should work on that by yourself. Maybe you're not ready for a relationship.

Why would you call them BS Religious reason..Just because YOUR not religious and don't have morals like that there should be no reason that you call them BS. I'm not saying I'm like that but you shouldn't call something BS even if thats something someone else believes in. and I haven't even said on here that I dont see where hes coming from. I know what it feels like to not get something I want. And using not texting enough as a reason for not doing that..does make sense, because its about reassurance..if your a guy you won't understand. Girls want security in their relationships...and gitrls have different needs..just because YOU wouldn't feel uncared about if your guy or girl didn't text you back DOESNT mean that it wont affect someone else. And when there are a lot of little things that do bother you..it adds up and sometimes its harder to see the full picture. I love him, but sometimes I only look at the small things and I realize that not be the best thing and I am learnign to get over that, but having these own personal issues isn't a reason for not being in a relationship. It doesn't mean that I'm not happy...I am happy...it just causes confusion in my head. If I were to right a pros and cons list of our relationship the pros list would be so much bigger..If he really couldn't deal then he would leave...

And you may think that I am some insecure girl that doesn't know waht their doing, but really...we all have our OWN issues that effect our daily life...and we come on here for a reason...SUPPORT..not to be bashed...

[Cerby]

Well, you are right, getting kicked around like you are hasn't really been fair.

But its time to write down a pros and cons list now for why to CONTINUE your relationship. If you list comes out with you definitively staying together, and you don't have a moral backing to holding back the sex, then go for it.

He has shown you supreme patience in waiting, and I think if you're as happy in your relationship as you say, you should get your f*ck on, pardon my french.

[smackie9]

You are starting to see he is slipping away why else would you be on here? You are dissatisfied, but happy? I feel he is having second thoughts about waiting any further......

[HeartIsAching]

She wasn't looking for advice, she was looking for validation of her opinion.

Since apparently after two years of waiting, her BF asking for sex is manipulation which makes her even more unwilling to give it up... I'm predicting that within 6 months he'll be gone.

I'm also predicting that she'll die a never-married virgin by age 60, with her petrified vagina covered in cobwebs.

[lilxcutie53]

She wasn't looking for advice, she was looking for validation of her opinion.

Since apparently after two years of waiting, her BF asking for sex is manipulation which makes her even more unwilling to give it up... I'm predicting that within 6 months he'll be gone.

I'm also predicting that she'll die a never-married virgin by age 60, with her petrified vagina covered in cobwebs.

Wow thats harsh...are you even married...? and i'm not afraid that he's slipping...trust me...we had another conversation like this back in December and he told me that he wasn't sure how much longer he would last and blah blah...and I still didn't do anything and almost 8 months later he is still here. I just figured that now since I'm asking for commitment its only fair that he gets what he wants too and I've come to the conclusion that maybe it is time because of allt he things we have gone through in our relationship and how we've worked through them, etc..I just wanted to see what people thought about him waiting 2 years. I mean all of my friends agree that he would of been gone by now, but sometimes you need to hear opinons of people you dont know.

[HeartIsAching]

Wow thats harsh...are you even married...? and i'm not afraid that he's slipping...trust me...we had another conversation like this back in December and he told me that he wasn't sure how much longer he would last and blah blah...and I still didn't do anything and almost 8 months later he is still here. I just figured that now since I'm asking for commitment its only fair that he gets what he wants too and I've come to the conclusion that maybe it is time because of allt he things we have gone through in our relationship and how we've worked through them, etc..I just wanted to see what people thought about him waiting 2 years. I mean all of my friends agree that he would of been gone by now, but sometimes you need to hear opinons of people you dont know.

Yes, it's harsh, and yes, I'm QUITE married.

You come here and ask for advice, then argue with every single person that gives advice that's contrary to your opinion - this means, WITHOUT QUESTION that you were looking for validation, not advice. You just want somebody to tell you what you want to hear.

I'm done with this thread, and I pity your soon-to-be-ex.

[bulrush]

Lilxcutie,
I hope my directness will get through to you and help you. I'll tell you things your shrink won't.

You are not meeting his needs. He should have left long ago. You are insecure and have hangups about sex, you care WAY too much about what other people think because you are inexperienced. Hence your sexual hangups. I don't care if you call it "religion", but you have hangups about sex. God made us to have sex and enjoy each other, just don't get pregnant. To think that sex is "bad" is blasphemous to God's intention.

Sex is a NEED for most men, especially young men. And he ain't gettin' it from you.

And you have no clue about men and their needs. Sex is a NEED. If they don't get it from you, they will get it from someone else.

Smackie9, HeartIsAching, and others on here have given you good, realistic advice, although it was sometimes harsh. However, we are very experienced and can detect when people really need a kick in the pants. That's all we were giving you, dear, tough love.

I think you need to find a religious man who doesn't need sex, ever. Because that's what sounds important to you. Like you are some "prize" to be won.

[Bluesidhe]

Why would you call them BS Religious reason..Just because YOUR not religious and don't have morals like that there should be no reason that you call them BS. I'm not saying I'm like that but you shouldn't call something BS even if thats something someone else believes in. and I haven't even said on here that I dont see where hes coming from. I know what it feels like to not get something I want. And using not texting enough as a reason for not doing that..does make sense, because its about reassurance..if your a guy you won't understand. Girls want security in their relationships...and gitrls have different needs..just because YOU wouldn't feel uncared about if your guy or girl didn't text you back DOESNT mean that it wont affect someone else. And when there are a lot of little things that do bother you..it adds up and sometimes its harder to see the full picture. I love him, but sometimes I only look at the small things and I realize that not be the best thing and I am learnign to get over that, but having these own personal issues isn't a reason for not being in a relationship. It doesn't mean that I'm not happy...I am happy...it just causes confusion in my head. If I were to right a pros and cons list of our relationship the pros list would be so much bigger..If he really couldn't deal then he would leave...

And you may think that I am some insecure girl that doesn't know waht their doing, but really...we all have our OWN issues that effect our daily life...and we come on here for a reason...SUPPORT..not to be bashed...

I'm not trying to bash you. I'm just trying to be realistic with you. You're not convincing him to do what you want by withholding sex, you're pushing him away. When you have a conflict with your partner you want them to understand why you're upset so that they will hopefully change because they want you to be happy. You don't want them to do something just so they'll get something back in return. Again, I think the issue is that you just plain aren't ready for sex and you should deal with that instead of harping on small, silly things. By the way, I am female and I've never required my past boyfriends to text me everyday or see me all the time. Love is not a text message to show you care. Love is shown through bigger actions like not having sex for two years because you love your partner so much you want to be with her anyway.-_- I'm not telling you to sleep with him, by the way, I'm telling you to work on your own intimacy issues instead of blaming everything on him.

On a side note, I may not be religious but I would categorize myself as very morally sound. The two are not mutually exclusive. I do recognize that most people from a religious background would say that my lack of faith makes me immoral and that's their opinion. Just like it's my opinion that their beliefs are bs. We all have a right to our opinions.

[Mathias]

Yeah me too, bc of course he isn't going to want to share his feelings with me 100% because well..hes a guy..so it would be nice to hear what he has to say to other people..

Stop this. Not only are you manipulating him with this stupid sex thing that you heard about as a stereotype of guys, you're throwing this other stereotype of guys on him.

Jesus. I've never felt more sorry for someone I've never met.

[MaidenMinx]

Wow, honey! Li'l sexist aren't we?

When I first responded to this thread I honestly thought you were looking to be reassured that his actions spoke loudly of his love for you. You got this reassurance repeatedly.

My husband just asked me what I was shaking my head at. I described your story. He said "The boys a saint! I'll buy him a hooker!"

The need for security you are displaying will never be filled by a man. No guy will ever live up to your standards at this rate and you will grow into a bitter old man hating spinster. Have you ever considered becoming a nun? God will love you forever and you'll never have to worry about the ickyness of sex.

[HeartIsAching]

and you will grow into a bitter old man hating spinster.

I said that on page 2.

[MaidenMinx]

I said that on page 2.

Apologies, I must have scanned past that. I have very little attention span today and way too much mental energy. Bad combo.

[HeartIsAching]

Apologies, I must have scanned past that. I have very little attention span today and way too much mental energy. Bad combo.

LOL, no apologies necessary. I wasn't bustin' your chops for it, just pointing it out/agreeing with you.