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Thread: My Girlfriend Has Molded A Useful, Sometimes Bitchy Tool When Needed.

  1. #16
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    If you take her to Seattle with you then not only are you codependent, I'd persoanlly think you were an idiot.

    You say your mother treated you the same way.. I would suspect then that is where your codependent nature was born... with her. Get therapy. Forget the evil woman who will never change for you or anyone else.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  2. #17
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    Borderline Personality Disorder (for her) and Co-Dependency (for you) are the first things I though of, reading your first post. I think Wakeup is spot-on.

    As to your last post - yeah... you are attracted to it because that's how your mother treated you. I know, I've been there. I hope it doesn't take you 40 years to get over it like I did. Wakeup's also right in that you do not love yourself and so you don't think you deserve to be with a woman that treats you well. That's such a hard one to get over. I still have bouts of it with my wife - I think "I can't possibly deserve a woman like this." And yet I know better - she MARRIED me.

    Seriously, get some help. See if you can find group therapy for battered spouses, it's usually cheap.

  3. #18
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    I spent a great deal of years in the brothels in Alaska when on the fishing boats and many of my relationships have been "short term" -- couple to three times a week. But ever since I moved here to where I am it faultered, as I took on the responsibility of someone else's problems almost immediately. Living with her she would give the car to the young guy she had on the side and he would take it back to his place so I would not have a way to go anywhere. Anytime she would leave town she would take the car and then have someone --family or boyfriend -- pick her up and leave the car but not at the house -- seemingly so I could not use it. I was controlled even from afar. The money --unemployment and financial aid -- I had had gone to her and the household and "buying" a family as i wanted to be a part of one and so i had no means to meet or go or take anyone out. I could of gone up to the brothels but I felt odd about that for some reason. I stayed at the house mostly cleaning and finding a ride to school -- sometimes her boyfriend on the side would come pick me up in her car that I should have been using since I was putting gas in it. I became a house boy and thought about craigslist but, as I found out, she trolled CL looking for signs. And fund them the day after Valentines Day. We had not had sex and I had bought her special gifts and I put ads out as a angered reaction which she found (I never intended to go there since I had no way) and established a repiore with the posters of the ad.

  4. #19
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    I will be 40 this Dec. but luckily look 5 years younger. We had fights -- I even went to jail for throwing peanuts -- literally Planters peanuts at her and breaking her daughter's cell phone which i was paying for --on a Domestic Violence charge which was reduced to DTP. I would yell horrible things to her out of anger and humiliation and betrayal and she would slap me and I would . . .well, there was cause for alarm. My mother use to rear back and slap me like that. Her daughter used my personal phone and new computer I bought while was in jail and my girlfriend talked to her boy on the side while I was in jail. I bailed myself out.

  5. #20
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    *sniffs* I'm getting a whif of troll ... O.o Surely this all can't be true.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  6. #21
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    Speaking of slaves and slaves . . .recently when we were having sex (our sex life has been blindingly raw and the only glue we agreed on) she told me, during, that I was "my ****ing slave". Disturbingly erotic, it turned me on. s that . . . unwell?

  7. #22
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    I did project that. I always have since my early 30s. I am capable in many ways other men are not . . . but I needed. To fill a void and wanted to believe that I was not just a prop, a bucket. I could never believe it was happening.

  8. #23
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    A troll? Oh yes, it is true. But I did invade her life, bringing with me a arrogant surety that I could straighten out her desperate issues. I wanted to save her from what I thought was a hard time. And she let me in and I didn't save anyone.

  9. #24
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    Just to clarify . . .no troll. I think to myself . . . what kind of weakened man would this happened to? Only one who is weak and not worth her attention anyway. If she senses and can expose your weakness and let it take you over, then she sees I am not strong and will make her just a helper and not a prize. That is how I am beginning to see it. Am I wrong to see it this way?

  10. #25
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    You have to see yourself as better than this situation. She is a piece of trash, and should be kicked to the curb where she belongs. Therapy would be benificial to you for sure....

  11. #26
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    What is the going rate on a pet girl friend? Can I barter or borrow one or two for practice?

  12. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mower Issa View Post
    Speaking of slaves and slaves . . .recently when we were having sex (our sex life has been blindingly raw and the only glue we agreed on) she told me, during, that I was "my ****ing slave". Disturbingly erotic, it turned me on. s that . . . unwell?
    Hi,
    If you really have submissive tendencies, in the bedroom and otherwise, you should find a LOVING dominant gal that will understand you. She won't take care of you but together you can explore your submissive side. Some men are submissive. Sometimes they are simply tired of being in charge all the time.

    PM me for a website that can help you with this.
    I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
    (Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)

  13. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by ctr916 View Post
    What is the going rate on a pet girl friend? Can I barter or borrow one or two for practice?
    The going rate for one night is a decent dinner, not fast food. And you have to be a decent person, not some loser without a car.
    I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
    (Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)

  14. #29
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    How about a decent person without a car?

  15. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by bulrush View Post
    The going rate for one night is a decent dinner, not fast food. And you have to be a decent person, not some loser without a car.
    What if I reimburse them for travel expenses instead of buying them dinner? Of course, it could be both if she claims to want to be a girl friend with benefits.

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