Why couldn't she just say it when i asked her, so i could move on ?

[WeAreODST47]

Sent a message to this girl I've liked for over a year, We text everyday, she would come to see me at work somtimes. Saturday gone we met up, went to the movies and then went to the local park and sat and talked for 3 and hlaf hours almost none stop, laughed alot, her mainly at what I was saying, hardlies any silence. Signs seemed good

The jist of the text was that I liked her as more than a friend and wanted to know if she felt the same and that if she didn't fair enough but I couldn't just be friends and would need to leave things if that's just how she saw me

She text back saying she did like me like that but because nothing seemed to happen and I was always busy that I wasn't interested so kinda got over the idea and just thought of me as a friend really. She also said if I didn't want to see her it was fine,she understood, whatever was best for me.

So figuring I had nothing to lose I went for it and just told her I liked her and wanted to take things forward and make something work with us and that I didn't wait this long to give up straight away. She replied saying she hadn't thought of me like that for a couple of months and that she didn't know, and that if I thought we couldn't be friends, then its upto me and that she got it.

So I replied saying if she didn't like me that way and nothing was ever going to happen then to just say now and i'd move on and I got it but she needed to say that so I wasn't waiting for somthing that wasn't going to happen. I thought she would reply saying nothing would happen and we would only ever be friends but she didn't reply all,

Why go out just the 2 of us to a park and talk and agree to she a movie if she didn't like me anymore and why can't see just say ''i don't like you that way anymore and never will again and nothing will happen with us'', just to let me move on from her ? Should I take it how it is and move on ? Is there any hope for us ?

[WeAreODST47]

She didn't text back when i asked her to just tell me she didn't like me if she didn't anymore so i could move on and i haven't and wont text her anymore unless i got a reply, so what attention is she getting there ?

[WeAreODST47]

By leaving it how it is now, it takes the attention she likes away, so i should expect her to come back for more attention at some point when i don't go chasing anymore ? So by forgetting her and not thinking about this anymore is the best solution ?

[WeAreODST47]

Thank you.

[WeAreODST47]

Yes i'm curious on other's opinions but i'm still following what we discussed, seems better for myself in the long run.

[WeAreODST47]

Finally told me and put the final nail in the coffin

''I used to like you, but realized that I liked you more as a friend and don't want to jeopardize that''

Friend zone ? No thanks.

[WeAreODST47]

Exact response was ''i used to like you but lots of things seemed to get in the way. The more i spoke to you the more i realised i like having you as a friend and dont want to do anything to jeopardize that.So i think its best we stay friends when you want to talk again x''

Hmm i'm not thinking logically so i'll go with your advice, i'm so tempted just to say '' what was the point of telling me you used to like me ? Rather you just flat out rejected me, just rubs it in. We never had a friendship so nothing is jeopardized. I'm feeling really bitter but relieved at the closure as well.

[MaidenMinx]

She didn't respond at first because she was probably thinking "I just answered that question twice."

You screwed up somewhere. "I used to like you that way but now consider you just a friend" could very well be paraphrased as "I used to like you that way but some where along the way you did something that turned me off you". That's just my 2 cents worth.

[Jenswaiting]

She was actually straight-forward with you and gave you an out both times. You stated:

She text back saying she did like me like that but because nothing seemed to happen and I was always busy that I wasn't interested so kinda got over the idea and just thought of me as a friend really. She also said if I didn't want to see her it was fine,she understood, whatever was best for me.

She replied saying she hadn't thought of me like that for a couple of months and that she didn't now, and that if I thought we couldn't be friends, then its upto me and that she got it.

Women don't want to hurt a man's feelings. The difference between women and men is that we will always give you the option of being a friend if we don't want to pursue a relationship with you. The plus side of this is that she is still letting you know that she likes you but isn't interested in pursuring a romantic relationship with you. In my experience men do not do the same and would prefer not to remain friends with someone that they aren't interested in.

All that being said though, I met a nice man back in January who was interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with me. However I told him I was seeing someone else but that I'd like to remain friends. Luckily we still are.

[MaidenMinx]

Again reading between then lines this means "I found somebody I like better". Its not his fault, and I don't think he screwed up.

Not always. A girl can be turned off one guy without having eyes for another.

[Jenswaiting]

That maybe their intention, but men need a clear "Yes or No" answer. Lets be friends or we are in a grey zone hurts worst actually...

I'm outright saying if a woman says "let's be friends" that will always be a no. A woman's actions will support this, check her body language, is she touching you or being affectionate? Doubtful.

Just a question though, when was the last time you gave a woman a clear No for an answer and how did you go about it?

[WeAreODST47]

Okay i havent checked this in awhile anyway, i missed out the words, in the part you quoted when it said ''he replied saying she hadn't thought of me like that for a couple of months and that she didn't now,'' the last part was meant to say she didn't know. Not like it changes much or anything for that matter. As said theres another girl now so i'm not fussed over being friendzoned, i am slightly annoyed however as she said she wanted to be friends and i text back saying yea i wanted to be friends and moved on (though i meant to say could move on) and i was happy and it had turned out better than i thought, in the week or there abouts since that text we have not had any form or contact or seen each other, some friend.

[Cerby]

You waited too long to pull the trigger, if you liked her all along you should have told her months and months ago.

I don't feel bad for you because this is a very valuable lesson that you can apply to future situations. When you want someone, you can't wait for them to come to you, she told you she liked you and you seemed disinterested and busy, so she moved on. If you had played your cards near the beginning, then you'd be with her right now.

Lesson learned, move on if you can't be her friend.

[WeAreODST47]

At which point did she tell me she liked me ? Had she told me then things would be different she didn't and i didn't either hence the current situation but thank you anyway.

[Cerby]

correction, she told you WHEN she liked you you seemed disinterested. Either way, it falls to the guy to make the first move. So you're still the one who screwballed the situation.