he wants "space"

[amy86]

Hey everyone. I'm new here and hope to gain something out of this site...even if it's just support. Sorry it's kind of long..

I met this guy just over 2 months ago. Everything was AWESOME in the beginning. We became inseperatable within 2 weeks. I found out that he had been casually texting a girl that he had been seeing prior to me. I found this out when the girl messaged me on fb. He had been overseas for work and i found this out 3 days into his trip. I couldn't call him (he's in the army) so i messaged him on fb telling him that i knew about her. I broke up with him. Anyway, after 2 months of him literally BEGGING, sending me flowers/presents, emails, messages...even so far as to message my mum...i told him that we would talk about it when he got back. Well, he arrived home a few days ago and the first 2 days were good. I didn't bring up anything negative..i knew how stressful the the trip to Afghanistan was for him. So i decided to bring it up on the third day. Well, he didn't seem to be paying attention so i had a go at him, and stupid me left his house to go home. As soon as i got home, i instantly regretted leaving his place and felt like an idiot, so i called him to try and patch things over. He told me that he would see me later, because he had made plans to see his friends and have drinks. I felt like he was going out in spite of the argument. Anyway, i messaged him a few times that night and he only responded to some of my texts. He wouldn't answer my calls. He told me i could go to his place anytime i wanted too, so i ended up driving there and waited till he got home (another mistake-i know). He got home at 3am and we had a big argument. His WHOLE attitude changed in just a few hours. I stayed the night (on the lounge) and tried talking to him in the morning. He hardly spoke to me and said that he thought we needed "space". He told me i need to have a few days without him because my moods are up and down and that i need to rethink whether or not we should be together and that he needed to think also. I told him that he just arrived home after being AWAY FROM ME FOR 9 WEEKS!!! He refuses to speak to me. I have done the stupid weak thing by texting him and he hasn't replied so i wont be texting him anymore. I just can't believe how quickly his attitude has changed. In the 9 weeks that he was away-he was DESPERATE...messaging me all the time, calling me when he could..and now he wont even speak to me...arg! I know what he did in the beginning was deceptive, but at the same time (and no im not making excuses) but i had only just met him. If he had dont something like that a few months+ into our "relationship", than i wouldn't be talking to him. He just seemed so apologetic i feel as though i can now put all that behind us and start fresh. What should i do?

[sadie_genie]

So, you only dated him for 2 weeks? Have you guys talked about being exclusive? He might be thinking all along that he is just casually dating you therefore he can date other people too. This probably doesn't mean much to him as it means to you from what you told me. He has told you he need a break so give it to him. But honestly, you haven't done anything wrong. You didn't want him dating other people so you broke up with him. If you two want different things, you should just leave him alone. This is what you need to do: 1) Leave him alone until he contacts you 2) Have a talk with him and ask him what he wants (date casually or what) 3) If he says he wants to date the other girl, accept his decision and move on. There are plenty of guys out there you can date, it doesn't have to be him.

[amy86]

oh, sorry..i didn't write that he CEASED all contact with her after all this happend. I have spoken to her and she told me that she will never talk to him again and he told me he has no interest in her at all.

[amy86]

and yes, we spoke about being exclusive days prior to him leaving

[Wakeup]

You should forget he exists. You hardly even know him and if he didn't jump on you after being away in Afghanistan then you are a low priority to him.

I'd assume his buddies have successfully talked him into forgetting you just fine and to quit with the flowers and begging someone he hardly even knew. You barely know this guy and you dump him for texting another girl? Okaaaaay.

Find someone who isn't in the army, who won't be leaving you every time duty calls ... I think you'll be happier. In future, try your best not to act so possessive so early on in your relationship. Two weeks is nothing.

[amy86]

yeah true. It was he who acted possesive though..just upets me..i'll just forget about him. Thanks for your input

[Dank]

Many more guys out there!