Needs space

[Worried in tx]

My husband and I have been married for 11 yrs and lately he has been wanting to go out more and says he needs space to figure out how he can be the husband he needs to be. I am sure he is not cheating so that is not even a thought. He wants to see if we can still be friends a requested that I give him a couple of months acting as through we are friends instead of married. He doesn't think either of us need to move out or even sleep in different beds. What should I do?

[smackie9]

You need to learn to communicate with each other better with the guidance of a professional. Seek out a marriage counselor.

[Worried in tx]

Not sure he wil go for too touchy feel-ly for him

[smackie9]

You both are there to talk things out and get the the bottom of your issues.....not some kind of sit in a circle beating a drum with a group hug at the end kind of soull searching couples camp.

[smackie9]

You dont know unless you ask......avoidance is a precursor to a failed marriage.

[Worried in tx]

Your right I will

[smackie9]

Its all in the approach...Don't say "I think we should see a counselor", Say, "How do you feel about us seeing a couple counselor? Lets just try a few sessions and take it from there. I hope you will say yes, I feel this can help us"

[Incognito]

You could also take the really indirect approach and say "I'm going to see a counselor to try and address our issues, you are welcome to come". If he doesn't come after a few visits then request his presence.

It sounds like he may be trying to work on your marriage in his own way, which is a good thing because he is putting forth effort, but it doesn't sound like a good plan. Let us know what happens.