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Thread: They never ask for my number. What am I doing wrong?

  1. #1
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    They never ask for my number. What am I doing wrong?

    Title says it all. I've had this experience 4 times in 3 weeks. When I don't have my kids, I get super stir crazy and head out for the evening. I'll find someone interesting to talk to. I've freelanced as a reporter and used to work sales, so I guess you could call me a conversation stater. We'll end up talking until all-hours of the morning.

    Then we part ways and that's it. They don't ask for any contact info.

    I guess I never ask because I figure if they don't ask me, they aren't interested.

    Someone help here. I'm so confused.

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    Maybe they think the same thing of you? That if you don't ask for their info then you aren't interested....

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    I know that guys are suppose to be the one who asks first. But nowadays guys are chickens. There is really nothing wrong with asking him for his number. It is like saying you think they are attractive and it is a compliment. Most guys will be flattered. But of course, there are a few losers out there who might reject you even though they are single (but they are likely to be the over-selective type who have unrealistic expectations). It might hurt a little if a rejection happens but you move on. Ask 10 guys for their numbers and you will end up at least a few potentials and you would easily forget about that ones who said "no".

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    Quote Originally Posted by sadie_genie View Post
    I know that guys are suppose to be the one who asks first. But nowadays guys are chickens. There is really nothing wrong with asking him for his number. It is like saying you think they are attractive and it is a compliment. Most guys will be flattered. But of course, there are a few losers out there who might reject you even though they are single (but they are likely to be the over-selective type who have unrealistic expectations). It might hurt a little if a rejection happens but you move on. Ask 10 guys for their numbers and you will end up at least a few potentials and you would easily forget about that ones who said "no".
    This if you want something go for it. Hell it's more fun picking and choosing who you go after then waiting for people to choose you ya know.
    Getting over a broken heart is like being on shrooms. -MaidenMinx

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    You really have no right to complain if you wait for someone else to do the work. This is not the 1950s. Ask him for his number and call him the next day.
    I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
    (Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)

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    Quote Originally Posted by bulrush View Post
    You really have no right to complain if you wait for someone else to do the work. This is not the 1950s. Ask him for his number and call him the next day.
    I'm not complaining. I'm just curious.

    I have friends who are constantly asked for their numbers. Not in lore, in actuality.

    So...general consensus is to balls up and start asking. Will do. I'm not afraid of rejection, I just don't want to be the one who gets the "oh, you misunderstood" line. Not a self-esteem hit, just kind of embarrassing. I can deal with someone not being interested, but I have a bit of a hard time feeling like a fool.

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    Maybe you are not sending the "single and available" signals to the guys you have been able to start up conversations with and talk for our hours. Have you tried any leading questions to prompt them in the direction you are interested in?

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    Do you want a relationship where you have to be the assertive one? There is nothing wrong with expecting a man to be a man and ask for your number, especially after talking all night long.

    Quote Originally Posted by NeverDated View Post
    I'll find someone interesting to talk to. I've freelanced as a reporter and used to work sales, so I guess you could call me a conversation stater. We'll end up talking until all-hours of the morning.
    Does this mean you do the approaching and initiate the conversation? If so, they are probably also expecting you to take the lead when it comes to the phone #. If you're comfortable being in the lead then go for it, the chances of rejection are low if you've been holding his attention for hours. If you want a more take charge guy then let the guys come to you and make them ask for it.
    Last edited by leoben; 02-08-11 at 02:25 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by NeverDated View Post
    I have friends who are constantly asked for their numbers. Not in lore, in actuality.
    Perhaps they are flirtier than you.
    Suggest the guys that you'd like to have sex with them. They'll be asking your number in no time. Guys want a girl with a high sexual drive.
    You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.

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    You can always try claiming that you are willing to hookup his guy friends with girl friends who may have a higher sex drive or simply may need to meet a quota; all he needs to do is call you.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ctr916 View Post
    You can always try claiming that you are willing to hookup his guy friends with girl friends who may have a higher sex drive or simply may need to meet a quota; all he needs to do is call you.
    What are you on about?
    -... --- --- -... .. . ...

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    Quote Originally Posted by maxmax View Post
    What are you on about?
    I dont think he knows the answer to that. He is a classic example of drug abuse and birth control all rolled into one.

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    Quote Originally Posted by maxmax View Post
    What are you on about?
    I am trying to discover how a nice guy can simply ask nice girls the equivalent to "Voulez-vous coucher avec moi" and expect them to want to become girl friends with benefits simply to help out and share some quality time together.

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    Quote Originally Posted by rafterman View Post
    I dont think he knows the answer to that. He is a classic example of drug abuse and birth control all rolled into one.
    You would be more credible if you actually had an argument.

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    What about offering to text someone? It could be an easy and convenient way to get phone numbers exchanged.

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