Used and direspected

**celticprincess** · 17-02-11, 06:31 AM

I've been seeing this older guy for the last 14 months, just a casual relationship. Over that period of time feelings started to develop on both our parts. I'll give you his brief history first.
When I met him , he just got out of a 10 year relationship. They had only split up a month previous. I met him at his vulnerable stage where he was still grieving.
From the start it was very casual , both of us agreed to never have anything serious and I was fine with that as I had been in a relationship 1 year earlier and didn't want commitment.
Over the 14 month period , he has only brought me out a hand full of times because his ex might see us and get hurt. We've went on hiking trips etc but that's about it.
I then started to realise that I was being used by him. Just calling around to hang out. So we stopped seeing one another a couple of months back and I was getting over him BUT then a month later he rings me to come back saying that he missed me. Of course I went back eventually.
Now, I'm just worn out from this. Just recently we hadn't seen each other for 3 weeks Nor spoken but we got in contact last week, I had suspicions that he was having sex with other women but didn't have proof. So the other night I called over to his and found a pair of ripped tights (freshly scented) on his bedroom floor, he denied it blatantly to my face. This is showing me absolute no respect , whatsoever. I can't get over the disrespect and it hurts so bad!
I'm done with this! Just how do I go about it?
Be harsh if you may just give me some direction as I'm a bit lost.

**SelflessnHumble** · 17-02-11, 07:18 AM

Are you ready for this?

(1) This is what happens when YOU choose to get involved with someone who was still with someone (emotionally) + (mentally) despite a month of being single.
(2) This is what happens when YOU choose to start a casual relationship based on: NOTHING
(3) You have no right to get upset about what happened, because NOTHING was established but casual sex, right?

Did you expect him just to have sex with you? Really? And what was reaffirming this? A promise? You didn't post that if you did. (Revealing)

What you need to do: is realize that you made the mistake of building a relationship on top of a preexisting one...These always lead to failure.
Then you need to get to know yourself and find out what you want in a relationship because THIS idea was a pretty dumb one.

(Hint hint) IF you truly respected yourself: he wouldn't have disrespected you in the first place. He didn't care: and neither did you. See that?

**sweetkissesforu** · 17-02-11, 07:18 AM

You are what is known as a rebound relationship and a user let him go you deserve better

**SelflessnHumble** · 17-02-11, 07:22 AM

Originally Posted by sweetkissesforu

You are what is known as a rebound relationship and a user let him go you deserve better

Ironically she viewed him as nothing serious also.

**IncognitoSir** · 17-02-11, 07:24 AM

You were NEVER exclusive........that is all.

**celticprincess** · 17-02-11, 07:30 AM

@ SelflessnHumble
Did you expect him just to have sex with you? Really? And what was reaffirming this? A promise? You didn't post that if you did. (Revealing)

Course you make a lot of sense. I was gullible to believe his empty promises. He did not want me too see other people and likewise ( this was decided 6 months in ). Hence why I was hurt!

**celticprincess** · 17-02-11, 07:36 AM

@ sweetkissesforu

Very True. I'll be having a talk with himself to say goodbye ;-)

**SelflessnHumble** · 17-02-11, 07:42 AM

Originally Posted by celticprincess

@ SelflessnHumble
Did you expect him just to have sex with you? Really? And what was reaffirming this? A promise? You didn't post that if you did. (Revealing)

Course you make a lot of sense. I was gullible to believe his empty promises. He did not want me too see other people and likewise ( this was decided 6 months in ). Hence why I was hurt!

If a guy's only promise to you is to be faithful to just your vagina: (but not your mind and soul) then he is more than likely going to abuse his promise because
he knows that women who give up sex are emotionally compromised. Next time: don't give him sex: and watch how long he sticks around.

**celticprincess** · 17-02-11, 07:50 AM

@ SelflessnHumble
I think, I'll be giving him up. FULL STOP!!

I like your honesty, big eye opener

Cheers!

**SelflessnHumble** · 17-02-11, 08:45 AM

Originally Posted by celticprincess

@ SelflessnHumble
I think, I'll be giving him up. FULL STOP!!

I like your honesty, big eye opener

Cheers!

You're welcome!

**miss hope** · 31-07-11, 12:55 AM

I think selflesshumble you talk the truth but you're a bit harsh, man !!

**smartguy** · 31-07-11, 01:59 AM

when you get a thought tat he is using you then you should discontinue the relationship...
because the relationship wont last for long since you got that thought

**Benni** · 31-07-11, 02:18 AM

Originally Posted by miss hope

I think selflesshumble you talk the truth but you're a bit harsh, man !!

Sometimes harsh is what it takes to open someone's eyes.

**Incognito** · 01-08-11, 10:33 PM

Sometimes dumb is what makes someone comment on a thread that died in February. (post 10 was posted on 02/17/11)

**Benni** · 02-08-11, 07:14 AM

Oops!!

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