Back story:
About a year ago I started seeing this guy. When we started seeing each other I wasn't looking for a relationship and was just getting over a bad break-up. But, of course, I'm a female and I started to get attached to this new guy. In the beginning he seemed interested (he called frequently, would arrange dates, shared personal information with me. . .) but we never solidified into a commited relationship. And I never brought up the topic because I was never threatened by the pressence of another. Until recently. . .
A couple of months ago I felt like he was pulling away. Calls and dates were becoming less frequent, he seemed to be engaging in new "facebook flirtations", and the kicker was that he went away for 4th of July weekend and not only didn't invite me but didn't even tell me about it. Obviously these are clear signs that he's "just not that into me". I took the hint and bailed. I sent him an email telling him that I'm "not built for 'friends with benefits' situations and that I shouldn't sleep with anyone until I'm in a relationship." He said he respected my decision and we didn't speak after that for a couple of weeks. Seems straight forward. But here's where I need some thoughts and opinions:
Two weeks after not speaking I was out near where he lives and asked if he wanted to meet up with me. He responded immediately and came out to see me. We didn't discuss the relationship and just hung out as normal (without anything intimate happening.) Not to mention he approached me with a "grand entrance" - playing an instrument, etc. He was trying to make in impression on me. . .
Then, a week later, I ask him to meet up again. He said "yes" but then "became busy". Clearly not a good sign and I decided I was completely going to let this go. He's clearly not into me. . .
But then I recently had a party that I had told him about in passing (but after being stood up decided I wasn't going to remind him.) Well, he remembered and came to the party. Not only did he come but he brought over "slushees" which he knows I like to mix with alcohol (something he clearly did for me because I'm the only person he knows who likes to do that.) He stayed until the very end and we kissed good-bye.
So. . .some honest feedback would be nice. I get that he's not ready for a relationship because I assume he would have brought that up once I said I didn't want to sleep with anyone I'm not committed to. But. . .is he contemplating it? Jumping to see me the first time, approaching me playing an instrument, and then bringing slushees to my party tell me there's a chance. But standing me up that other time throws me off and keeps me grounded that I might be getting my hopes up. Or is he looking to just be friends. . .?
I know I should talk to him about this but sometimes the feedback of others is helpful. Especially from the male perspective because I'd honestly like to know what guys think when they're in situations like this.