I need advice from the ladies..pleeeeease

[sjerbert]

So I was dating my now hubby and his ex would call all hours at night. We eventually moved in, she still called all hours at night and he wouldnt answer. So one night we had a discussion and he confided that he went to visit her and they hugged and talked he admitted that there was just something bout this girl and they had a connection but they were just friends at that point; he said he was completely happy with me. Time had passed and we were planning our wedding and he bumped into her at the store where we were processing our wedding registry items. She told him she had gotten married also. A month passed and she must've called him to tell him she was divorcing. She sent him emails saying she wishes him a good life but she's mad that she let him get away. Time has passed and we're now married. She has recently contacted him to do a plumbing job for her and I have a serious problem with this. Is it wrong of me to ask him to have NO contact with her?? We almost split up after I moved in bcuz she kept calling like 1, 2 and 3 am and he didnt answer the phone. His response is "You should trust me"; she's only a friend. Ladies, I do trust my hubby...I've never even seen this girl (not even at the store) and he tells me everytime they have contact. I simply DO NOT trust this chick. Pleeease give me some advice..I need to get over this and fast.

[bulrush]

Trust your gut. He should not do this plumbing job for this chick. She sounds unwell.

[Vanessa]

It's not ok for her to call those late hours at night. Why is he allowing her to and not telling her it's not ok? Friends don't call at 3 am to ask what's up. And of all people, why should he do her plumbing? She's clearly stated she regrets no longer being with him so by the sounds of it she wants him back. I wouldn't want her near my man either if I were you. I just don't understand his position concerning the situation. How does he justify her calling when she does?

[maxmax]

Sorry, but I hope 'plumbing job' is not a euphemism for something else ...

[sjerbert]

He told me this girl has been a friend for 12 years and regarding the phone calls...he says she "Just does that" and apparently did this with his previous exgirlfriend. He says that's why he doesnt answer the phone, hoping she'll get the message and stop calling. I want them to completely have NO contact, at all. She clearly doesnt respect his relationship.

[Vanessa]

There's a bigger chance she'll get the message if he actually tells her straightforward to stop doing it.

[sjerbert]

He tells me he has told her and she hasn't called at late hours for 2 months now. But she's popping up again with this plumbing job and frankly I'm tired of this chick. I even asked him to arrange a meeting with me and her. He says she said she doesnt have a problem with it but wants to know why...i told him for closure. Her response was "what if I told her that I know that you have chosen her over me but I will always love you" ....well...thats obvious. but I wanna say something to her. Dont know what...but something!

[HeartIsAching]

Your husbands' ex-wife is a control freak. That's why she's calling at all hours, and why she's suddenly re-interested after he's moved on.

Your husband is a doormat with poor communication skills. That's why he doesn't just tell her to stop calling, instead of "hoping she'll get the message."

You are right to be worried.

[sjerbert]

Should I confront her? He's obviously unable to communicate this to her in a way that's clear.

[smackie9]

If you step in and threaten her or tell her to go away, she will just step up the pestering making things worse. Your hubby needs to get a life and ditch this wacko.

If I had met someone with ex GF issues like this, I wouldnt go near him.....just my view on this.

[HeartIsAching]

If you step in and threaten her or tell her to go away, she will just step up the pestering making things worse. Your hubby needs to grow a pair and ditch this wacko.

If I had met someone with ex GF issues like this, I wouldnt go near him.....just my view on this.

Fixed for accuracy.

[Wakeup]

I simply DO NOT trust this chick.

Sweetheart.. it's your husband you don't trust. Short of raping him she can't do a effing thing unless he lets her... ya see?

You should be getting mad at your husband otherwise known as: Mr. GeeIDOLoveAllThisAttentionSheGivesMyEgoEverytimeSh eBegsForMe.

I'd be having a converstaition about boundaries with him.. Not because I didn't trust her, but I'd never trust my guy if he woiuldn't tell a brazen hussy to fk off so she stayed fkd off. He's totally diminishing your feelings and making you think you're nuts. Nice trick for the naive and easily snookered.

Sorry, but I hope 'plumbing job' is not a euphemism for something else ...

from what I understand, a lot of self-employed contractors/handyman use that line when their off for an illicit nooner.

*Disclaimer* I'm not implying that that is what is going on with Mr "Gee."