Having second thoughts about girl I've talked to a few times

[Mathias]

If something as silly as her having 8 speeding tickets makes you question whether or not you want to talk to her, cut her off. You are obviously not that interested in her anyway.

Also, if you wait 2 weeks to contact a smart girl she'll know exactly what game you're playing and won't contact you back.

Why are you bothering to proceed anyway? It doesn't even sound like you like her. If you respect her, let her go so some guy who actually likes her can approach her without you confusing things.

Everyone deserves to be with someone who likes them, and for her, that dude is not you.

This too, is weird, and an overreaction. People are allowed to look at warning signs and analyze them.

It doesn't mean he doesn't respect her or doesn't like her. Tone down the over the top rhetoric a bit.

[Wakeup]

Yeah we'll do that sometime.

WTF didn't you make an actually date and text her "Great are you free ____ We can do it then if you're schedule allows." I wouldn't have answered you either.

Also, if you wait 2 weeks to contact a smart girl she'll know exactly what game you're playing and won't contact you back.

^^^ Word!

The ticket thing tells me she's totally irresponsible. If she hasn't already given up on your wishy washiness then keep that in mind before continuing to try and get her to respond.

On a side note: text messaging while driving is a mild form of recklessness as well. Nobody means to do it to be dangerous but it is irresponsible and dangerous.

It's actually a moving violation here and it would be another thing she would be getting a ticket for if she were caught doing it.
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[robertdawson]

The speeding tickets don't bother me by themselves, it is just the kind of attitude it sounded like she had about it (e.g."I'm going to keep speeding as long as I don't have a wreck. Nevermind that the attorney won't even talk to me because I've had so many and my insurance is probably through the roof" (irresponsible attitude)). I don't know why you're trying to make it look like I'm being some big asshole about the whole thing. I could have quit talking to her, definitely could have made up an excuse why I couldn't help her instead of going out of my way to drive to the library, etc. but I didn't. Like I said, I am willing to overlook my gut feeling about the issue because she seems pretty cool otherwise. Also, I can't really like her right now as I've only known her for a couple weeks but I'm still fairly interested. The whole point of hanging out with her is to get to know her better.

"The ticket thing tells me she's totally irresponsible. If she hasn't already given up on your wishy washiness then keep that in mind before continuing to try and get her to respond." My gut feeling, but I'm going to give her a chance (that is if she'll hang out with me, haha)


Back to the question... she did not respond to my texts from yesterday after her initial invitation. While I'm aware there are freak reasons why people don't answer messages, most often it seems they think it is unimportant/don't want to respond. It was said that two weeks is too long to wait, but what is a reasonable amount of time to give her an invitation? Since she didn't respond I assumed waiting a while would give her some space..
What else was I supposed to say? How the heck is "yeah we'll do that sometime" bad? Am I supposed to have my schedule planned out for the next two weeks? I did ask her if she was going to be around, which naturally would have lead to me making a specific time.

Asking too soon makes you look like a loser, but too long and they'll get irritated at you (if they're interested). The earliest day I could do it is Friday, but asking someone to do something the first time on a Friday evening doesn't seem like a good idea. May be able to do it Saturday, but the next time would probably be Monday..
Should I try and contact her today?


Side note: "It's actually a moving violation here and it would be another thing she would be getting a ticket for if she were caught doing it." I was just saying that as an example, I don't know if she does this or not.

[robertdawson]

Also, how many days in advance should I set it up for (if she wants to go)? This is a fairly casual activity.

[Bluesidhe]

This too, is weird, and an overreaction. People are allowed to look at warning signs and analyze them.

It doesn't mean he doesn't respect her or doesn't like her. Tone down the over the top rhetoric a bit.

It's not weird. I honestly don't understand the point of pursuing someone you're not interested in. He's clearly not interested in this girl otherwise this issue would't be causing him to have second thoughts.

[Wakeup]

Asking too soon makes you look like a loser,

Said who?

but too long and they'll get irritated at you (if they're interested).

No irratated, more like indifferent to you. Take charge kinda guys show confidence. Most (all?) women like a confident guy.

, but if The earliest day I could do it is Friday, but asking someone to do something the first time on a Friday evening doesn't seem like a good idea.

Why is that?

May be able to do it Saturday, but the next time would probably be Monday..

Pick and date and call her and specifically ask her out on that date, if she says she can't make it then do a "how about this day then" thing and if she makes an excuse for that date too, then say goodbye and never contact her again because she's not interested.

Should I try and contact her today?

Yes and by phone (not text) if she doesn't return the call then fk her and the horse she rode in on. Rejection is just a lost opportunity... her lost opportunity, not yours *winkz*

Personally, I'd not call her. She's irresponsible with her own life and that of others as well as careless with money. Two red flags (IMO) and you've not even been on a date yet. Your call what You do though, of course.

Good luck whatever you decide to do. Confidence and the attitude that you have options is key.

[robertdawson]

Bluesidhe: You should actually read before posting. Said I liked everything else about her so far.

I tried talking to her and no response. Deleted the number.

Wakeup: How does waiting longer show a lack of confidence? What is wrong with a text? It isn't like I'm asking her on a serious date. Are (most) women that damn picky that if someone doesn't communicate in just the right way they're out? Screw that, they can get over themselves. Anyway, you're right, it sounds like she is irresponsible and doesn't care to piss away money. I was going to try and.give her a chance but now I don't even have to waste my time.

[Wakeup]

[QUOTE=robertdawson;742717]Bluesidhe: You should actually read before posting. Said I liked everything else about her so far.

I tried talking to her and no response. Deleted the number.

Smart move IMO.

Wakeup: How does waiting longer show a lack of confidence? What is wrong with a text? It isn't like I'm asking her on a serious date. Are (most) women that damn picky that if someone doesn't communicate in just the right way they're out? Screw that, they can get over themselves.

I'm not sure what you're on about here, you are the one that was overthinking when where how and why you should or shouldn't call/text/email/send a note via carrier pidgeion.. lol. I was asking where you got your information. I will say that in this day and age of cell and internet access everywhere that waiting days to call someone seems like you're not interested enough to make some form of pursuit.

*As for texting. It's very difficult to actually get to know someone through text when you can't hear hesitation, hedging, voice reflection, enthusiasm, boredom etc. At least when you're on the phone you can better gauge how she's (truly) responding to you.

Anyway, you're right, it sounds like she is irresponsible and doesn't care to piss away money. I was going to try and.give her a chance but now I don't even have to waste my time.

Next! Screw her and the horse she rode in on.