You need to teach her how YOU like it and then with sensual instruction get her to keep doing that. Kissing her while talking to her and telling her what you want will more likely get you what you want. She's obviously more relaxed in the sub role so slowly start getting dominant with her via instructional, sensual commands. With enough of that dynamic, she'll likely automatically start doing what you've commanded she do for you.
As always... Just my opinion.
“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion