This guy and I are coworkers(both single, 40, well placed in the same dept.). He started giving me signals around 6-7 months back( sweet gestures, trying to be around me, going out of the way for me, such affectionate look in the eyes, even conveyed thru his cousin that he is fond of me) and eventually I developed feelings for him, too. We knew thru the actions and gestures that there is a mutual attraction, though no one conveyed this in direct words. I even got emotionally attached to him. There was light flirting going on. Until 2.5 months ago, when there spread some rumor about both of us at work...in order to clarify this with him,( and i did not want to lose him), i did indirectly convey to him that i was into him. (My company does not have any policy against dating coworkers)Then all of a sudden, next day onward, he shut down completely on me..i was shocked and sad. When i tried to ask, i did not get a concrete reason; (but i felt that he made fun of me with his friends, once at least), I had a long face , was sulking, anyone could judge that i was feeling miserable. A week later, he did try to talk to me casually during the dept meetings, but i kept it short, as I was so confused and sensitive at that time. Then he went out for a 2-month out-of-state assignment( about which we knew well in advance). THere was no contact between us during that period.I did not eat or sleep right during the first few weeks, hoping that he would call...but i guess he was emotionally unavailable
Because we ( him, I and three other pple) were asked to work on a project after he came back, and i used these 2 months to heal and make myself strong, ( though inside i miss him soooo much, unfortunately i still really like him). So, now that we are meeting frequently for the project, we interact in an awesome but strictly professional way, some light jokes in between , too. But outside of that, nothing except greeting each other...I changed my route, so that i dont have to pass by his cabin. ( i am still dying to see him everyday, but i am just adopting defence machanism to protect myself from further hurt).
I have become quite strong now, but a big part of me still hopes that I and him can be together(I was in an abusive relationship 7 years ago and did not date/sex/flings since then). Now that i am not giving him any attention outside of the team work, he has started ignoring me that i am hating.
Am I doing it right, or should i loosen myself a little so that may be he will take a step forward. I have seen him secretly looking at me since the last few days.i know these thoughts are immature and childish but i really like him.
Please help guys... Thanks!!