Can't Figure Out Girlfriend

[Alex1234]

Hello, Im going to try to make this short and sweet. About 4 or 5 months ago I went to a football game at school. I saw one of my friends for about minute or so and come to find out one of her friends saw me and wanted to know about me. Like two days later my friend told her to Facebook me. She wouldn't do it. So my friend told me to Facebook her instead. I didn't care so I just sent her a friend request. We talked for a while then finally went out bowling with a few friends. We had a great time and at the end I kissed her and she went for it. After a few more dates and a lot of making out, I asked her to be my girlfriend. She was so happy she cried. We saw each other about every three days and whenever we were at my place we ended up getting more and more physical, even when we tried to watch a movie. But it never went further than me feeling under her shirt (Feel.... No look....).

This summer we both went on vacation. For about a month she was in another country while I was going to different states visiting family. All we had was a Facebook message every other day (mostly her not having internet). I got back a week before her. Then come to find out that she was staying another week to visit more family (This time in the states). She got back the night before the day I left for another week, so I never saw her. During these two weeks of her being back in the states, we texted everyday. She was always too busy in the day helping her mom so she couldn't talk on the phone. When she could, it was like 11 at night and I was already asleep. I was getting bored so I tried to spice things up a bit with a little light sexting. She totally shot it down and said " I don't like that, sorry ".

So I finally get back and she has to leave for a few days for family medical issues. So thats like 2 months without seeing her or talking on the phone now. She gets back 3 days later and we hang out. She then told me she was moving 3 hours away for school. There was nothing we could do so we decided to have a long distance relationship. Before she left we couldn't help but get more physical and we told each other we loved each other. She moved yesterday and we are texting and plan on skyping each other every few days. I also want to go visit her every other weekend.

She's 18 and I'm 19 and we both love each other and want this to work. She is great, a little shy and doesn't talk much, cares about school and family a lot, and I love spending time with her. But me being a guy, I need the physical part of the relationship. I honestly don't care if we have sex or not because I don't think either of us are ready. But when ever I did see her she would let me feel under her shirt but with limitations. Whenever I tried to look she would pull my hand away and cover up. I asked her what was wrong and she either shook her head or said "nothing". And if I felt around, I had to be kissing her or forget about it, same boat, she would pull my hand away and cover up. She wouldn't even let me see her bra. Recently, we went farther and did some over the jean rubbing with hands. If I asked her if she like it and she would just nod her head. She wouldn't tell me anything to make her feel better so I was constantly guessing (Again I couldn't look or it was over). I took her hand and put it on my jeans right on my.... well ya.... happy place. She went for it but stopped only after about a minute. She would even stop me if I went over a minute rubbing her (again only over the jeans cause if I went under the jeans it was done).

I am so confused about what is going on. Why won't she let me see anything or pleasure her? I mean she has her hands all over me (Under my shirt when we are alone and above my shirt when we are in public). She told me she doesn't like to talk when we are getting physical. I am open to pretty much anything she does as long as its doesn't get any kinkier than her pinching and nibbling on me. She knows I love her and think she is beautiful but won't tell me why she is limiting me.

Any advise? Thanks.

[MerryH]

She...won't tell me why she is limiting me.

She's not comfortable with it. That's all. There may or may not be a concrete reason why, but that doesn't really change anything, does it? This is how she is at the moment. If you can't/don't want to deal with it, then you should break up with her. You wouldn't be wrong for ending it (as long as you did it in a respectful way), you two just aren't compatible in that area and never will be if she refuses to talk about it.

[Alex1234]

Any ideas on how I can encourage her to talk about it? Or make her more comfortable with me in general. I've tried just hanging out with her without getting physical, but she's just so damn cute and starts picking at my clothing. I really don't want to break up with her just because she won't talk about it.

[MerryH]

I really don't want to break up with her just because she won't talk about it.

Then you're going to have to mostly deal with it. You get this, right?

As for encouraging her to talk about it, in an intimate moment, try one or more of the following:

"I love it when you [whatever]" then "I love doing [whatever] to you. Do you like that?"
"You are just so damn cute that I can't keep my hands off you."
"I'm dying to know what your bra/panties look like. What color are they?"
"I love that you're so shy. But I think you're the sexiest girl on earth, so you don't need to be that way with me."
"Show me your tits. Now."

Flatter her, make her feel sexy, reassure her, etc.

[Alex1234]

Ya I understand. Those are really good. I'll try them!