The new neighbour

[xhazelz]

My boyfriends new neighbour moved in three weeks ago, she knocked on his door and wanted to get to know the people in the building. So on Wed he took her out for drinks to show her some places. He told me about this the next day. Then I go down to my boyfriends on the weekend, Im in work on saturday, So after work i come back to the flat, he turns up an hour later and he had taken the neighbour shopping to show her the city. He said he was going there but didn't tell me he was going with her. And the neighbour invited me and him to come round for drinks later.

The next week the neighbour invites my boyfriend round to hers for drinks, they have drinks till 4 in the morning, he then tells me about this the next day. This week i am in work again on the saturday and i tell him what time i finish, he says he's going to lunch with the neighbour. So i finish work and he's still out with her drinking so i meet them, and get invited for tea around hers as her friend is coming too. So where having tea in the neighbours and my boyfriend shows me a present (house warming gift) he bought the neighbour. And he told me that as he did this she pulled a face behind my back to say you shouldn't of told her. whats that about?

should i be worried?

i have spoken to my bf about this situation but he thinks theres nothing to be worried about
I have told my friends and they said they wouldn't be happy in this situation and that alarm bells would be ringing. .

[MaidenMinx]

The fact that your bf is apparently telling you everything they are doing together there is probably little to worry about.

Having said that, I'd be not so impressed with her. It sounds like she likes your man. Has she made any other friends in the building?

[TheChris]

OH GOSH. I am so sorry....

I am going to be completely honest and TRUE about a man that has TRUE love for their woman/partner.

There is NO REASON a man would spend time with another woman in such a manner without inviting you too. There's just not, plain and simple. YES- he can paint a picture about how dear and loving he is towards your emotions, but honestly, the moment he started this game of cat and mouse with the neighbor, it's not tending to YOUR emotions, just his own desire to play with someone else.

Sadly, I am talking through experience, when I allowed someone dear to me go out and have fun with 'friends'. This comes as a realization that if HE LOVES YOU- there is no need for doubt. He would invite you over as many times as possible and be trying to get into YOUR 'sweet spot' instead of getting to know the neighbors. I am truly sorry, but yes, the second you feel that warning in your heart, its probably true. And I am going to say THIS as a man...

" You shouldn't waste your time with anyone who lies and does not commit to the relationship. That is not a man, that is a coward. He could AT-LEAST tell you the truth, right? ...Right."

Until then, please take care of yourself. Peace.

-Chris

[xhazelz]

No, half the flat is empty, she has made other friends else where. she moved here as she got a job but doesn't start it until september. I thought she might just be using him to kill time. But she had a guy come down half way across the country who she calls her bf. But also she has a tatoo guy who she likes, he has a gf but she has gone on dates with him and he wants to come down to finish her tatoo. she said how can i resist him. So that worries me too that she doesn't seem to care. The old neighbours where up there selves didn't say hi, so i don't know if he's just being friendly and hes quite naive.

[MaidenMinx]

Oooooh, not good.

From what I am reading, I think you can trust your man, but if I were you, I wouldn't trust her as far as I could kick her. Keep an eye on things but try not to stress.

My hubby is also naive and I have had to tell him often that certain chicks were flirting with him and he has never been able to see it. I trust him completely, especially since I know he didn't know I was flirting with him until I kissed him. Lol. :p

[devonbrown]

It sounds like things are innocent so far. The fact that your boyfriend is telling you everything that is going on is a good thing. And the fact that the neighbor invites you over as well is a good sign. She may be a bit interested in your guy, but if you trust your boyfriend, then I wouldn't worry too much. Just let him know you think she might have a thing for him and for him to be aware of it.

Despite what some people might say, men and women can be just friends. However, if you push the issue too much, then you might make your boyfriend frustrated at your insecurities. And you don't want that. So just relax, but stay alert.

Good luck.

[Vanessa]

Mm I don't really think it's appropriate for him to be staying up having drinks with an other woman who's practically a stranger 'til 4 am. He's telling you everything so he's got nothing to hide, and I get that he's trying to be nice to the new neighbour, that's lovely, but he should have clear boundaries concerning his hospitality towards this woman.

[Wakeup]

they have drinks till 4 in the morning

totally inappropriate behaviour for a man in a committed relationship. I wonder how he would feel if you were drinking with a male neighbour until 4 in the morning? As Vanessa says he's crossing a relationship boundary and You should tell him that he is and that it bothers you. If he continues to drink alone with her for all hours then he's made her a priority over you as far as I can see.

[Ric]

Some of his behavior seems inappropriate, but I doubt there is anything behind it. Just talk to him about how you consider staying up till 4 am with some girl to be inappropriate, I'm sure he will understand.

The girl, however, would probably bone your man the first chance she gets.