help with what i should do

[Maze801]

ok so i was dating this girl at the start of december 2010.. we went on a few dates and then decide we should be in a relationship after about a month of dating. she has a son which at the time we met was 7 months old which i completely fell for i love the boy more than anything and i treat him as if he was my own his real dad is a POS and has never attempted to see him or anything.. well back to my relationship we recently broke up in june she is a horrible person and very selfish, she treated me like trash and had told me that she still had feelings for her ex when we broke up.. during our relationship i had paid for child care for her son bought her groceries did alot of the "Man" stuff.. one day she just started being very silent and short with me and had told me she just didnt have feelings for me. which i took well im a very understandable person. so we broke up hardest part was leaving her son cuase i grew so attahced to him.. well a few weeks past she starts texting me saying she was dumb for breaking up with me and she wanted to try it again and that im the only one that has ever been nice to her and treated her right.. of course i said we can try well during this next time around.. the same bs happens she gets really mean with me and we break it off again... well her son needs to have surgery on his kidneys so she asked if i will go with her to the surgery of course i will they have to stay a week at the hospital and she asked if i would stay with her so i stay a whole week sleeping on the hospital floor there with both of them to make sure there good and ok.. about 3 days after that she texts me and says she doesnt wanna see me no more and its over for good.. i take it hard because im reallly attached to her son by now hes calling me dad which she insisted he call me i didnt suggest it at all.. he is about 13 weeks a this time.. ok here comes the part i need help with

we havent talked since june and she texts me this week telling me shes sorry she took her son aay from me and a good father figure away from him and the same i was good to her and he was dumb. well im really good friends with one of her buddies and she told me that she was telling that she was only using me to help her with her son that she didnt care for me at all.

so today she texts me and asks if i can come hang out with her and her son and that he misses me and she does to.. my question is should i?? i mean i would love to see my monster again... but i am thinking that she is maybe trying to use my feelings for her son against me to try and help her out with some.. any advice would be appreciated
thanks in advance
MM

[qwertz]

Yep, she is using you. She is also being very selfish in doing this to her son. You are never going to have regular access as he is not your son by blood. I say cut all ties, have nothing to do with this woman again and dont let her use her child to get what she wants.

[MaidenMinx]

Oh dude! That just sucks.

Don't go. Save yourself the heart aches.

Getting attached to other people's babies sucks, especially when the parents are arseholes. Take some time to greive your lost expectations and let go.
I'm sorry you have to be going through this.

[devonbrown]

I agree that she is just using you. And while you care about her son, there is not much you can do in this situation. You have no legal rights and you shouldn't have to deal with her crap.
Now, pay attention to this - when you decline and say no to her, she will blow up at you and try to make you feel guilty. She will try to use your care for her son against you by trying to make you feel bad that you aren't going to see him. But understand that she is just trying to manipulate you.

Her son is young and in all honesty when he grows up will not have much if any memory of you. Add to that that the woman is going to parade however many other "father figures" in front of him over the years. I feel bad for him.

I wish there was a better way to answer this, but there really isn't much here. You know she is using you and doesn't care about you. And you have no way to see her son without her. So you just have to remove yourself from the situation. I'm sorry.

Good luck.

[Maze801]

Thanks guys for the response I apreciate it.. It sucks but your right I will not let her do this to me.
MM