So Confused.... Please help

[sleeplessinvan]

Hello,

I am a young woman and Im really confused and I need help. A year ago, I met a man on Plenty of Fish and we went on a few dates and it went quite well.... Then after that things just sought of fizzled: I felt like I wasnt really that into him and I guess he decided the same because we both just simultaneously stopped communicating and that was the end of that.

Then in the Christmas season of last year we got in touch again, went on a few dates, things seemed to run smooth but then I went to Africa on vacation for a few months and I knew that just when I coming back he was going on a vacation for a few months....so once again we lost touch.

About three months ago, I added him onto my Facebook and we got back in touch. We immediately started dating again but unlike the last two times, this time things were going GREAT!! He seemed attentive and serious, and told me that he was looking to really try this time and hopefully see our relationship go long term. However, like most couples, we dont see each other everyday, which is totally fine and normal and I wouldnt expect it any other way. The problem is, sometimes he will go for days and days....maybe even a week without texting me or calling me.... I might text and then he might reply once but wont reply to anymore so then I just wait and wait then after a few days of not hearing from him, Il send an email saying its done and I dont want to see him anymore since hes obviously not that interested if he cant even bother to stay in touch. When I sent an email saying it was done he immediately phoned me, apologizing profusely, explaining that he just gets busy sometimes and that maybe we have a cultural difference (we are two different races and nationalities) and then he'll immediately come to pick me up, spend time with me and reassure me that we are very much in a relationship and that we are in it for the "long haul". Ofcourse, I foolishly forgive him.

Anyway, this time its been over a week since I heard from him. I texted him about 3 days ago and no reply. I just feel like if he cares, he should make the effort. And I feel like if he doesnt want to date me anymore, how can he lack the common courtesy to just tell me instead of just resorting to ignoring me. And it really hurts my feelings because I now really care about him and I am also REALLY EMBARRASSED because I had already told my friends and family about "us". And now they keep asking about him.... WHAT SHOULD I DO???

Also, there is another guy who is just my friend but he seems really interested in me, texts/ calls atleast once a day, always asks to hangout with me etc. Should I just replace the one who doesnt care with the one who does?

[smackie9]

Why do you ask? isn't it obvious? You have expectations that are not being met by this guy...call it quits hun.

[Wakeup]

I feel like if he doesnt want to date me anymore, how can he lack the common courtesy to just tell me instead of just resorting to ignoring me.

Because if he tells you he's not interested then you will close the door that you keep open for him to just walk through whenever it suits him. You are basically a booty call and you are putting more into this "thing" then he obviously is.

Don't call or answer the plentyoffvuckbuddies guy again, just let that die. As for the friend, if you're not feeling him like he's feeling you, then don't do the exact same thing to him that the POF guy just did to you.. that being string him along while you pretend cause it's better than being alone.

[sleeplessinvan]

Thanks for your replies. I dont know. Maybe Im just kinda stupid because I believed him when he said that he wanted to marry me.... I was taken aback when he said that and it made me think he was really taking this seriously.

[sleeplessinvan]

and about the friend, I think I am feeling him but maybe its just a rebound feeling that is making me feel this way.... But him and I (the friend) have set up a date for Monday night so I guess I can decide then if I am feeling him or not.

[Wakeup]

Here's a hint to keep in mind should you head back to plentyoffvuckbuddies for more fishing. If a guy goes weeks or months without contacting you or wanting to see you then you are a booty call that's shown him that you're reliable no matter how much time has elapsed. If the site's reputation proceeds itself ~ the guy was probably married.