Well, i just wanted to talk to someone.. About this horrible situation i still cant seem to get out of.
Getting over my ex was going pretty well. I thought i was doing well, it has been a few months and even though i still missed him terribly, i felt a little better.
Well my friend talked me into going out last night.. I didnt want to, because i knew my ex would be out. But figured after some persuasion it would be good for me to get out and have some fun and just stay away from him if i seen him.
Well, i just had a terrible feeling about it, i felt so nervous about everything.. but decided i was just uneasy about going out for the first time in a while. When we got to the bar, he was their, completely wasted. I ignored him and his dirty remarks and things were going well, seeing him hitting on other girls was a stab to the heart at first which completely turned my mind from having any sort of fun.
I couldnt take anymore, so left feeling really upset. I said goodbye to my friends and called the cab and waited.
I seen him walking towards me, i figured he might have an apology or something .. anything nice. But no, he starts calling me names.. again. I told him to f*ck off and started walking away calling the cab to see where it was. He grabbed me and bit all my face, my shoulders and hit me in my eye.. Then slammed my head on the pavement.
The cab pulled up just as it was happening and i jumped in and we went on our way. The cab driver tried to persuade to go press charges on my way home but i just couldnt.
Everybody loves my ex in town, it would cause so much hassle for me its not even worth it.. If i was to move away i would, but not when me and my daughter have to live here..
This morning, i feel sore, bruised and cut. I feel heartbroken he could even do something like this.. I just dont know wtf i did in my life to deserve this.. I just dont understand.. I feel alone again, i dont want to tell anyone about it and cause fights and trouble..
I miss him, i dont miss him, i hate him, i just cannot seem to forget about it all.. Now today i text him like an idiot.. i feel like i am back to step one and i just hate it..
This sure got rid of all my intense sexual cravings thats for sure. I feel SO low.. I just wanted some kind words or someone to talk to really.. How can i possibly bring this up to anyone.. I have to work tomorrow and everybodies going to ask what has happened to my face.. Im just so embarrassed.. I just loved him so much i just dont understand what happened and why he is doing this to me.. How can someone do this to another person.
I fear i will never forget about him. I wont be going out again anytime soon thats for sure.. He has ruined my life..