Help!

[FrankOwen]

Looking for some female advice on my situation.

My ex told me seven months ago that things were finished. Admittedly, things hadn't been great, primarily due to my drinking (from which I was four months abstinent), but I thought in my heart that we were on the road to recovery. She felt differently and thought we were too far gone to be saved.

Fair enough, says I. Nothing you can do once one person feels like that no matter how much it hurts.

I decided straight away that I would be going down the no contact route, all the while continuing to make little improvements within myself now that I was sober.

She on the other hand, was still in contact roughly once a week usually with the most tenuous of excuses. I still stayed back and never initiated contact until about six weeks later, when in a fit of panic, I told her that I thought our situation was crazy and told her how much I loved her. She seemed to be pretty miserable as well but went quiet on me for a while before starting up with the contact again.

It's now almost eight months since she ended things and the contact continues. I asked her the other day what it is that she's looking for from me and could she clarify my position within her life. She became pretty upset but didn't really answer the question. It's all very confusing.

Sorry for the longwinded first post, hope someone can shed some light on what's going on in that mind of hers for me.

[Kyrina]

The trouble is she see's you change and with the pubs open all day in your beautiful country,she may see it as a temptation that you cant ignore or will slip back to.Congrats to you for abstaning from drink for 4 months keep it up.The way to prove you want to change is to do so,women like action more than words and your doing it.
I would say she still has feelings for you but she protects herself incase you fall back on the booze.If you feel strong enough,to ask her to dinner to talk about where you go from there, she will be watching for you ordering booze so dont order it let her see you trying, but only do this if you feel you are strong enough and can remain so even if the news is bad for you.
Too many people in Scotland are addicted to booze and the people are fiercely proud of its country,if your not native bah I would normally say stay away and fix yourself first but scots are a different breed of men so i think you have the strength inside you to abstain and use that strength.
Good luck to you and keep it up *hug*

[FrankOwen]

Thanks for the reply.

Just to clarify, I was sober for four months when we broke up. I'm now over a year sober.