Does she / Doesn't she?

[workingprogress]

Hey there,

I dated this girl for 2 years and towards the end it got real stressy with MAJOR issues and in the end we split. This was 12 months ago. Last week, I have been receiving texts and calls from her asking if I want to go to the cinema and stay at hers and go away for a weekend for her birthday with her and her kid. I said NO as I fear I will fall in love and get hurt again. Only then does she say that this wouldn't happen and she wouldn't want to be with me as she wants to be with someone she is physically attracted to as personality is not enough and that she has been seeing another guy for the past 2 weeks but not taking things too seriously yet.

I mean, why is she asking me to spend her birthday weekend with her? Meet her etc when she is seeing another guy? She says that it is because her kid misses me (not my kid but he did see me as a Father figure). Sure, I love and want to fight for her but vocally she is making it very clear she doesn't want to be with me but her actions are different. I live 200 miles away from her in the UK and she even said that if I am not prepared to come to her, she will come to me with the kid.

Should I believe her when she says she doesn't want to be with me and that she is seeing another guy and to say no to meeting or should I take the risk of getting hurt and meet her and attempt to work things out. Maybe this is just a power thing as she wants me to meet her only for her to put me down?

I am not sure and a female perspective on this would be great.

Many thanks.

[sljohnst]

I think she still has feelings for you, and is likely just confused. The "other guy" is probably an attempt to make you jealous. Women tend to be quite passive aggressive, and she maybe can't tell you directly how she is feeling, but her actions are clearly suggesting something. I would have a serious talk about the reasons why you two broke up, and if anything has changed since then. If you both want to be together, then try to work it out. I doubt she is doing it as a "power thing"