Do I owe an apology?
Yet another issue with a friend. Yes I am terrible at friendships.
Hubby's best friend decided to get all upset about hubby and I eloping. 6 weeks after the wedding, I wrote to his best friend on FB saying he seemed upset and that I would like to apologize / explain. Not much came of it.
I spoke to hubby about it and hubby didn't seem to care that his best mate is upset. This confused me. I eventually found out that his best mate had called after his last visit to tell hubby all the things the best mates girlfriend doesn't like about us. Naturally this pissed hubby off (it was quite a list).
Last weekend, hubby got an SMS from his best mates girlfriend asking him to please call his best mate and not risk throwing away the friendship. This pissed me off. I couldn't and still can't understand why she felt she had to stick her nose in. Hubby and I discussed it all and agreed that life would be so much easier if she kept her nose out of things. The next day I was still annoyed and sent her and SMS telling her that hubby was not concerned with calling since she felt it necessary to have the best mate tell us everything she doesn't like about it. I told her to back off and let the guys sort it out in their own way. His best mate called a few hours later, hubby and he 'sorted' everything out but apparently my message had his gf nearly in tears.
I might add here, I've come to dislike her immensely over time. She told me rather early on that she doesn't like my best friend, fair enough, BUT she now expects that my best friend will never be around when she visits. Half the complaints against us she has made are about things we have asked if she is comfortable with before we do it (eg. She's allergic to cats. Before she comes over here I have always vacuumed just before she arrived and kicked the cat out. Last time she was here, the cat was whining pathetically at the door. Hubby asked if she would mind if we let him back in -not hubby's smartest moment- but she said that she would be fine about that, and then added it to the list of things hubby's best mate had to tell him about)
I would like to apologize, if only to make life easier for hubby's best mate, but I am also relieved she got the message. Do I apologise and risk her sticking her opinion into everyone for ever? Or do I accept the fact that I was harsh and let it go?
Oh it might help to know that even though they have been together for 3 years, I have no confidence that they'll be together forever. She is his first gf, and they are living in the same home as her ex husband. She has dragged him to another city, away from all his friends and family.
'People are never perfect but love can be. People waste time looking for the perfect lover rather than creating the perfect love' - Princess Leigh-Cheri from Still Life With Woodpecker.