Too soon?

[bohemiandonut]

Since I would hate if someone told me to go read their other post, I'll lay it down.

My girlfriend of 8 moths broke up with me, cruelly (i'm not "fun"), just yesterday. She is getting off anti-depressants and needs to work things out. I saw it coming since Friday, and so spent the whole weekend getting over her, however preemptive. I feel okay now, and am in No Contact mode. (Not that she's tried to contact me... yet.)

Though I feel the occasional pangs of loss, I seem to want a new relationship really bad. I am, well, I don't way to say obsessing, but almost, over a girl at school. I've known her for years, but strictly at school. We get along well and laugh a lot. Even during my relationship with the ex, I still kind of, er, fantasized about her.

My question is, am I being to hasty? Do I need time to settle so I can be fair both to this new girl and myself? I feel like maybe I'm just rebounding, but then again I have liked her for a while.

Prom is this year, and it's february, so there's that. She sits next to me so anything weird will be awkward. (I.E.: Ask her to prom, then ex wants me back... *shudder*)

Well, any thoughts?
Thanks in advance.
Peace.

[C1d6OC]

Let yourself get out of rebound mode first. That is, don't go after this other girl based on missing that feeling of comfort. If you like this other girl, that's not wrong, you're not being too hasty. Go out and have fun with her, but don't jump into this whole relationship thing just yet. It's not bad to go to prom or whatever you want, you're SINGLE now and that means you don't have to care what your ex thinks. You haven't moved on, but you'd like to move on quick. Having fun is the key to that.

Glad to see you're following what others don't with the No Contact. Keep it up and I think you'll do just fine.

Cdoc

[bohemiandonut]

Yeah, I guess I was fixating to keep my mind from wandering backwards. I'm trying to just be careful.

Thanks.

[mhussain]

mate,
if u like a girl u like her. there is no particular time that u have to wait for the moon to arise. yes uit is extremely difficult to get over her but be lucky that tjhere is a girl with u who u like and u can get involve in a rel;ationship with.

best of luck mate and go for it

Hussain

[bohemiandonut]

I'll keep that in mind, Hussy, thanks!

[cycletease]

You are on the rebound...and there is really nothing wrong with that. If you are hoping that this girl will be the one you marry, the timing is probably not good then (especially since you are in high school). Rebounding has become a dirty word but it really isn't that bad. It actually compliments the No Contact rule, of which we are all familiar.

The point? Go out, have fun, take her to the prom, go out with any other girl you feel like. You are young, free of obligation and should be dating.

Rebounding is only a problem if you hope for a serious relationship with someone. Until previous relationship issues are reflected upon and resolved it is difficult to start a healthy new one. Since I don't think that applies in your case, 'bound on!

[mhussain]

hey mate(bohemiandonut)

no offense but i kinda like my name and would prefer to be called by that one please

again no offence

hussain

[bohemiandonut]

AHAHAHAhA!!! You like your name??? Are you completely, 100% ignorant of current events and the world in general??

Oh well, to each his own.

Whatever you say, HUSSAIN HUSSAIN HUSSAIN HUSSAIN HUSSAIN...

Current mood: AMUSED

[bohemiandonut]

Ahhhhh!!! Oh God! She's IM'ing me!!! Nothing big yet, she's just asking when the library book of mine she has at her house is due back. I had e-mailed her to "please return it."

No Contact means no contact though, and if it's not absolutely essential, I refuse to even talk to her... right?? She can figure out a library book on her own if she can figure herself out on her own.

Oh God, be strong, be strong.
HELP!

[cycletease]

You did the right thing. Perhaps not even replying would have been better. Most library books have due dates on them and a book is truly not something critical. Mostly when I am hearing about contact it appears that someone is looking for an excuse. That is what it appears to be in your case.

Stay strong and stick with your resolve, you can do this!