6 months broken up - my ex still says he wants a life with me, should i believe him?

[joanpapau]

Hi,

Basically, we've been broken up for 6 months. I honestly thought we would be back together by now. I have tried to not contact him at all, but every month or less, he would always send me an email or a text message. He says I'm still his best friend, and that he still loves me very much and can't go on a day without thinking about me, at least once an hour every hour each day. But he also says he isnt ready to be in a relationship with me again. His step-sister recently had a baby. He took me with him when his niece was born. He told me in a couple of years he hopes him and I will have our own child ctogether, and that he brought me to see them because he still loves me and still considers me a part of the family, and because we will have our own family in the future. He says in his heart of hearts he wants us to have a baby and share a life with me. However, right now he has to "re-establish" his life. I should also tell you that despite what he says to me, he still goes on "dates" with other girls. I also know he invites other girls out to have drinks with him. So you can tell how confused I am. Should I even believe what he says? I spent the night at his house the other day, I thought he was going to sleep on the couch like he said, but instead crawled in bed with me when he got home. He didn't try to sleep with me, but me being less disciplined, tried to. He refused and said he didn't want to hurt me because he wants to leave the door open for us in the future. But eventually we did start but stopped right away because I started crying. I don't know what to think. He says he needs to find and learn to accept himself and make something of himself first before he can be in a relationship again and that I broke his heart and is himself trying to heal. He is my best friend, and I love him sooo much and miss him. But I don't want to be taken in as a fool. I don't know if he thinks he's just giving me a piece of bone so I would stay and take him back just in case he doesn't find someone else. But for him to say he wants to have a child with me and still share a life with me.....well, that's pretty low if his real intentions are otherwise. Tell me what you think please. Obviously I have deep emotions invested, so I can't always see the obvious. Also, before we broke up, we were in a 10 year relationship, a very long time and a lot of memories. And despite what he says about marriage and kids with me, he says there is no guarantee what the future holds, but that this is what his heart of heart wants.

He says he wants to rebuild our friendship again...we had a life-altering fight, that was the reason for our break-up.

Should I cut off all ties and let him go and be free until he "finds' himself again? Or should I go along with "rebuilding" our friendship? Or should I just completely ignore him, move on and start healing myself?

Thanks!!

[Wakeup]

He says he wants to rebuild our friendship again...we had a life-altering fight, that was the reason for our break-up.

I would need to know what the fight was about to give you an educated guess as to whether or not you should keep this smooooooth talking asswipe in your life or not.

He wants to screw around as much as he wants while he keeps you on his hook. My advice to you would be to stop all contact with him unless his email to you says... "I've made a mistake and I really want you to be my exclusive life-partner." Anything less than that is just words without backing.

If he loved you as much as he said he does then he wouldn't want to take a chance of you meeting someone new and kicking his smooth talking ass to the curb. Don't believe everything you hear... Actions mean more than words and his actions are telling you that he doesn't want you but he'll keep you around for back-up for the time being.

Get on with your life and start dating other men. Don't give him the security of knowing you're totally in love so he can take you for granted without fear and thereby stagnating your life the way he is because of your hope.

[IndiReloaded]

Truth, right here:

He wants to screw around as much as he wants while he keeps you on his hook. My advice to you would be to stop all contact with him unless his email to you says... "I've made a mistake and I really want you to be my exclusive life-partner." Anything less than that is just words without backing. Don't believe everything you hear... Actions mean more than words and his actions are telling you that he doesn't want you but he'll keep you around for back-up for the time being.

Get on with your life.

But for him to say he wants to have a child with me and still share a life with me.....well, that's pretty low if his real intentions are otherwise.

Yes, you got it but don't want to believe it but this is true^. Its just his way to keep you hanging on the line.... again, I suspect. Is this possibly the reason you broke up in the first place? Was he unwilling to commit when it came time to shit or get off the pot? Past time, in fact, if you were together for 10 years.

Guys like this thrive on attention. Move along; this one is just not that into you or you wouldn't be posting this issue, he's have already married you. There is something about you or him that is keeping him from it. Sorry.