when friendships possibly become hard...

[laura__x]

Hiya, if anyone reads this and replies thankyou so much!

I've got a best friend called Nash, and we're so close, tell each other everything and do everything together. I wouldn't change him for the world, about 3 months ago I started to develop feelings for him, and I told him about it just to save awkwardness etc. The night I told him he was quite vague about his feelings for me, but since then there's been a lot of heavy flirting, and he's insinuated a lot of things etc.

Last night him and a couple more of our friends came round mine for a drink, and me and Nash ended up sleeping together, and he started it. I'd like to stress that he's not the kind of man to mistreat anyone let alone a woman, so I'm slightly confused about why it happened.

A guy's point of view would be great, and how should I proceed now? Do I try and have an awkward conversation with him about what happened and where it's going (if anywhere) or just act like nothing happened?

Please help!

[jb1111983]

What do you want from him? A relationship? Then you definitely need to have a talk with him and be honest with him about your feelings where you'd like this to go.

On the other hand if you're happy just being friends and wants to continue that way, you probably don't need to talk about it with him. I mean there's no point in it, right?

Another option could be FWB? But this one is unlikely to lead to a relationship.

[HeartIsAching]

I'm confused. Why would you think that sleeping with you is mistreating you? You've said there's been a lot of heavy flirting and insinuation, but your confused about why he slept with you? I'm not seeing any ambiguity here.

You told him that you had feelings for you, and he's reciprocated with gestures and actions... this tells me that you're much better at interpersonal communication than he is. Don't worry, all is not lost. All you need to do is continue to be clear in your communications with him - and that INCLUDES telling him what you want, asking him what he wants, and to be clear and unambiguous about it. Don't pussy-foot around it, just come out and say it.

[laura__x]

So in summary, sometimes physical actions are what men use to communicate? I wasn't confused that we did sleep together, just confused about what it could mean.

[Mathias]

So in summary, sometimes physical actions are what men use to communicate? I wasn't confused that we did sleep together, just confused about what it could mean.

Ask him. You're afraid to, and you're just going to be confused until you do.

[laura__x]

We have spoken about it briefly, but only because the situation has got more complicated, his best friend Stu told all of our friends that he liked me, and when Nash confronted him about it Stu denied it, so Nash said he couldn't see any reason for us to not fool around etc. I asked Stu about his feelings for me, to clear the air and he told me and Nash that he's been in love with me for a while now, but didn't say anything because he didn't want to lose his friendship with me. I spoke to Nash about what's going to happen next with us, and he said he doesn't want anything more to happen because it will just cause more hassle between the whole of our friendship circle. We both feel guilty for upsetting Stu, is he trying to keep Stu happy by being reluctant now?

[leoben]

He's using Stu's affections as an excuse to stop things. If a guy really wants you then he will take you given the opportunity, friendship's be damned. This is especially true considering Stu really has no claim since you never dated him.

[smackie9]

Ya Stu has no claim..... I agree with this too. Nash's attraction towards you is strictly physical...FWB. That's why he was hesitant to say he felt the same way, because he doesn't. He took advantage of you, like most horny guys will do. They will do and say anything to get sex, especially when it is offered...morals usually go right out the window. So Nash cares more about his friend's feelings than he does yours. He's not that into you enough to sacrifice the friendship.